Anxiety and Life

[lighthouse43]

For a long time, I have been told not to worry, are you nervous, and there is nothing wrong with you. It is hard to hear that for a chunck of my lifetime. I never knew I had anxiety or even knew what anxiety was. I researched more about it to figure out why I felt the way I did. I indeed did have anxiety. Middle school and high school really brought about anxiety and stress. I was nervous about tests, class discussions, projects, where I would sit in class and at lunch, and much more. I always worried about everything and about every little thing. I always had a hard time making friends and it was even worse in high school. i had some people I knew from class that I would sit with but I never really hadfriends that really knew me. I did not want to tell them about my messed up life especially at home.I also worried tests, grades, my weight, the way I looked, friends, and more. I got my first job while in high school which made me worry more. I had to talk to strangers and I never could talk as well as others. Stress got worse in high school and I got more headaches, and other problems because of stress. My last year of highschool was lonesome. I did not go to prom or did any activities. I didn't even want to go up to get my diploma. I did go to college for a little bit but that increased my stress. I didn't know anyone and worried about my classes, tests, and grades. SO I left college. I had a year off that worsened everything. I had to get a job to pay loans and bills. What was hard were the headaches, stomach problems and more caused by my stress and worrying. I have gotten better since then but I have missed a lot of work and I don't know what to do. Another problem I have is something that is hard to explain. I can't even tell my family because they wont understand and wont let me quit my job. I feel as if life isn't real like it feels like a daze. I go to work and it doesn't feel real. I can go home and it would feel like I didn't work or go to college. I have felt this way since highschool and has worsened when I was in college and left and currently now. I don't know what to do. i will be mocked from my family if I try and get help. If I do go on medication I know they will disaprove. I feel as if I need medication becuase nothing works. My stress and anxiety are bad but they dont understand that all of my symptoms are the result of my stress and nervousness. I have been told by a dentist to stopp stressing because it affects my mouth. I have also been told by my eye doctor too. My family just doesn't understant. I feel like I can't stop and help myself. I need to work for bills but I have to call out when I don't feel well. I know that my work talks behind my back and probably are waiting to fire me. I don't know what to do. I would rather work from home because I do need money for bills. What could I do? I feel like life isn't worth living anymore because nothing gets better. I try to think positive but I am always brought down. What should I do? I have no one.

[gypsylee]

For a long time, I have been told not to worry, are you nervous, and there is nothing wrong with you. It is hard to hear that for a chunck of my lifetime. I never knew I had anxiety or even knew what anxiety was. I researched more about it to figure out why I felt the way I did. I indeed did have anxiety. Middle school and high school really brought about anxiety and stress. I was nervous about tests, class discussions, projects, where I would sit in class and at lunch, and much more. I always worried about everything and about every little thing. I always had a hard time making friends and it was even worse in high school. i had some people I knew from class that I would sit with but I never really hadfriends that really knew me. I did not want to tell them about my messed up life especially at home.I also worried tests, grades, my weight, the way I looked, friends, and more. I got my first job while in high school which made me worry more. I had to talk to strangers and I never could talk as well as others. Stress got worse in high school and I got more headaches, and other problems because of stress. My last year of highschool was lonesome. I did not go to prom or did any activities. I didn't even want to go up to get my diploma. I did go to college for a little bit but that increased my stress. I didn't know anyone and worried about my classes, tests, and grades. SO I left college. I had a year off that worsened everything. I had to get a job to pay loans and bills. What was hard were the headaches, stomach problems and more caused by my stress and worrying. I have gotten better since then but I have missed a lot of work and I don't know what to do. Another problem I have is something that is hard to explain. I can't even tell my family because they wont understand and wont let me quit my job. I feel as if life isn't real like it feels like a daze. I go to work and it doesn't feel real. I can go home and it would feel like I didn't work or go to college. I have felt this way since highschool and has worsened when I was in college and left and currently now. I don't know what to do. i will be mocked from my family if I try and get help. If I do go on medication I know they will disaprove. I feel as if I need medication becuase nothing works. My stress and anxiety are bad but they dont understand that all of my symptoms are the result of my stress and nervousness. I have been told by a dentist to stopp stressing because it affects my mouth. I have also been told by my eye doctor too. My family just doesn't understant. I feel like I can't stop and help myself. I need to work for bills but I have to call out when I don't feel well. I know that my work talks behind my back and probably are waiting to fire me. I don't know what to do. I would rather work from home because I do need money for bills. What could I do? I feel like life isn't worth living anymore because nothing gets better. I try to think positive but I am always brought down. What should I do? I have no one.

Hi lighthouse43,

When you talk about your family, do you mean your parents, siblings etc, or your partner and children (if you have those)? Either way it sounds like they are really holding you back from getting help.

If you have all this responsibility of working and paying bills and so on, then surely you have the right to look after your own health. You're obviously old enough to go to a doctor by yourself, so maybe you don't even need to tell them?

Anyway, you've taken the first step by posting on here :) You don't have to live such a miserable life. And everything you describe here is quite normal for a person with anxiety and depression.

Hang in there and keep talking to people - even if it's just on here.

All the best,
Gypsy :)