Diazepam

[TianaStar]

Hi
I've been on Diazepam (Valium) 10mg 3 times per day since 2007. I briefly went off the medication due to not having health insurance at my job. It was very expensive and the withdrawals were terrible. I'm thankful that I got a better job/pay/insurance and I guess I'll explain how it works for me personally. My job involved code blues, and seeing death a lot. I would go into a room and someone that i just spoke to, was dead or clinging to life. Let me get into the medication. It works good & bad for me. It keeps me level. I can work and do just fine on it. It makes me sleepy only when I'm home and not out and about. As long as I'm keeping busy, I'm not as nervous, tense, or anxious around others in public. Some days I take it and I get worried it won't work in time. Somedays I take one, and I feel nothing. I think it's my tolerance. Every Dr. I've had has said they want to weem me off of it because it's addictive/habit forming. One other things, my MEMORY Is awful. It used to not be this bad. I talk to people and sometimes they don't "get me" or understand as if what I said didn't match what my brain is saying.

To each it's own but I will be honest, it gave ME courage. Courage for good and bad. Socially I'm always fearful. But when I take the Valium, I look back on all these times I put myself in harms way. The behavior was risky, stupid, and potentially harmful to my life. I put my life at risk. Not to get too deep into it, but I never abused my medicine. When I went without it, I got nauseated,irritated, agitated etc. So..that's my experience. if anyone wants to talk I will listen, or if you have support/suggestions I'm open thanks

[gypsylee]

Hi there,

I'm not sure if you are asking a question or just telling us your experience. But I want to say I think you're doing well to stay on that same dose without upping it. I was addicted to benzos for many years and I found it really hard to stick to a certain amount because obviously you need more to get the same effect.

I also found that in the long-term they made my anxiety worse (even without withdrawals). I actually came off them relatively easily but I think I'm lucky in that respect.

Anyway, all the best..
Gypsy :)

[TianaStar]

Hi Gypsy, thanks for sharing your story. I was sharing my experience and welcoming anyone to say their part. Like with me, I know I can't depend on a pill for the rest of my life. I don't want to be dependent on anything like that. If I plan to have children, I can't be on benzos while pregnant and lately I've been thinking about that.
It's not even an option to harm a baby! So that's why I have started drinking more tea, and I plan to exercise to get my stress relieved in some ways. I can't stop my Valium but it's a one step at a time process.