jhoutx
11-16-2014, 06:34 PM
I am at my limits. Dealing with anxiety since a young age.
I am 39 with a family and run a very successful corporation as ceo. Stress and anxiety has surfaced again but in a way I am struggling to deal with.
Scared of medication so I won't take any my psych is wanting me to take. I am turning into a extreme hypochondriac. Everything is making me sick and I can't see it's just the anxiety. Although I do have some hormone issues (testosterone and questionable adrenals) My life is spiraling out of control. Feel like I am heading down the path of Howard Hughes. I fear everything. I feel medications are going to make me dependent and the withdraws will be horrible.
I have had this anxiety before at this level when my sister died. Now my Dad past away 3 years ago and I am thinking the same crap is hitting me again.
There are times when I get so angry that I push through the anxiety just to know I have not completely given up, but at the same time I have bouts of extreme anger outbursts that scare my wife. Non are directed at them, but for example today I was trying to cook after not eating all day or drinking anything. Blood-sugar out of whack. I ended up burning myself by accident and then went ape sh!t on a towel drawer near me. Ripping it out and smashing it on the floor. I never do this, but today I just snapped.
I had this food allergy testing done a couple years ago and it showed I am sensitive to a lot of foods. Ever since then, I am scared to eat much except the same crap every day. Nutrition is getting to be a concern. I can't tell if its the food making me feel bad or anxiety.
I really don't know whats wrong with me. I am scared. I want to get better. I want to take medication. I want to be able to make choices and not be ruled by anxiety. I want to travel and experience life.
I am 39 with a family and run a very successful corporation as ceo. Stress and anxiety has surfaced again but in a way I am struggling to deal with.
Scared of medication so I won't take any my psych is wanting me to take. I am turning into a extreme hypochondriac. Everything is making me sick and I can't see it's just the anxiety. Although I do have some hormone issues (testosterone and questionable adrenals) My life is spiraling out of control. Feel like I am heading down the path of Howard Hughes. I fear everything. I feel medications are going to make me dependent and the withdraws will be horrible.
I have had this anxiety before at this level when my sister died. Now my Dad past away 3 years ago and I am thinking the same crap is hitting me again.
There are times when I get so angry that I push through the anxiety just to know I have not completely given up, but at the same time I have bouts of extreme anger outbursts that scare my wife. Non are directed at them, but for example today I was trying to cook after not eating all day or drinking anything. Blood-sugar out of whack. I ended up burning myself by accident and then went ape sh!t on a towel drawer near me. Ripping it out and smashing it on the floor. I never do this, but today I just snapped.
I had this food allergy testing done a couple years ago and it showed I am sensitive to a lot of foods. Ever since then, I am scared to eat much except the same crap every day. Nutrition is getting to be a concern. I can't tell if its the food making me feel bad or anxiety.
I really don't know whats wrong with me. I am scared. I want to get better. I want to take medication. I want to be able to make choices and not be ruled by anxiety. I want to travel and experience life.