How is it possible

[equuleus]

To solve anxiety and panic attacks if you are just too damn afraid to actually talk to someone?? Why is asking for help so petrifying? Don't even know how to begin

[PanicCured]

To solve anxiety and panic attacks if you are just too damn afraid to actually talk to someone?? Why is asking for help so petrifying? Don't even know how to begin

Man up and face the music! You are letting body chemicals dictate your life. Don't fall into the helpless trap. Simply get the information you need to get anxiety free and follow that path. That is all you need to do. Don't fall into self pity. Harden up and move forward. Anxiety is a bluff, you got to out bluff the bluff.

Read how I went from anxiety to anxiety free then get on the healing path and don't look back: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?8633-Techniques-I-Used-to-Overcome-My-Panic-Anxiety-Disorder

[equuleus]

Ohh right that's why....... Reactions like that.... If only it were that easy to just "man up". I would of already done that. You have no idea how I live my life. But thank you for confirming my answer for me.

[h_rock]

I think PanicCured is right and wrong here. Right in what he/she's saying but perhaps wrong with the delivery.

Telling someone they need to snap out of it, or pull themselves together rarely works. But there is some truth in it.

If you just let the anxiety overrun you and don't stand up and do what is required despite the way you feel then you'll likely never feel much better - that's when you do just end up feeling self pity.

I've always said recovery takes 3 things: dedication, knowledge and time

You must have the desire and determination to feel better and be able to push yourself to face the problem head on (dedication). You must understand how your current thinking processes work and why they cause you to feel they way you do and how to learn better thought processes and to see that anxiety/panic only exists because of your fear of it (knowledge). That you must give it time to do this, that there will be set backs along the way, but if you just give up at the first hurdle you'll end up back at square one again, recovery is not a linear path (time).

It seems to me that if the fear is so much that you can't even talk to someone you first need to work on your thoughts and feelings which create this. You have to learn how to understand them and see them for what they are, which is a lie. Remember, the person you go to talk to will not judge you in anyway, it's likely they've seen it a hundred times before.

Or you jump in with two feet, you go see someone, and let the panic and anxiety hit you, understand it cannot hurt you and once out the other side you can then talk to them.

The worst thing you can do is sit about worrying about and hoping someone on a forum has the magic answer.

You are the answer, your thoughts and actions make you feel the way you do and only you can change them.

Good luck

Hugo

[PanicCured]

Ohh right that's why....... Reactions like that.... If only it were that easy to just "man up". I would of already done that. You have no idea how I live my life. But thank you for confirming my answer for me.

I mean man up and initiate. Motivate. Nobody can cure your anxiety but you. You can't get rid of anxiety just like that, but you can get yourself on the healing path just like that. Just initiate the first spark and keep moving forward is what I mean. You have 2 choices: Keep complaining how crappy your life is and get nowhere asking why your life sucks so bad, or start asking how you can achieve results and then go through the necessary steps. I know because I have been where you are and that is how I did it, and everyone that has got past their anxiety will agree with me. Please read the link I sent you.

[gypsylee]

To solve anxiety and panic attacks if you are just too damn afraid to actually talk to someone?? Why is asking for help so petrifying? Don't even know how to begin

Well you have begun by posting on here :) I think one of the hardest parts is admitting to yourself that you have a problem. I don't think you have to go see a professional right this minute to start helping your anxiety. The courage to do that will come.

Be kind to yourself and don't add more pain by beating yourself up. Your nervous system is out of whack, which causes your mind to race and get panicky, which messes with the nervous system even more. It's a vicious circle.

Try and look after yourself and take it easy.

All the best..
Gypsy

[Ryker]

Knowing you need to ask questions is a good start.

For many years I just 'lived' and life was rubbish and I hated everything. I wasn't even capable of knowing I could be different.

As soon as I started asking the questions I was on the way to being fixed. The resources are all out there for free.

[jessed03]

When you have severe anxiety, you have to accept that the only way you're going to get better is by winning ugly. The process, from what I can remember, involved suffering from sickening levels of apprehension while pushing myself, experiencing intoxicating levels of self-loathing and going through so much failure that it'd drive me to suicide if I ever dwelt on it.

But you keep going. You accept the process is an ugly one, a dirty one. Your victories come not in the form of success, but attendance. You got up, you did what you needed to. Period. You won. Doesn't matter what the outcome is. And you learn to live in that mindset.

That's what Panic meant from his man up comment. He doesn't mean get over the illness cos your a wimp, he means get ready to take a few punches. Rile yourself up if need be. Or calm yourself if that helps. But either way, prepare for a scrap that will involve many more unfavorubale moments than glorified ones. Once you've prepared yourself mentally for the fight, you're ready to begin.

[Robert Tressell]

When you have severe anxiety, you have to accept that the only way you're going to get better is by winning ugly. The process, from what I can remember, involved suffering from sickening levels of apprehension while pushing myself, experiencing intoxicating levels of self-loathing and going through so much failure that it'd drive me to suicide if I ever dwelt on it.

But you keep going. You accept the process is an ugly one, a dirty one. Your victories come not in the form of success, but attendance. You got up, you did what you needed to. Period. You won. Doesn't matter what the outcome is. And you learn to live in that mindset.

That's what Panic meant from his man up comment. He doesn't mean get over the illness cos your a wimp, he means get ready to take a few punches. Rile yourself up if need be. Or calm yourself if that helps. But either way, prepare for a scrap that will involve many more unfavorubale moments than glorified ones. Once you've prepared yourself mentally for the fight, you're ready to begin.

That really is great advice. The anticipation is ALWAYS worse than the actual event or situation you fear. Boy is it hard to go through with it, you literally feel sick and your mind urges you to abandon all hope and go back to bed.

But after going to that meeting you dread, or to the party, or to the shops, and seeing that you CAN do it, that's the strongest way to replenish your confidence bank.

I use beta blockers I must admit but they have boosted my confidence as they do reduce the shakes etc.

[NixonRulz]

All really good advice here. The road can be a difficult one at first but gradually eases

I went the path as Robert just above. Not beta blockers but a benzo and soon after a long term SSRI (Effexor)

The meds got my mind straight to where I could feel quite normal again before taking the road to healing

It made it so much easier and actually, many people don't even look for the cure after meds. They just feel that much better

No right or wrong answer with that. Just preference

I wanted to know all the answers on what anxiety was and the effect it had on me

Learning that made me stop fearing most everything that ever bothered me

Hope you find your way soon

[jessed03]

That really is great advice. The anticipation is ALWAYS worse than the actual event or situation you fear. Boy is it hard to go through with it, you literally feel sick and your mind urges you to abandon all hope and go back to bed.

But after going to that meeting you dread, or to the party, or to the shops, and seeing that you CAN do it, that's the strongest way to replenish your confidence bank.

I use beta blockers I must admit but they have boosted my confidence as they do reduce the shakes etc.

Now there's a face from the past.

How you doing, Robert?

[Robert Tressell]

Now there's a face from the past.

How you doing, Robert?

hi Jesse

I'm well thanks mate, still struggling but I feel a bit better than earlier this year.

Still resisting the antidepressants and on a course of high intensity CBT which does seem to be helping, if nothing else by allowing me to talk openly about the anxiety I've repressed for over 40 years.

The voices of doubt are still there, but i'm up for the fight, I know i'm ill and on the long road to recovery!

Beta blockers have helped me cope with the signs of my anxiety ( shakes, sweats etc ) and I've a bit more in the confidence tank thanks to them.

I hope all is well with you too Jesse and wish you a happy healthy 2015

[Kixxi]

To solve anxiety and panic attacks if you are just too damn afraid to actually talk to someone?? Why is asking for help so petrifying? Don't even know how to begin

I really know what you are going through. I was to afraid to even speak up during a panic attack in the beginning. I made myself suffer without any therapy for way to long. Don't forget, you are very brave and you been dealing with panic attacks for so long. Even the bravest of the brave experience them, for example soldiers coming back from war. What you have is nothing to be embarrassed about and you deserve help. Nobody will judge you.

[jessed03]

hi Jesse

I'm well thanks mate, still struggling but I feel a bit better than earlier this year.

Still resisting the antidepressants and on a course of high intensity CBT which does seem to be helping, if nothing else by allowing me to talk openly about the anxiety I've repressed for over 40 years.

The voices of doubt are still there, but i'm up for the fight, I know i'm ill and on the long road to recovery!

Beta blockers have helped me cope with the signs of my anxiety ( shakes, sweats etc ) and I've a bit more in the confidence tank thanks to them.

I hope all is well with you too Jesse and wish you a happy healthy 2015

Good stuff Robert, and thank you! Same to you, naturally.

Sorry for the thread hijack OP. Just wanted to ask you one last question. How's everything on the job front? I know that was a bit of a problem last year-ish.

[Robert Tressell]

Good stuff Robert, and thank you! Same to you, naturally.

Sorry for the thread hijack OP. Just wanted to ask you one last question. How's everything on the job front? I know that was a bit of a problem last year-ish.

Thanks for asking Jesse.

Well, after being made redundant in Oct '13 I started an new job in January, which was very difficult for me as anxiety was sky high and confidence low.

To be honest, I took a pay cut with that job that made ends difficult to meet, so I found and started a great job in the Oil industry that proved challenging ( lots of learning and high level presentations, the beta blockers help with this and it's been a struggle to learn new skills as my concentration can be poor ).

But.....As you probably know the oil price has crashed in the last few months, which is great for people filling up cars but very bad for people who work in the oil industry as it means cutbacks and shelving of new projects and investment.

Consequently our order book is weak and there have already been job losses one of our factories, please god I don't have to endure redundancy again this year!

I'm trying to stay positive but uncertainty is a major feeder for my anxiety, so i'm faced with another challenge!

Add to this our landlord has just hiked our rent up and we can't find a property to buy for sensible money in our area, so feel a bit trapped homewise as well!