kawaiicocoberry
01-02-2015, 12:34 PM
Hello everyone,
First time poster here.
I suffer from anxiety/depression. Well, I believe I do but I've not been properly diagnosed. I have attended therapy/counseling for awhile
and found it to really beneficial, however I had stop going due to financial constraints. I tend to have obsessive thoughts quite frequently and going to counseling was a great outlet and gave me some tools to cope. It has been over six months since I last had a session and I feel unable to deal with these thoughts. It is usually the case that I will obsess/worry about something for weeks and even months. Once I get 'over' this worry, a new one crops up and on it goes. My counselor was great at helping me see that I was thinking irrationally.
But I'm not sure if my current 'obsession' is that irrational....
It started a few years ago when I started a new job. My boss was only a few years older than me and we got on pretty well. I was never really sure where I stood with him. Sometimes he could be a bit cold and rude, other times he was kinda flirty with me, sometimes annoyingly so (staring at me, etc.) Or so I thought. In any case, he left my job when I was there about a year. I was quite upset about it at the time, mostly because I felt incompetent at some elements of my job and he was always pretty understanding about it, whereas the team I was working with were pretty much awful to work with. When he left I felt I was 'on my own' somewhat (my counselor pointed out that I have abandonment issues, so maybe that is something to do with it.)
Sometimes I also felt like I had a tiny crush on him, but looking back on it (this was about two years ago now) I feel this was mostly a combination of being bored in work and being confused by the way he acted around me.
In any case, I'm really embarrassed by how I acted on the night of his leaving party. I was pretty drunk and basically blurted out how much I hated my job, etc and that I'd find it difficult with him gone (purely from a professional point of view). He was quite nice about it and told me to contact him if I needed help.
However, he also made some remark about his wife glaring at me like she was jealous of me or something... another weird remark by him! This made me paranoid the next day about how I acted and if it was inappropriate.
Anyway, none of this would matter if I wasn't in a long-term relationship, which I'm still in now. I love my BF more than anything, but whenever I think about my old boss I feel very guilty. I'm not even sure why! I didn't cheat, either physically or emotionally, at most I had maybe a temporary crush but as I said I don't think this really even meant anything looking back on it.
Sorry for the long-winded post but I thought perhaps other folks who suffer from anxiety could shed some light on this... am I just obsessing over something ridiculous (again) or should I say something to my BF (I told him already about my ex-boss being sorta creepy/flirty)?
Should I feel guilty or is it just anxiety? Btw, my counsellor said that my BF and I are co-dependent with me relying on him quite a bit to make me feel better etc,.
Thanks guys,
Kawaiicocoberry.
First time poster here.
I suffer from anxiety/depression. Well, I believe I do but I've not been properly diagnosed. I have attended therapy/counseling for awhile
and found it to really beneficial, however I had stop going due to financial constraints. I tend to have obsessive thoughts quite frequently and going to counseling was a great outlet and gave me some tools to cope. It has been over six months since I last had a session and I feel unable to deal with these thoughts. It is usually the case that I will obsess/worry about something for weeks and even months. Once I get 'over' this worry, a new one crops up and on it goes. My counselor was great at helping me see that I was thinking irrationally.
But I'm not sure if my current 'obsession' is that irrational....
It started a few years ago when I started a new job. My boss was only a few years older than me and we got on pretty well. I was never really sure where I stood with him. Sometimes he could be a bit cold and rude, other times he was kinda flirty with me, sometimes annoyingly so (staring at me, etc.) Or so I thought. In any case, he left my job when I was there about a year. I was quite upset about it at the time, mostly because I felt incompetent at some elements of my job and he was always pretty understanding about it, whereas the team I was working with were pretty much awful to work with. When he left I felt I was 'on my own' somewhat (my counselor pointed out that I have abandonment issues, so maybe that is something to do with it.)
Sometimes I also felt like I had a tiny crush on him, but looking back on it (this was about two years ago now) I feel this was mostly a combination of being bored in work and being confused by the way he acted around me.
In any case, I'm really embarrassed by how I acted on the night of his leaving party. I was pretty drunk and basically blurted out how much I hated my job, etc and that I'd find it difficult with him gone (purely from a professional point of view). He was quite nice about it and told me to contact him if I needed help.
However, he also made some remark about his wife glaring at me like she was jealous of me or something... another weird remark by him! This made me paranoid the next day about how I acted and if it was inappropriate.
Anyway, none of this would matter if I wasn't in a long-term relationship, which I'm still in now. I love my BF more than anything, but whenever I think about my old boss I feel very guilty. I'm not even sure why! I didn't cheat, either physically or emotionally, at most I had maybe a temporary crush but as I said I don't think this really even meant anything looking back on it.
Sorry for the long-winded post but I thought perhaps other folks who suffer from anxiety could shed some light on this... am I just obsessing over something ridiculous (again) or should I say something to my BF (I told him already about my ex-boss being sorta creepy/flirty)?
Should I feel guilty or is it just anxiety? Btw, my counsellor said that my BF and I are co-dependent with me relying on him quite a bit to make me feel better etc,.
Thanks guys,
Kawaiicocoberry.