Relationship Anxiety.

[natgirl]

Not too sure if this really fits on this page but its about a relationship so i guess it does.

My boyfriend and i were together for a year then we broke up, it worst time of my life and it was a whole year until we finally got back together. Everything has been great apart from the last two weekends were we have had horrendous arguements. one of them even caused a riff in his family. So i'm giving him space because thats what he wants. Three days of no contact and i am seeing him wednesday night for what is supposed to be a normal night in. Now my anxiety is going nuts over this i'm obsessing over the fact when he sees his friends in the time hes not talking to me they may convince him to break up with me. I'm even worried about the text i'm going to be sending him on wednesday discussing the meeting times wondering how he will be with me. I feel sick at the thought of it all and i know for the next three days im not going to be able to concentrate at work, yet i know this is the only thing i can do to have a chance at saving my relationship. Also on saturday he is going out without me and i am staying home and i'm going feel so anxious in that time and its not even that i don't trust him i just can't explain it.

[SADguy]

Perhaps you should tell him that the situation is stressing you out and you need help to figure out your next move should be. You need to be able to live without him. You shouldn't rely on him for everything. I hope you are able to get this thing figured out.

[provize]

Anxiety like this is hard to deal with, and I know exactly how do you feel. But you have to understand that you both have different interests and hobbies in life and the both sides as you and him, need to accept it. It all revolves around psychology. I know it may sound cruel but, as you both can't figure it out, the relationship may turn into stalking, and the both sides cannot have the peace what is needed. But as for it, one of the best help you can find from is from a pschyologist

I also know this is an old Thread, but I hope someone reads it, especially you.

Best of luck, natgirl!

[provize]

I may be a person, who likes to post my posts multiple times, but, I am quite sure that, after you wrote it down, you felt better by yourself also.

[RuminatorGirl]

Hi NatGirl! I can 150% relate to what you are describing... and it is torture! Not even kidding, I can count at least 19052 scenarios that I play out in my head when my boyfriend doesn't answer a text for a few hours, or if he is out with friends, or if he cancels plans. To make matters worse, he is suffering from depression and he pulls away almost all the time and even though he assures me it isn't about me, it really feels like it is!

One thing that has helped me with my ridiculously obsessive (And let's face it, annoying!) thoughts is to take a piece of paper and draw a line down the center. On one side, I put the thoughts I am thinking are going on, and on the other side I put logical alternative scenarios - only you may really have to work to get yourself thinking in logical terms.

For instance, on the left side of my paper I may put "Thoughts" and write down "he's planning on leaving me, he's having lunch with his ex gf, he's on his way to my house to break up with me" etc... but then on the other side I may put, "He is in a meeting, he is driving and cannot get to the phone, he is tired or working on an important project."

Sometimes, writing down the obsessive thoughts on paper and forcing yourself to consider a more logical scenario directly next to it has a way of freeing you.

Message me if you want to talk more... I'm a chronic relationship anxiety-er.

[danielhermanson]

Give him space to cool down and so do you. Trust in a relationship is the most important thing and should be given and received. Think about this, if he want to cheat on you he will and you wouldn't find out but thinking about this all the time will not change anything. Let him decide if he choose to cheat on you or love you because all you can do is to show him respect and love him back. What he wants to do with his life regarding you is his choice.

Over thinking this will cause more harm then good so try and calm yourself, think about all the good things you had together and you will get back and continue your love story.

Take care!

[smartscrutiny]

Hey natgirl,

Talking to a therapist who can help you evaluate your feelings objectively can be an enormous help. Hope things are working out well for you!