The fear of death.

[AliasEQ]

Hey gang,

I don't know why, but recently, alot more people around me is dealing with death. Either it's them or someone close to them. 4 childhood friends of mine are gone and they all went away in the past 6 months. After this, I'm constantly questioning my existence and I've developed this extreme fear of dying. Not a normal fear, but a fear where I'm constantly thinking of death.

Now, what scares me, is not death itself. Like, what I believe in, is irrelevant in this case, because I'm afraid of the "transition" or the "bang" - that moment when you go from this life to the next. Just thinking of that... ugh.

I'm trying to not think about it and just move on and when it happens - it happens. But I can't help but to think of it again and again when I'm constantly being reminded of it.

I know death is a normal fear, but this has gone way too far. I can't live like this, with this constantly on my mind. How do you deal with this?

Help is appreciated as always.

Elias

[gypsylee]

Hey gang,

I don't know why, but recently, alot more people around me is dealing with death. Either it's them or someone close to them. 4 childhood friends of mine are gone and they all went away in the past 6 months. After this, I'm constantly questioning my existence and I've developed this extreme fear of dying. Not a normal fear, but a fear where I'm constantly thinking of death.

Now, what scares me, is not death itself. Like, what I believe in, is irrelevant in this case, because I'm afraid of the "transition" or the "bang" - that moment when you go from this life to the next. Just thinking of that... ugh.

I'm trying to not think about it and just move on and when it happens - it happens. But I can't help but to think of it again and again when I'm constantly being reminded of it.

I know death is a normal fear, but this has gone way too far. I can't live like this, with this constantly on my mind. How do you deal with this?

Help is appreciated as always.

Elias

Hi Elias,

I don't know what your religious beliefs are but I read The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying recently. It's Buddhist obviously but I don't think you need to be Buddhist to appreciate it - I'm not, although I do like their philosophy and have done a lot of reading on it over the years. The book goes into depth about the moment we transition from this life to the next, how we can prepare for that, and so on. To be honest a lot of it's a bit boring (I actually listened to the audiobook rather than read it) but if you're pre-occupied with death and it's distressing you, it could be helpful.

I think part of the problem for us is that our culture sees death as very taboo. Other cultures are far more open about it and see it as a part of life.. In fact the Buddhists see life as a sort of preparation for death (and subsequent reincarnation). So it might be helpful just to do some reading on the way death is viewed by other cultures. That way it becomes a lot less frightening. Trying not to think about something never works :) Death has been "in my face" recently as well and I think maybe there's a lesson in that for me.

Oh and there's also been a lot written on near death experiences. These are even being studied more and more by science, so it isn't all "mumbo jumbo" about "going towards the light" lol. I've read some very interesting articles on this. I think there's a book written by a Neuroscientist on it.

So a bit of googling might be quite helpful for you. I think the important thing is to "make peace" with the concept of death. A lot of people stay in denial of it their whole life so when it touches them, either personally or via someone close, it's a really scary thing.

Best of luck..
Gypsy x

[jessed03]

I once knew of a woman who was declared dead for around 45 minutes. I've mentioned this on the forum before. She said being dead was the most peaceful experience imaginable, that coming back to Earth was anti-climatic. There's a lot of documentation, as Gypsy pointed out, that suggests that transition moment isn't all that bad. That dare I say it, is actually enjoyable.

[AliasEQ]

Hi Elias,
I don't know what your religious beliefs are but I read The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying recently[...]

Thing is, I don't want my belief to be based on emotional arguments. This whole fear is emotional, while my beliefs are logical and rational(imo, ofc). I believe in a live after this - and even if I believed that there wasn't a life after this, I'd still think that death itself, is peaceful. It's not the death itself I'm fearing. But that pain, that transition moment, that fear.

I'll check that book out. Thanks for the help Gypsy :)


I once knew of a woman who was declared dead for around 45 minutes. I've mentioned this on the forum before. She said being dead was the most peaceful experience imaginable, that coming back to Earth was anti-climatic. There's a lot of documentation, as Gypsy pointed out, that suggests that transition moment isn't all that bad. That dare I say it, is actually enjoyable.

Jessed! :D Long time no C

Idk about those near death experience. I mean, scientifically, we don't exist at all after we die right? We randomly disappear. Did those people who was declared dead actually "disappear" and then found their way back? xD Idk. I've seen some scientists say it's " a hallucination caused by various neurological factors such as cerebral anoxia, hypercarbia, abnormal activity in the temporal lobes or brain damage.". No idea what the hell they mean by that, but I guess they're saying that those people didn't actually die? oh well, idk

How r u doing btw? :P

[jessed03]

Yeah I don't think they die die, just come closest out of anyone alive to actual death. For the most part, the process of leaving seems quite pleasant, before they're brought back. Blissful, actually.

You're scared of the actual moment when you cross over from this form of consciousness to whatever's next? I guess you'll be in a completely different state you won't really get much chance to comprehend it. I kind of imagine it'll be like the moment you fall asleep. We do it every night, but nobody ever remembers falling asleep. Nobody can pinpoint the exact moment or recollect the few seconds when they head off to dreamland the next day. We're already one foot into a different form of consciousness, that's why. Passing on strikes me as similar.

I'm good anyway! Not enjoying winter much though. How about you?

[Im-Suffering]

It's not the death itself I'm fearing. But that pain, that transition moment, that fear.


Since this is a universal fear, I will do a quick reading, for truth. Let's begin:

I will tell you, and you can believe me, that birth is much more of a shock. That is what you are remembering. The physical environment is harsh, and a sharp immediate contrast for the soul. Along with an almost deafening thrust into a concrete environment ( physical senses come alive) along with an instant memory loss. (To a degree). The creature must now utterly trust, you see. Like death, there is always a letting go. But the baby (soul) must deal now with its physical brain, and limitations. (Undeveloped) so the fear and trust are similarly acute. The baby must be held, see? That is paramount. (Mom). (Underline twice)

Anxiety (as a future 'disorder' or challenge) if destined, or in human terms 'in the cards', begins now.

Once the soul has committed to it, of course. Often you have still born or conditions where the soul has simply changed its mind, or the womb experience was enough. You can back out if the life is to be difficult. There is a multitude of reasons in any case.

You are afraid of the circumstances of death, you understand, not death itself. Because there is faint remembrance with unpleasant conditions. I'll use your Titanic, as a fearful event that some carry, you see. Where a death was thrust upon them, along with trauma and shock. Or a soldier in the front lines. Those last moments contain severe trauma, with little time for acceptance. Interestingly, you will find, those that handle anxiety best, do so by utter acceptance..and so acceptance is an important watchword, in any area of life or death, or issue.

With death, you prepare psychologically. Generally, people know. A time of letting go, surrender, even excitement as the individual looks forward to a new life, New body, where the current one may be worn or damaged. You can liken this to the man on death row, who has acquiesced quietly, peacefully, eating his last meal.

In greater truth, which you will not understand, no one dies unless they have chosen it. There you will find much thought has been given to death,and for quite some time. There of course he will be taught (after death)to value (any) life, and see the error of his way. Even those with a long terminal illness will be enlightened to their responsibility and have the illness traced back to their thoughts, until the connection is made.

No need to read any books.

Just pay attention. No more is needed on this unless you wish me to give more. Or you are welcome to ignore this post and go on as you have. Pretending ignorance.

[gypsylee]

I was hoping you'd reply to this post, Im-Suffering :)

Interesting you say birth is more traumatic. I've always felt sorry for newborns having to cope with being thrust into the world like that. It must be such an uncomfortable shock after being all cosy in the womb, and I swear I never quite recovered from it!

[Im-Suffering]

after being all cosy in the womb, and I swear I never quite recovered from it!

*smiles your way*

[JohnC]

Death itself ( the actual crossing over or the last breath ) does not bother me as much as long drawn out suffering and wondering of what will become of my children if i pass while they are still young also loosing loved ones and the pain and suffering that i see from family and friends of the recently deceased. It is in my thoughts almost every dam day!! I got a call this morning that they rushed my dad to hospital and as i type i am waiting to here from my sister. I do not function well at times like these and the thoughts ( 100's of them ) run through my brain and i hate it.

[Im-Suffering]

Death itself ( the actual crossing over or the last breath ) does not bother me as much as long drawn out suffering and wondering of what will become of my children if i pass while they are still young also loosing loved ones and the pain and suffering that i see from family and friends of the recently deceased. It is in my thoughts almost every dam day!! I got a call this morning that they rushed my dad to hospital and as i type i am waiting to here from my sister. I do not function well at times like these and the thoughts ( 100's of them ) run through my brain and i hate it.

Let me stress, thoughts don't mean much. (In the sense that) paying attention to your thinking is meant to uncover false beliefs John. That's how you truly change.

Changing or manipulating your thoughts, without changing the belief is like picking out weeds without the root, right?

Thoughts won't kill you, or assist your dad in his hard times unless they are backed by beliefs of healing, the belief in healing, sending love and light.....

Uncover the beliefs that trigger fear thoughts...but instead of hating thoughts (natural extensions of beliefs) find the belief and work on it....

Could you? Especially now, everything is triggering you....not because life is against you, but because it's with you, helping you at every turn to get ...to....work.

In greater terms it's all about you. All of the outside drama is all there to help you sort yourself out. One day that will click.

Lastly, changing a belief will have immediate effects, changing both your perception and the outside world, instantly. So called health miracles are solely due to a belief change. So you can see how a different belief could actually help your father. Change your belief first, and then it will spread to him, see. His highest chance, is a swift belief change....you see....your fear is not helpful..You must understand..

Now I don't tell you this for you to beat yourself up, you do enough of that alone. I say these things to raise your awareness and springboard any natural abilities (intuitive and conscious) to help correct your path. Should you desire that.

Anyhow, come back to this post when things in the outside world settle down.

[JohnC]

I try, i really do but it took me a lifetime to get to this point of "crappy" thinking so it's a bit difficult for me.

[Im-Suffering]

I try, i really do but it took me a lifetime to get to this point of "crappy" thinking so it's a bit difficult for me.

Beliefs...the thinking follows the belief. If anything take that away for someday soon.

The thought "I'm afraid should I die what will be of my children" only exists because of the belief behind it. That thought is not the belief itself, but an offshoot..

I do hope dad will be ok today..I send love and light his way, to accompany his own beneficial healing process.

[JohnC]

Thanks Im-Suffering. We were to have a Christmas party tomorrow.

[AliasEQ]

Since this is a universal fear, I will do a quick reading, for truth. Let's begin:

I will tell you, and you can believe me, that birth is much more of a shock. That is what you are remembering. The physical environment is harsh, and a sharp immediate contrast for the soul. Along with an almost deafening thrust into a concrete environment ( physical senses come alive) along with an instant memory loss. (To a degree). The creature must now utterly trust, you see. Like death, there is always a letting go. But the baby (soul) must deal now with its physical brain, and limitations. (Undeveloped) so the fear and trust are similarly acute. The baby must be held, see? That is paramount. (Mom). (Underline twice)

Anxiety (as a future 'disorder' or challenge) if destined, or in human terms 'in the cards', begins now.

Once the soul has committed to it, of course. Often you have still born or conditions where the soul has simply changed its mind, or the womb experience was enough. You can back out if the life is to be difficult. There is a multitude of reasons in any case.

You are afraid of the circumstances of death, you understand, not death itself. Because there is faint remembrance with unpleasant conditions. I'll use your Titanic, as a fearful event that some carry, you see. Where a death was thrust upon them, along with trauma and shock. Or a soldier in the front lines. Those last moments contain severe trauma, with little time for acceptance. Interestingly, you will find, those that handle anxiety best, do so by utter acceptance..and so acceptance is an important watchword, in any area of life or death, or issue.

With death, you prepare psychologically. Generally, people know. A time of letting go, surrender, even excitement as the individual looks forward to a new life, New body, where the current one may be worn or damaged. You can liken this to the man on death row, who has acquiesced quietly, peacefully, eating his last meal.

In greater truth, which you will not understand, no one dies unless they have chosen it. There you will find much thought has been given to death,and for quite some time. There of course he will be taught (after death)to value (any) life, and see the error of his way. Even those with a long terminal illness will be enlightened to their responsibility and have the illness traced back to their thoughts, until the connection is made.

No need to read any books.

Just pay attention. No more is needed on this unless you wish me to give more. Or you are welcome to ignore this post and go on as you have. Pretending ignorance.

Interesting. Birth might be more traumatic and scary, but one of the "features" with birth, as you mentioned: memory loss. I don't remember it, it feels as if I haven't experienced it. Death, I'm going to experience it. That's why right now, death seems more scary. But looking at it from a general perspective, not from my perspective, then yes, birth sounds more traumatic.

Agree with you, acceptance is important when it comes to pretty much everything. It's not always easy to accept though.

Preparing for death, knowing you will die in a matter of time, like the prisoners on death row is scary. But they're forced to accept it I guess.

"no one dies unless they have chosen it". Yep, I don't understand this. Explain.

I might've misunderstood you somewhere, my english isn't the best.

Thanks

[AliasEQ]

Yeah I don't think they die die, just come closest out of anyone alive to actual death. For the most part, the process of leaving seems quite pleasant, before they're brought back. Blissful, actually.

You're scared of the actual moment when you cross over from this form of consciousness to whatever's next? I guess you'll be in a completely different state you won't really get much chance to comprehend it. I kind of imagine it'll be like the moment you fall asleep. We do it every night, but nobody ever remembers falling asleep. Nobody can pinpoint the exact moment or recollect the few seconds when they head off to dreamland the next day. We're already one foot into a different form of consciousness, that's why. Passing on strikes me as similar.

I'm good anyway! Not enjoying winter much though. How about you?

Hm, yeah, makes sense. We probably won't comprehend it.

Yep, same here - I hate winter lol.