My symptoms

[msm]

Hi, I'm going to apologize ahead of time as this is going to be kind of long and winding but IMO necessary to get to the point.

So I'm 18. My life has not been the most calm or peaceful ever. To start, my dad (A disabled veteran, disabled many years before I was born) has had a drinking problem since I was about 5. While he's never really been mean or anything like that, I like him a lot better sober, so whenever he would quit drinking, I always worried about when he would start again, which he always would. When drinking his PTSD tends to act up. He tried suicide in 2012 but was luckily unsuccessful and has improved leaps and bounds since. Because of him, I've swore I will never drink or use drugs. I want to be in control of my life and not unreliable and falling down drunk like he was in the past. My mom got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer that spread to the bones 3 years ago, and while she's fighting it, her health is going downhill and she has had 3 drugs stop working.

Since my mom got cancer, my dad cut back on drinking a lot, but things around the house are nothing like they used to be. My mom isn't able to cook or clean anymore and I help out when I can, but neither me or my dad can cook. Because of this, our meals have been less than nutritious. A standard meal in our house might be 2 hamburgers one night, pizza the next night, and then the next night we might have some dry and burnt chicken with mixed vegetables. So I know already I'm not getting proper nutrients and I know I'm low on magnesium, potassium, zinc, and calcium, and who knows what else.

While never being officially diagnosed, I'm thought to be OCD. When I turn a light off, if I think of something bad, I have to turn it on and back off. When I'm drinking water, I have to take a certain number of sips. I'm also not very social, I have maybe 2 close friends and have never had a girlfriend. Everytime I get close to someone, the school year ends and we don't have the same classes and drift apart. If I see someone I know walking around school or whatever, I look away or it feels really awkward. My mom tends to think I have autism, but again I was never tested and I really don't care if I do or not.

My biggest issue however is that I am a hypochondriac. In the past few years here is a list of things I've worried (usually irrationally) about having.
-Diabetes.
-Various cancers including lymphoma, brain, eye, mouth, thyroid, and heart cancer.
-heart issues.
-going blind.
-losing a limb.
-flesh eating disease.
-lyme disease.

These things usually ended up being something very minor, drinking too much water, lack of sleep, sinus infection, etc.

Additionally, I've worried about other things such as
-Death of parents.
-Death in general.
-Religion.
-Money.
-Being alone.

I'm not sure I've ever had a panic attack, for me it's just general constant panic. One issue I have had for about a year that I believe is caused by stress is weird muscle twitches/jerks. When I stand up and start walking my left arm and leg feel the urge to move to the right and my face somewhat grimaces. It doesn't hurt. I feel like I can control it almost, but I'm over come by this intense urge to just move it. It's not pain, it's more of a buildup of energy, almost like an urge to stretch. If I stand up and stand still for a second, I'm fine. The other time it happens is if I'm standing still for a long period of time and then start walking fast, if I walk slow then get faster, it doesn't happen. At first I figured it was a vitamin deficiency, so I take a multivitamin and magnesium, doesn't help though. I'll notice it happens more if I'm walking past someone I know, so I started thinking it's anxiety related. The day I got my license it was especially bad, likely because of all the stress and anxiety I had at the time. I'm not a very active person anymore either, I used to be known for always riding my bike but in the last 3 years or so I've ridden my bike maybe once. When I do do physical work, I can push myself easily and people often comment on how amazed they are with how hard I work.

It (The spasms) are very predictable. I can predict exactly when and how it happens. If I'm not thinking about it, it doesn't happen. The issue is, I'm always thinking about it. I'll have the twitching/jerking for a few weeks to a month, then eventually I decide I'll stop worrying and just live with it and it ends up going away. The issue is I end up thinking about it coming back again and again and about 2 or 3 weeks after no issues it comes back suddenly. I'm almost positive it's anxiety related, but I worry about it because what if it's not? I have no other symptoms of anything serious. I have no loss of strength in that arm, no numbness, etc. Anyone else have this or something similar?

[Goomba]

If it helps, when I was going through my anxious period, I had loads of random twitches and ticks. MRI revealed a healthy brain.

I'm fairly certain your health anxiety comes from your fear of death. That is the issue to tackle, the health anxieties are the symptoms of not dealing with that fear.

[danielhermanson]

Your health anxiety is the main trigger with you. First, to eliminate any concerns about any possible health issues you need to take a complete medical examination to be sure that anxiety and panic is the only source of physical symptoms. This has another big importance for your mind, it give assurance that you are healthy and this way the negative thoughts would not appear anymore because you know that you are fine.

If the medical examination reveals no serious physical problems you go to the next phase which is starting the fight against anxiety and panic. Now, your first option should be therapy, more exactly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is a free of medication approach.

You need to completely change your state of mind in order to overcome anxiety forever. Work more on your thoughts and mind and less on physical symptoms and medication.

Take care and be positive!

[Gaben Newil]

The hypochondria feeling is the worst. I only get the feelings when I have other pains though. For instance I get a lot of chest pain due to constantly tense muscles and each time I do, I think it's a heart attack. I also have genital pains that I always worry may be cancer or something. As far as doctors say, I'm pretty healthy, but I'm always worried what the future may bring and stuff. I see a lot of flashes in my eyes, which I worry is a sign of diabetes, but it could also be anxiety related. I don't sleep properly so I'm always tired too, which makes anxiety worse.
At the moment, I too been worried about muscle twitches. I've always had loads, but they are happening every few hours now. But I have noticed the muscles that have spasms are the same muscles I twitch when nervous, so perhaps the overuse makes them twitch? I haven't spoken to anyone about it, but I shouldn't think we have to worry. Something serious such as ALS makes your arms basically stop working, and the twitches are usually in your hands and feet. I go by this general rule: if you know you have anxiety, it's going to be that. You'd be amazed at what anxiety can do. A lot of the time, it builds up on other things. For instance, having anxiety often damages your sleep. I'm almost always awake at night then nap during the day, which in turn makes me tired and weak all the time, giving me worries of diabetes. It's a horrible thing to live with and it's hard to find your one true coping mechanism. I have a few friends who I tend to spam with health worries and that calms me down for a day or two usually. Also, when it comes to health scares, what do you actually worry about? I myself am terribly scared of the thought of needing an operation. If I had cancer and there was a pill treatment, I'd be up for that, no problem. But say I had an operable problem, I'd be scared, no matter how minor it is, even though I know operations are usually safe. I guess you just gotta find something that helps keep you calm. Don't worry about being lonely. You will find someone eventually. As for the food, use an online recipe thing to help you eat properly. Cooking is easy once you've got the hang of it, I promise you. I wish you all the luck in the future!

[Im-Suffering]

I will give you a reading, I feel it coming on. So let's get to it.




So I'm 18. My life has not been the most calm or peaceful ever. To start, my dad (A disabled veteran, disabled many years before I was born) has had a drinking problem since I was about 5. While he's never really been mean or anything like that, I like him a lot better sober, so whenever he would quit drinking, I always worried about when he would start again, which he always would. When drinking his PTSD tends to act up. He tried suicide in 2012 but was luckily unsuccessful and has improved leaps and bounds since. Because of him, I've swore I will never drink or use drugs. I want to be in control of my life and not unreliable and falling down drunk like he was in the past. My mom got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer that spread to the bones 3 years ago, and while she's fighting it, her health is going downhill and she has had 3 drugs stop working.

That paragraph I quoted above is all you need as a diagnosis why you feel as you do. Long standing problems that you cannot solve, that seem beyond your control, have caused you to feel helpless, hopeless, and despondent. This continued chronic "in your face" stress has acted upon the nervous system, and continues to 'chip' at it.

Now, your answer.

Stop backing away. Running nowhere.

Turn around.

And face all of it.

Do not sit in the corner trembling facing the wall. Get up! Turn around, and walk into it.

This shall be done in the following ways :

Give.

Give, give, give and give. Aside from learning to cook, period..And this is difficult to word, patience....

Start spending time with mom, in bed, in walks, in eating, in cooking her favorites..watching movies, sharing..You are to start conversations, you are to tell her about your future. What your dreams are, what you will do with your life, how you feel about work, passions, a family of your own, children, you are to tell her you will be ok.

Forgive me..This is coming as I get it

You are to let her open up. Encourage, nudge push...persistently..She must release these emotions, these painful memories, these regrets, the guilt, all of which supresses the immune system and delays any beneficIal natural capabilities for healing. If she does not physically survive, (you need to face it) then she must not die with regret, resentment, or the hurts inside

Do you understand what you must do

You must encourage her to use her imagination, to picture a healthy body, maybe running on her favorite beach, playing in the sand, feeling the vitality of youth, the power within, feel the force of life, joy, love, exuberance..with the expectations of a child...have her picture the cancer as an enemy army and she stops the advancement and wins the war pushing the enemy back. Or as balloons, floating away..she pops them, watching the cancer cells whiz into the atmosphere and out of her body...

You must love her. If she should die, you must have no regrets, so this is for you as much as her.

As for father, well...his behaviour has been a contributing factor in the repression, the illness, he must face his own demons. You will do the same things with him however... You will assist in his healing. You will have him release his regrets (many).. Talk with him....Give...Give...Give.

He is full of sorrow and pain adding to the overall household negative environment that is not conducive to anyone's healing, you see.

Regrets, guilt, shame, repression, shock, trauma, hurt, pain...The alcohol is a vice. He must heal as best as he can by letting it all out, emotionally..especially relationship regrets with mom.....pain he 'thinks' he caused is reason enough for him to 'lay down and die'. And so you are to open up and have talks with him.

I am giving you back a sense of control, and notice I have said nothing about your physical symptoms.

As you act in the manner I have described, you will heal your psyche, and purge your own pent up feelings. You will no longer feel like a small child hopeless in the face of mighty death and gloom, but an empowered adult that is lighting the way of hope and peace....showing the way toward healing, encouragement.

This is the task you are called to do, at 18, you see, the character you build now will be with you for your lifetime.

You are sent much love and light, on this courageous journey. Your efforts do not go unrecognized.

---------

I am "back". I don't know if there is typo errors, I haven't time to read back and correct, unless they interfere with the meaning, I will change later. I do have auto grammar on, with the keyboard, often it makes up its own words.

I want you to print this post. Read it over and over, and begin to act on it.

Love and light.