Chest Pain and Panic Attacks Ruining My Life!

[Hjkjohn]

Hello everyone,

My names John and I'm new to this forum. I'm 18 and live in San Diego, CA. I apologize in advance for my first post being about me and my Panic Disorder. I am doing everything I can and am open to any suggestions that could help lead me to recovery, which will happen. I want to help anyone else I can along the way. If anyone feels they can relate to me and needs a texting buddy to get through rough times, I'd be happy to do that.

I've been dealing with this for about 7 weeks now and it's making my life a living hell. I've always been a somewhat anxious kid but could go and do everything I wanted and had a normal life.

I had started smoking weed in 11th grade. Loved smoking. Usually before bed or with friends at the beach. My dad passed away in 11th grade and it was rough but I survived a normal happy life. I had a really good virtual business teacher who was into all the same stuff as me. He liked working on cars and going keeping on the weekends. I'd often go with him and have dinner with his family. He was really there for me when my dad died. A year later in 12th grade I make plans with him to go to the desert to go to some jeep trails with his family and a few other family's. That day he said he wasn't feeling that good and was gonna go to the doctor later that day. Which was odd for him because he didn't believe in going to the doctors, he said only his family does. The next day I go to school excited to head out later in the day to find out he died in his sleep from a massive heart attack while napping before the doctors. Needless to say that was a horrible day.

First ever panic attack soon hits.Weeks later I'm at a party, haven't smoked since he died. One of my friends comes up to me and is like dude you have to try a dab. Which is a very concentrated butane extracted hit of THC. My heart started racing and my chest started to hurt really bad, thats when the panic set in. I couldn't sit, stand, lay down, or anything. Just paced around anxiously worrying. The chest pain gets worse and my heart is beating so fast it feels like it's gonna explode, I start pacing faster coming to the conclusion that I've just killed myself and I'm about to drop dead any second. I thought my veins were exploding inside me and I accepted the fact I was going to die that night. This went on for hours, about 7 hours. It wasn't till around 4am that I had calmed down enough to fall asleep. Worst night of my life but o was so happy to wake up. I still have a new found appreciation of life after that night. I vouched to never smoke again. The panic was limited to the trigger of smoking pot.

Weeks go by and me being an Idiot decides one joint can't hurt. Smoked it and got anxious but managed and ate some oranges. Thought it was limited to the one time. Smoked another time and had another full blown panic attack that was the same and went on for hours. So bad to the point I almosted called 911 but ended up just being driven to the ER where I didn't check in and just sat till I calmed down.

I never smoked weed ever again after that. I had no panic attacks and was completely fine for months and months after that.

About 2 months ago my life flipped. I had my first panic attack at work, I had decided to take a year off to save up money before college. I got a job at the local Lumberyard as a delivery driver and load builder. The job was hard work but got a couple raises in the first 3 months there. I was about to use one of the saws when I felt dizzy and my chest started hurting, I was scared, then it got hard to breathe, I went inside and got some water and sat down to relax, got up chest started hurting again and I started to panic, I couldn't breathe, my chest hurt, I was all sorts of dizzy and scared. My boss took me to the ER where I had an EKG and was told I was fine and sent on my way. I didn't understand how it was "fine". So I went and saw my urgent care doctor who did a bunch of blood tests and a chest x-Ray and all was good. I was still dizzy and shooken up though.

Later that night I had another panic attack which was worse than the one earlier in the day. I started having full blown panic attacks with no trigger. It was horrible. I missed work for a week and pretty much didn't leave my bed due to constant panic attacks. One day I just decided I'm not gonna fear them I'm gonna do everything I can to trigger one and just let it happen. Got up and drove around hoping for it to happen. Nothing happened I was ok. I went back to work the next day to bosses who now hated me and didn't understand at all what happened to me. Keep In mind I was their favorite yard guy before the incident. I worked for few days before the foreman came back and went off on me for missing work even though I had a doctors note. I walked out and never went back. Life was good.

I got a new job as a smartphone and computer technician. Which I loved and was great at.

I started to become anxious again and it seems I was constantly on edge of a panic attack, I was avoiding going very far from a hospital. Not going to the desert with my friends as it was too far from help if I needed it. It got to the point I couldn't even go to the jeep trails that were 5 miles from my house and the hospital. I decide to pick up a prescription of celexa which a doctor had previously suggested to me and put in an order for.

I felt good for the first 3 days, then I started to feel dizzy for a few days, then I got really nauseous and became very anxious. I was walking to my car and my vision went completely out of whack, I was seeing lines of blurry colors shooting everyWhere. My chest started hurting really bad, I paniced, very severe panic attack and went to the ER. They held me for hours and gave me iv with Benadryll, nausea medicine, and some other medicine. I started to feel better and slept in the bed for about 30 minutes, I awoke freezing, insanely thirsty, I tossed and turned and was so uncomfortable, it was an unbearably scaring uncomfortable. I started to cry, I wanted to jump out of my skin. I told them and they said it could be the nausea medicine and offered me another shot of benadryll. I didn't want it, I didn't want to get up but I did, we'd been there for hours and my girlfriend was exhausted. Walking to the car was hell, I was still uncomfortable in my skin and the thirstiest I had ever been in my life. We made it to the car and I told her not to leave, I was in such a bad state. The uncomfortableness got so unbearable. No way I moved did I feel ok, I had two water bottles which I kept sipping everytime the severe thirst came back, they were gone In 30 min, I walked into the hospital disoriented needing to pee and full up the bottles 3 times in the course of 3 hours. I became depressed from the horrible uncomfortable feeling. Thinking about how is have to kill myself if it didn't go away and all the things I wouldn't get to do when I killed myself. I prayed to God for it to go away. Hoirs passed and I finally agreed to going home. I managed to sleep and was ok.

Very anxious few days as I weened myself off the celexa, the doctors at the hospital had no idea whether I should continue taking it. I started to feel better and went to work over the New Years and was fine on edge but ok. yesterday I went to work and I got really dizzy and my chest started to hurt really bad, my legs started to hurt, my left side stated hurting and getting numb. I started thinking I was having a heart attack again and went to urgent care. The doctor was very understanding as his son went through a similar thing. He ordered a 30 day heart monitor to rule out any heart issue, I'm supposed to call Monday to set that up. He also prescribed me a beta blocker to stop adrenaline rushes. Haven't picked it up or plan to as I am allergic to all nuts. If I wat a nut and have anaphylaxis while on a beta blocker the epinephrine shot won't be able to save my life.

The past week I've had chronic ringing in my ears, chest pains, numbness, dizzyness, and nausea.
Hard to believe all of it is caused by anxiety. As the chest pains are very real and scary.
They are usually in my left side near my heart and are sudden and sharp and only last a couple seconds, sometimes they are longer, and often it's an uncomfortable tightness that moves to by my ribs. Sometimes into my shoulder and back inbetween my shoulder blade and spine. Then they'll subside and come back on the right side. It's hard to convince myself it isn't heart related sometimes. That's when I go into panic attacks now.

I don't feel good at all anymore.
Dizzy all the time
Chest pains on off all day
Heart palpitations
Muscle pains in left side and sometimes right after the chest pains
Breathing feels weird.

Just want to be back to how I was before all this.

I stay hopeful and am confident I will beat this. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Right now I do breathing exercises when I feel anxious, but work has almost become an impossibility. Thanks in advance and I can't wait to be on the other side of this with all you guys.

[SophieCass]

Hi my names Sophie,
Not very good at speaking sorry, Primary school and Trichotillomania (disorder, now gone),stopped that, anyway your first attack sounded exactly like the time I had one on my "relaxing" holiday in Queensland when I was 14 I couldn't breath, think, I paced in the apartment and I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I couldn't focus and it seemed as though the walls were closing in (it was a decent sized area) plus claustrophobia didn't make things any prettier. It was shit scary and a lot more happened that I can't say (I have my reasons). That was a year or two after I had gotten over Trichotillomania.
That was one of my anxiety attacks.
Also I'm really sorry your father died you have my sympathies, although I've never experienced a parent gone, I've had three members of my family die in late years. One of cancer, two of old age. Sadly I was unable two attend two 1: I was five when it happened 2:My mother didn't let me attend even though I wanted to go and say a proper farewell. I felt so upset when I heard he died of old age because I remember when he still had faint memory all he wanted was a picture drawn by me when I was younger I was to "busy" and regretted not doing anything, and I was heartbroken that I couldn't make it up to him at the funeral.

It's funny because every now and then I get a minor attack where I just panic and cannot breath, less freaky than the holiday I can tell u that, it's mainly when I'm around my mother who thinks I'm just a hypochondriac and my step dad who gives me lectures all the time which sends me into a rage.
My attacks are of less threat but are coming more often and mostly coming at random, but the interesting thing is there mostly triggered when I have my random rage quit, which is really hilarious to watch when I go off at classmates that piss me off, hilarious if your not the receiving end that is, lol. After, I start panicking and can't breath. Usually I can't focus enough to hear anyone, and it gets much worse when someone tries to calm me down.
Funny at first but then it's horrible for me, then again anxiety/panic attacks are a common thing that occurs today. That still doesn't mean that everyone's story's are meaningless, at the end of the day millions of people experience this but it's a unique experience that is not necessarily positive.

[Hjkjohn]

Hi my names Sophie,
Not very good at speaking sorry, Primary school and Trichotillomania (disorder, now gone),stopped that, anyway your first attack sounded exactly like the time I had one on my "relaxing" holiday in Queensland when I was 14 I couldn't breath, think, I paced in the apartment and I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I couldn't focus and it seemed as though the walls were closing in (it was a decent sized area) plus claustrophobia didn't make things any prettier. It was shit scary and a lot more happened that I can't say (I have my reasons). That was a year or two after I had gotten over Trichotillomania.
That was one of my anxiety attacks.
Also I'm really sorry your father died you have my sympathies, although I've never experienced a parent gone, I've had three members of my family die in late years. One of cancer, two of old age. Sadly I was unable two attend two 1: I was five when it happened 2:My mother didn't let me attend even though I wanted to go and say a proper farewell. I felt so upset when I heard he died of old age because I remember when he still had faint memory all he wanted was a picture drawn by me when I was younger I was to "busy" and regretted not doing anything, and I was heartbroken that I couldn't make it up to him at the funeral.

It's funny because every now and then I get a minor attack where I just panic and cannot breath, less freaky than the holiday I can tell u that, it's mainly when I'm around my mother who thinks I'm just a hypochondriac and my step dad who gives me lectures all the time which sends me into a rage.
My attacks are of less threat but are coming more often and mostly coming at random, but the interesting thing is there mostly triggered when I have my random rage quit, which is really hilarious to watch when I go off at classmates that piss me off, hilarious if your not the receiving end that is, lol. After, I start panicking and can't breath. Usually I can't focus enough to hear anyone, and it gets much worse when someone tries to calm me down.
Funny at first but then it's horrible for me, then again anxiety/panic attacks are a common thing that occurs today. That still doesn't mean that everyone's story's are meaningless, at the end of the day millions of people experience this but it's a unique experience that is not necessarily positive.

It's definitely not fun when someone doesn't understand anxiety and panic attacks. It seems that the only way to cope with someone yelling at you which causes is with panic disorder to have a panic attack is to rage. The anxiety is almost shut out by anger. That's why I had to quit my last job. He thought it was all excuses to miss work. So he'd yell and get mad, even after showing him multiple doctors notes and papers from the hospital. When he went off on me it was either have a panic attack or get pissed off and leave. Easy choice.

The last week has been pretty amazing for me, each day getting progressively better. I No longer am waking up and having my first thoughts be about how I feel. I'm thinking more about other things. I've had the heart monitor for 3 days and my chest pains are happening less and less often. My once constant dizziness is now occasional which gives me hope that it will be gone one day. I'm enjoying stuff more and more again. I still get anxious when I get too far from home, but I keep pushing the boundaries and each time gets easier. Definitely doesn't help to have a Jeep that has a ton of exhaust leaks that make me paranoid I'm gonna black out and die driving from carbon monoxide poisoning. I am starting to see how ridiculous that sounds. As are all my other worries. You can't enjoy life worrying about dying or having a heart attack. And I'm coming to understand that if it happens it happens and I'm no more at risk than any other healthy 18 year old.

[SophieCass]

It's definitely not fun when someone doesn't understand anxiety and panic attacks. It seems that the only way to cope with someone yelling at you which causes is with panic disorder to have a panic attack is to rage. The anxiety is almost shut out by anger. That's why I had to quit my last job. He thought it was all excuses to miss work. So he'd yell and get mad, even after showing him multiple doctors notes and papers from the hospital. When he went off on me it was either have a panic attack or get pissed off and leave. Easy choice.

The last week has been pretty amazing for me, each day getting progressively better. I No longer am waking up and having my first thoughts be about how I feel. I'm thinking more about other things. I've had the heart monitor for 3 days and my chest pains are happening less and less often. My once constant dizziness is now occasional which gives me hope that it will be gone one day. I'm enjoying stuff more and more again. I still get anxious when I get too far from home, but I keep pushing the boundaries and each time gets easier. Definitely doesn't help to have a Jeep that has a ton of exhaust leaks that make me paranoid I'm gonna black out and die driving from carbon monoxide poisoning. I am starting to see how ridiculous that sounds. As are all my other worries. You can't enjoy life worrying about dying or having a heart attack. And I'm coming to understand that if it happens it happens and I'm no more at risk than any other healthy 18 year old.

It's great to know that you are progressing, its what everyone loves to hear. Can't argue with a great week. For example, getting over Trichotillomania was not fun, worst part there was treatment, meds for it and at the time my mother it didn't even cross her mind to go and have me tested. Unlike the others who had permanent damage because of the disorder I was lucky to have gotten rid of it on my own (wasn't easy and consumed a lot of time). A long way back I saw an discussion on the news, it was about the disorder and it showed people in there 30's and 20's who had it, and I thought "shit, then how did i get the disorder I was only 11!).
Just comes to show even a 11 year old (at the time) could get over a stress disorder commonly found in women in there 20's and 30's etcetera. If I could over come something as fucked up as Trichotillomania, I think anyone can overcome there problems with time, people just have to ignore all the negatives and try to focus on all the good things in life.

[ashly1221]

Hey John,

Sorry to hear about your rough go lately. I relate to you a lot, and you need to know, it will get better.

My Dad died when I was 16 (2 weeks before I turned 17) and that sure did a number on me. I drank and smoked weed from 17-18 then pulled my head out of my ass and decided to be a good aunty to my nephew and be a good family support. That's when I started getting anxiety and panic attacks. I too have called 911, and had MANY trips to the ER just to find there is nothing physically wrong with me. My family has a history of heart problems so that kind of freaked me out too, but after bloodwork a few times and a few EKG's I believed them when they said my heart was fine. I still wonder from time to time, especially when my chest hurts, which isn't as often as when I was about your age (I'm 24 now)

The chest pain, neck pain, shoulder pain and occasionally weakness in the arm and fingers is what REALLY scared me before, and now I know a little more about it so I don't worry as much. My family Dr - who is actually a phenomenal doctor and mentor or sorts for me- sat me down and explained the chest pains to me one day. The jist of it is that when you're stressed (which you are, because you have panic disorder as well) your muscles will tense and stay tense, thus causing knots in your muscles and that will naturally leave you hunched over a little. By hunched over I mean your shoulders will naturally slouch forward to ease the tense muscles. Which in turn stretches your back muscles and shortens your chest muscles (I really hope you're still with me on this one lol) so that's where the chest pains generally come from. Is that your chest muscles are just way too tight and are fighting to correct your posture and stretch back out to how they should be and not be all tight and bunched up any more.

My sister is a massage therapist as well so both her and my doctor explained this to me to make perfect sense so I am sorry if it doesn't make sense to you.

Anyways, go get a massage. Like a good long massage, make sure you tell the massage therapist you get panic attacks and they generally know what areas to work on. Chest massages make a world of difference, and once you get one, you will kind of know how to do it to yourself on your chest. Whenever I get chest pains I immediately start massaging my neck, shoulder and chest to relieve the tension in my muscles. Also, if you're open to acupuncture, that is very helpful as well.

A bit thing that helped me get over having constant panic attacks was exposure therapy. And it sucks. Big time. I had a really good therapist who encouraged me to stay where I was when I had a panic attack (usually somewhere public, grocery store, gas station, shopping mall) and ride it out. I once had a panic attack at a funeral - while we were all sitting and the service was going on - that was a rough one. The panic attack never lasts long, although it feels like it won't ever stop. But it does stop.

I know it's all newer to you and it's scary and it still scares me too from time to time. But when you have a panic attack you need to know you're going to be ok and that it won't last forever. Try and breathe, like take deep breathes (haha yeah right, I know, that's why I said try) and try to relax your muscles and just feel whatever your body is trying to make you feel.

As for Celexa, the start up for Celexa can be rough. Took me a good 2-3 weeks to feel somewhat normal again. Just because one medication doesn't work for you doesn't mean they all won't.

[lexi3309]

Hello John! My name is Lexi. Reading your post, I feel as if I wrote it which I am sure so many other people feel the same way. I have never lost a parent so I can't imagine how terrible that was for you. But I do relate to everything else. I used to smoke on a regular basis and it would always always always calm me down and relax me, made me happy and care free. The first time I smoked after I had ben living with anxiety for about a month, I took the smallest hit and immediately my heart was racing, I could feel the blood rushing to my face and head. I tried to talk myself out of it but it was like a hammer and nail and wouldn't stop. I decided right then and there that I would never smoke again which honestly makes me quite sad. For the longest time I looked to weed to help me to relax and find my inner peace and now I have a constant fear that my inner peace is gone forever. I have far less panic attacks today but have constant anxiety. Constantly worried about something going on in my head or if I'm about to have an anurism. It's absolutely frustrating. But when this all first started, I had the intense heart racing and pounding, I thought I was having a heart attack no doubt. I have prepared myself to die because nothing else could possibly be happening to me. I made probably 6 tips to the ER every time this happened. I was even admitted for 3 days and had a full work up on my heart. Of course, everything came back fine. I have a perfectly healthy 26 year old heart. So after I left the hospital that last time, I told myself that every time this started to happen that I wouldn't be scared. I wouldn't run to the hospital and I wouldn't let it control me. Eventually I stopped having them. I don't know why or how but I honestly think it's because I stopped being afraid of having a heart attack or something being wrong with my heart. Now my anxiety is centered around my head and thoughts. I was fine for a couple weeks and then the anxiety took over my mind and I wish it would have just went away. So now that's where I am at. My advice for you would be to just show your panic attacks who are in control. I read a story on this website where a guy would literally yell at himself to just go ahead and die already! Go ahead and take me if that's what you want and pretty soon it owuld lose it's effect because he would realize nothing bad was going to happen. Maybe next time you start to go through a terrible episode, just stand up to it (and i know that is so much easier said than done) but like I said, once I stopped being scared of my pounding heart and fear of having a heart attack, it stopped controlling me every day like it was. Although now I have a different type of anxiety that I am currently tryingto battle and over come but when I read your story, I related so completely. And I just want you to know you are not alone and this forum is the best that has happened to my anxiety. You are never alone and you are surrounded by people who are going through exactly the same thing! It is absolutely crazy to me that anxiety causes people to experience such physical pain but I truly believe once you stand up to that pain and your thoughts, it will get easier each time until the anxiety and pain have no power. Currently struggling with that myself but I am grateful for every day taht we are all here to help each other get through such a difficult time. I hope your anxiety goes away and you find peace and happiness again in your life. I hope that for every one here going through this. Sorry for the long post. You just get carried away talking about this stuff sometimes.

[Hjkjohn]

John my heart really goes out to you and I'm so sorry for your losses. Your story really makes me emotional and I feel compassion for you. I do have a possible solution for you if your still looking.
It's natural, it works, and it's safe. I work in the health and wellness industry and have had great success in helping individuals just like you including my husband. I would like to send you a free product sample to try out if you'd like. No strings attached.
Let me know...
Kelli


What is the product called so I can do some research?