snowberry
11-27-2014, 05:42 PM
Hi forum, hope everyone is doing okay.
My anxiety has been a lot better in the last few months, particularly in terms of panic symptoms. I feel I've made great progress and I'm less scared of symptoms now. Occasionally I still get new symptoms which can give me an initial jolt of fear, but I've become much better at reasoning with myself and all in all I'm feeling a lot better.
Still. There's one problem, and tbh I've had it since I was a kid.
It's hard to describe, as it's not exactly social anxiety. I don't fear talking to people or socialising. No, my fear is along the lines of crime (committed on me or loved ones - or heck, anyone), dangerous situations, terrorism, accidents, etc.
The last few nights I've been lying in bed and I simply can't switch off. My brain cycles through all the possible crimes I could be a victim of, or the terrible things that might happen if I leave home tomorrow. I have a job and thankfully I do still leave the house without any real trouble. Once I'm outside, I usually feel more confident.
Still, this fear, these what-ifs, are becoming obsessive and I'm scared I might become paranoid or something. I really don't WANT to think about these things, but it's like someone left the TV on in the room in my head and it's stuck on one channel and I can't find the remote.
I'm thinking it's a form of OCD, but it's really getting me down. I know I can't control every outcome and no one can guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen to me (and guaranteeing the safety of others is even more difficult), but I have no desire to go out unless I have to, and now that it's winter and the stupid daylight savings crap happened it gets darker much earlier and I have even less desire to go out. My mother proposed going shopping to a big shopping center on Saturday but I got a twisty feeling in my gut thinking of all the crap that could happen, taking the train, being out in the dark, visiting what is likely a potential terrorist target...
Looking at the bright side, I'm not agoraphobic so thankfully I can leave the house and have a job or buy groceries or whatever. But I just want to stop obsessing about the what-ifs. :(
Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how do/did you cope with it? I've tried meditation and, while I can feel that it is beneficial, after four months I am not getting better at it (I'm getting worse, actually,) and I think I might be ADD or whatever because I get distracted after only one breath. :(
My anxiety has been a lot better in the last few months, particularly in terms of panic symptoms. I feel I've made great progress and I'm less scared of symptoms now. Occasionally I still get new symptoms which can give me an initial jolt of fear, but I've become much better at reasoning with myself and all in all I'm feeling a lot better.
Still. There's one problem, and tbh I've had it since I was a kid.
It's hard to describe, as it's not exactly social anxiety. I don't fear talking to people or socialising. No, my fear is along the lines of crime (committed on me or loved ones - or heck, anyone), dangerous situations, terrorism, accidents, etc.
The last few nights I've been lying in bed and I simply can't switch off. My brain cycles through all the possible crimes I could be a victim of, or the terrible things that might happen if I leave home tomorrow. I have a job and thankfully I do still leave the house without any real trouble. Once I'm outside, I usually feel more confident.
Still, this fear, these what-ifs, are becoming obsessive and I'm scared I might become paranoid or something. I really don't WANT to think about these things, but it's like someone left the TV on in the room in my head and it's stuck on one channel and I can't find the remote.
I'm thinking it's a form of OCD, but it's really getting me down. I know I can't control every outcome and no one can guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen to me (and guaranteeing the safety of others is even more difficult), but I have no desire to go out unless I have to, and now that it's winter and the stupid daylight savings crap happened it gets darker much earlier and I have even less desire to go out. My mother proposed going shopping to a big shopping center on Saturday but I got a twisty feeling in my gut thinking of all the crap that could happen, taking the train, being out in the dark, visiting what is likely a potential terrorist target...
Looking at the bright side, I'm not agoraphobic so thankfully I can leave the house and have a job or buy groceries or whatever. But I just want to stop obsessing about the what-ifs. :(
Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how do/did you cope with it? I've tried meditation and, while I can feel that it is beneficial, after four months I am not getting better at it (I'm getting worse, actually,) and I think I might be ADD or whatever because I get distracted after only one breath. :(