One on one

[Drowninginregrets]

I'm not as anxiety filled about being in crowds as I am being in a setting where it's just one person (most of the time someone I'm not use to being around) is the worst for me, especially if it's a date or anyone I would be interested in dating. Someone having their undivided attention on me really makes me anxious and panick. Does anyone else else experience this?

[Xerosnake90]

It isn't wether someone else experienced the same thing. The answer is "how do we fix it for you". So the question is, what about being with someone one on one causes you to be anxious and what could you do to not feel that way?

[Drowninginregrets]

It isn't wether someone else experienced the same thing. The answer is "how do we fix it for you". So the question is, what about being with someone one on one causes you to be anxious and what could you do to not feel that way?

I usually feel like I'm not going to be what they expect or I'm going to do something stupid and they won't like me or think I'm weird

[Xerosnake90]

You are only yourself. You can only know your expectations and only know what you like. Thus you should not worry if you meet someone's expectations. You don't know what they are expect. Someone could find you perfect and be just as afraid as you to let you down. Then they will act awkward towards you and that may be off putting to you. Understand the concept? Just be yourself, and remember that getting to know someone is just that. Knowing someone doesn't mean you have to like them. Or they have to like you.

Once again, be yourself. While you worry about doing or saying something stupid. How do you known the other person doesn't think it's funny? Do they laugh or smile when you said or did whatver you did? Smiles and laughs are pleasure full. Not to be mistaken for mockery.

Relax, don't think so much of things out of your control. Just focus on being whom you are.

[Ins0mniac]

I think you're having a form of agorafobia (scared of unknown people/surroundings), I've had this during my first week of anxiety. I remember when I walked in crowds it would be hard for me to catch my breath as if there's pressure on my chest. After a while it dissapeared, when I became used to it. Don't worry, it'll pass.

Good luck!

[Im-Suffering]

You are only yourself. You can only know your expectations and only know what you like. Thus you should not worry if you meet someone's expectations. You don't know what they are expect. Someone could find you perfect and be just as afraid as you to let you down. Then they will act awkward towards you and that may be off putting to you. Understand the concept? Just be yourself, and remember that getting to know someone is just that. Knowing someone doesn't mean you have to like them. Or they have to like you.

Once again, be yourself. While you worry about doing or saying something stupid. How do you known the other person doesn't think it's funny? Do they laugh or smile when you said or did whatver you did? Smiles and laughs are pleasure full. Not to be mistaken for mockery.

Relax, don't think so much of things out of your control. Just focus on being whom you are.

This.......

[aml0017]

Drowning, I have exactly the same problem. For me it stems from the same place as my anxiety, just the feeling that who I am is not acceptable or not enough for anyone (even myself). There are very few people I am truly myself with, mostly close family members. It takes me a loong time to open up to new people. I also prefer to get to know new people with the buffer of other people I am comfortable with being around. Though I must say it has gotten better the older I get. I find I no longer care if other people don't like me, or think I am snobby, or weird. Whatever. I do envy people who can converse so easily with everyone they meet.

i agree with Xeroxsnakes comment as well. Sometimes when you feel so self aware of every thing you say or do, it makes it more likely you will misinterpret what the other person is saying or their body language. So instead of seeing their laughter as arising because you said something humorous, you will see it as they are making fun of you, which makes you more self conscious. You have to accept yourself first. Easier said than done I know. Being aware of it is the first step.

[Drowninginregrets]

Drowning, I have exactly the same problem. For me it stems from the same place as my anxiety, just the feeling that who I am is not acceptable or not enough for anyone (even myself). There are very few people I am truly myself with, mostly close family members. It takes me a loong time to open up to new people. I also prefer to get to know new people with the buffer of other people I am comfortable with being around. Though I must say it has gotten better the older I get. I find I no longer care if other people don't like me, or think I am snobby, or weird. Whatever. I do envy people who can converse so easily with everyone they meet.

i agree with Xeroxsnakes comment as well. Sometimes when you feel so self aware of every thing you say or do, it makes it more likely you will misinterpret what the other person is saying or their body language. So instead of seeing their laughter as arising because you said something humorous, you will see it as they are making fun of you, which makes you more self conscious. You have to accept yourself first. Easier said than done I know. Being aware of it is the first step.

Never really thought about it but I do ALWAYS try to pick up on peoples body language and in my head it's negative most of the time. I'm glad you brought that to my attention because I'm realizing it's most likely all in my head and I'm thinking about it to much