Is this normal anxiety?

[keepmyhoodup]

Hey I have been feeling excessively anxious lately. My anxiety is always triggered when it comes to mental illnesses. It's my nightmare to be mentally ill in any way. I have had irregular anxiety for about 5 months now, it mainly started when I moved away from my home and EVERYTHING i had planned for my life within the past 2 years went to shit. I get scared of irrational things I hear or see. For example my girlfriend told me about her schizophrenic uncle who thought someone was after him and that made me think "what if someone is after me!?!" so I panicked and started to have that irrational fear. Its incredibly annoying and I'm scared of it getting worse. Or sometimes I think that the only reason people are nice to me is because everyone knows I am ill and they want to treat me nicely. Although it's probably because people are generally nice? I went to a respected therapist many times and he says he sees no signs of anything serious. It scares me from time to time. Can someone else relate? The thoughts sometimes cloud my mind so much it almost feels real. It's pretty scary. Thank you.

[Im-Suffering]

it mainly started when I moved away from my home and EVERYTHING i had planned for my life within the past 2 years went to shit.

Why would you be concerned with anything other than this?

[keepmyhoodup]

For the past 2 years, I had a plan set for school and my future in general. Then one day my dad lost his job, we were forced to move an hour away to a new city, I ended up going to some random community college, REALLY hated it, I dropped out, my girlfriend slept with some guy, and now I'm starting again in a different school (one I actually like) in January. An entire list of things I had planned for my life all had to change and I was forced to take a different path.

[Im-Suffering]

For the past 2 years, I had a plan set for school and my future in general. Then one day my dad lost his job, we were forced to move an hour away to a new city, I ended up going to some random community college, REALLY hated it, I dropped out, my girlfriend slept with some guy, and now I'm starting again in a different school (one I actually like) in January. An entire list of things I had planned for my life all had to change and I was forced to take a different path.

Things have a way of working out. For the better. Dont they? You don't have to speculate or assume, just look at your whole life, not just the past few years. And you'll see how things work.

Who in your family is mentally ill? Another words where did this fear come from? You tell me. Think.

[keepmyhoodup]

Gratefully I come from a very healthy family. Nobody in my family is mentally ill. The older people such as my dad and his brothers have heart problems and require medication for it but they are all in their 60s and 70s. But no history is metal illnesses or anything like that.

[Im-Suffering]

In the future when there is a bumpy road, and you will have times in life where the road forces you to change plans....remember that 90% of your 70+ years will be on track. Pull up the bootstraps during the other 10% and trust that all things work for the good.

Because they do.

About your girlfriend, truth is you never really trusted her, and toward the end you flirted with the idea of other relationships in school etc..

Things are not always as they seem. There's a grey area in life.

[keepmyhoodup]

Thank you very much for that, its comforting to hear. Although does this seem off to you? Is my anxiety normal? Like, it'll go away and be normal again?

[Im-Suffering]

And regards to the mental health issue. Since you don't handle change very well, yet, and it seems the circumstances are beyond your control...(dad losing his job), you repress your true feelings about it.. You are not going to blame dad for ruining your life are you?...and so these repressed emotions turned into inner demons, that bother you. Pesky little thoughts that creates illusions to reinforce the fears. If you were able to fully express your real feelings to everyone, including the girl, than insanity would take a back seat to a healthy mind. 'Get it off your chest'. Because these things did have a direct impact on your life...You are entitled to be upset, you see. Without feeling guilty.

But, no matter, things always work out....You will enjoy the school, and find a girlfriend there.

[Im-Suffering]

I have explained it to you above. Yes, as things settle, and your outlook, expectations, and views change for the better, these little demons on your shoulder will go away.

Remember if anything....express yourself. Be open, honest, and not afraid to hurt the ones you love....if your being you, that simply cannot happen. Openness is love. Fear is withdrawal.

Fear attracts the unwanted thoughts like a magnet.

[billash]

Hey keeomyhodup - I've had this. TOTALLY freaked out by hearing of people with mental illnesses bipolar/sch/ etc. our minds tend to latch-on to sonething when we have anxiety.
It's actually quite a normal fear. Took me a while to believe that obviously but my doc and therapist were patient and knee of my fears and put my mind at ease. I was exhibiting all the symptoms of anxiety disorder and not anything else. I can totally relate to your fears. Also any change in life is extra tough for ppl with anxiety. Change is bad the anxiety tells us. But it's not. It's just different. Ul find ur safe centered space again soon. It's just the anxiety looking for something to grab onto. Be well.

[Im-Suffering]

Lastly...spiritually speaking...dad losing his job was instrumental in the bigger plan of your life. You are just not privy to seeing the future as of yet. In that context, you can thank dad, and the girlfriend for those gifts. (Shifting the plan)...do you understand?

That is all. Stay with me, don't let other intrusive posts throw you off. Save this thread and go back to it when your feeling despondent. It will give you comfort in having faith...to allow life to unfold sometimes altering your plan even if it seems against your will.

[namaste87]

It is a very common symptome of anxiety, this fear of being mentally ill. One of the most common, I think!

[ashly1221]

My whole life has been like a severely shooken up snow globe for the last year or so. In and out of the Doctor and therapist (they work together on my case, so it makes it easier) and trial and error with medications. I am in a new bout of anxiety (yay) and of course it is centred around my mental health. I too have a huge fear of losing it, I am terrified of schizophrenia, bipolar, mood disorders, OCD, everything. Everything but GAD scares me but it's the GAD that's causing me to fear these mental illnesses !! It's a furious cycle. I find that with each bout of anxiety I get (usually last a couple days to a couple weeks) that I find something new to be scared of.

I think for people like us (basically everyone with anxiety and exceptional current life circumstances) needs to just sit down and organize our thoughts and how we are going to go about things. I always feel better when all my ducks are in a row and I know exactly what my next step is. When everything seems to be a mess in my life and out of control, or just too much going on at once, that's when my mind will latch onto something and just hyperfocus on that one thing, which never helps.

So
1. you are not alone in this, I get the same type of anxiety, as do many others
2. try and plan and organize your life as best you can at this point in life
3. tell people how you feel. Internalizing it - does NOT help. People will get hurt sometimes, but it's better to be honest than to let yourself suffer from holding onto things.