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EllieNor2014
11-11-2014, 11:08 AM
Hello there!

I've been dealing with anxiety with some time, and now that I am in a new environment to start graduate school, I am relapsing again.

I am not really sure what is wrong with me, but often I would feel to stressed out to get anything done or to meet new people. I am struggling academically and I feel like a failure. I am alone most of the time. My mental deterioration is also having an impact on my physical health. For instance, this morning, I woke up but I could not get out of bed. I felt like I could not breathe and my stomach really hurt. Tomorrow I've decided to see a psychiatrist to see if they can figure our what is wrong with me. I've been through this before when I first started university as a transfer student. Now it is happening again. Anxiety takes up a lot of my time and energy. By the time I have finished dealing with my mental state, I am often too tired to do anything else. I feel like everything is going out of control. I am not sure what to do. I really want to get better and I've been trying so hard. But now, here I am.

My family is already tired of hearing about my problems. They think I am too negative. I know that. I am sorry that they have to hear it. I really don't want to be a burden to them. They are sick of me. Frankly speaking, I am sick of myself, too. It's been so very hard.

But I've not given up.
There is still hope and I intend to find it.

I don't understand why the path to recovery, to happiness, to success is so hard. How does other people do it? Why can't I do it as well?

I am sorry if my post is a little bit too negative. I am not in a good mental state right now.
I hope I will be better soon. : )

To end this post on a happier note, here's another smiley face for all those who are struggling right now. : )
It may be hard and recovery may seem impossible, but we are still here and we are still strong enough to fight.

All the best.