Moving to the US soon and anxious about it

[cynic]

Hi everyone,

I am very new to this type of community. In fact, I am never really into this. But where I am from--the Philippines--only a few people know that they have anxiety problems. It is pretty uncommon to consult psychiatrist. There is a lot of stigma associated with it. So, I guess, what I am saying is, there are very, very few people I could talk to about my problem.

Last year, I was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder with anxiety and depression. It was such a horrible experience for me. I am a very happy person and having to go through it, I thought I was losing it. It was something really alien to me. I am 29 years old and I've never really had any mental health issues. I went through psychotherapy and still on meds--Lexapro. But a very small dose. I also have a very, very supportive network of family and friends. Right now, I think I am perfectly fine.

I am moving to the US this September for my graduate studies and I am very anxious about it. I think I have not fully recovered and I am afraid that I might experience something similar when I'm there. I don't know if my adjustment disorder has turned into something else. I hope not. I really like my psychiatrist right now and I have a difficult time trusting doctors especially those who just push you meds.

I hope this community can help me with the transition. I feel weird right now.

[cynic]

I really need your thoughts. Moving will be such a big change for me. I am very well traveled and my work allows me to be exposed to different cultures. But still, there's this apprehension that my moods will become unstable because of the move. And I don't think I can afford that since I'll be studying and all.

Also, my worry is that doctors will have a different "cultural" approach to dealing with anxiety in the US, something I am not used to. I don't know if this makes sense at all and I hope you could enlighten me.

Thanks.

[cynic]

44 views and not a single reply. disappointment.

[sarrah]

I agree.. Mine got 200+ without a single hello!!!!! :o

I will be more then happy to talk to you and just be someone to vent to if you want. 8)

Where in the US are you coming to? What are your biggest worries? What island do you live on? Do you have a large family? My aunt's family lives on Manilla (sp)?

[cynic]

Hello Sarrah,

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate it. Really.

I live in Manila. I'll be moving to Southern California--Orange County.

I have a lot of fears because of the move. Of course, the first one would be not having the support group that I have right now--my family and friends. They were my rock when I went through a horrible experience last year. I have an extended family and we are really, really super close. And my friends are amazing. I really do not mind the subtle symptoms of anxiety, but my biggest concern is my sleep. I have all these negative thoughts in my head--like what if this or that happens to me again. I don't know. I can't explain. I'm sure you understand.

My worry is that I have trouble trusting doctors and I am kind of strongly opposed to taking meds really (although I am contradicting myself here since I am still on Lexapro and I had taken Clonazepam before, as prescribed by my psychiatrist--the time when symptoms were already unbearable). Well, let's just say, I'm not comfortable taking any other meds besides those two, not even sleeping pills.

So there. Those are just some of my worries right now. I would really love to hear your story about anxiety. There are very few people in the Philippines who have such problem. Well, maybe they don't know it yet or they won't admit. As I said, there's a stigma here on mental health issues.

Thanks really for your message. :)

[Lulu]

Hi Cynic and Sarrah :-)

Like you I'm opposed to taking meds although I have in the past. Right now I'm trying to manage my anxiety symptoms on my own with exercise, right diet etc. Positive thinking is hard for me right now as I'm losing sleep.

All I can tell you is that with this kind of condition it's important to do things you're scared of rather than let them take over your life. Easier said than done I know. But once you let these feelings stop you from living your life how you should you're done for.

I live in England, my brother is paying for me to go to New York in November and already I'm panicking at the thought of it. But I'm determined I'm going to do it, otherwise i will forever be beating myself up over it.

It's nice to talk to people that feel the same way :-)

[cynic]

hello lulu,

thanks for the reply. and i am glad there's someone here who's also experiencing my anxiety about moving.

and that is true what you said. when you're losing sleep, positive thinking is really hard. some of my friends have been very supportive but the more they say, "it's all in your head, think positive. you'll be alright," the more i feel bad about myself. sometimes, i feel i'm bringing them down coz i talk about how i'm feeling ALL THE TIME. that's probably not true coz they're great listeners.

i've been going to the gym, eating healthy, etc. but my anxiety made me go back to an old, disgusting habit--smoking. i quit a few years. does that aggravate the situation?

how are you coping with sleeplessness?

[Lulu]

Ah I also went back to smoking. It ain't good for the situation I don't think, it's more of a stimulant than a relaxer really. But to be honest at the moment I can't put the effort in to giving that up as well.

The sleeplessness is hard work for sure, I think to myself I could cope better if I got a decent nights sleep, but the more I think that the less sleep I get. I go to bed shattered but the minute I get in there ping I'm awake, or I'll fall asleep really easy and wake up an hour later and that's it. Oddly i don't panic when I'm in bed or feel anxious I just can't seem to get my mind to switch off and let me sleep.

Don't feel bad about talking about how you feel all the time, I've found that this really really helps me. But I know it's hard for other people when they have never experienced the anxiety themselves. It doesn't matter how many people tell you that it's all in your head, christ If i had a penny for every time that's been said to me, I'd be a rich woman! I am well aware that I do it to myself, not what I really need is for someone to come along and give me the insight in to how to stop it.

I can tell you Cynic that it will get better. I'm having a hard time right now myself but for the last 5 years or so I've been ok. I've been through worse times, like what you yourself seem to have experienced. The first time is always the worst, because you really do feel like you're losing your mind.

I can also tell you that I spend too much of my life being depressed over teh way I am and fighting it. Instead of saying ok, I'm obviously the anxious type now lets try and work out how best to deal with it. Just keep telling yourself you will overcome this, don't let it overcome you. Ok so maybe you will have this in the background but I truly believe it's possible to reach the point where you'll relax more. And I beleive this because I have been through hard times, and got better. 6 years ago when I was 26 i thought I was losing it completely. I'd watch other people with jealousy wondering how they managed to be so happy and cope so well. I lived my life in a fog. Walking my daughter up to school was a trauma, and I'd cry for hours afterwards. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat but I eventually got there.

This is not my best time at the moment it has to be said, but I'm moving about my daily activities as best I can. Someday's I'm ok, others I'm consumed by anxiety and panic attacks.

Hope this helps, keep chatting if it helps. Oh and tell me if I talk too much, it's a nasty habit of mine! :-)