what am i to do

[flower29]

Hi everybody my name is flower. I joined this forum because I just don't know what else to do the anxiety is so bad that i have taken 4 days off of work. I am a teacher and I didn't leave any lesson plans. so the kids will problably go nuts I feel guilty but I just can't handle the pressure. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder biut it feel more like generalized anxiety disorder and I have had schizophrenic episodes. help! :cry:

[Bridgie]

Sorry to hear it Flower. Have you seen a doctor lately? There are medications that can help with your disorders.

I understand your frustration. Sometimes I just think to myself, I can't deal with this work and pressure anymore! But somehow I keep on going, because someone has to pay the bills.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

:(

[Vikki]

Hello Flower, Please understand that you are not alone. Anxiety is one nasty thing to deal with. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I also was not able to make it to work. I thought I was going crazy cuz I really didn't know what was wrong with me...I just couldn't deal with anything outside of the house anymore. I couldn't tell myself that work was a safe place anymore...I actually stopped living.

Please don't do what I did. By reaching out you are taking a huge step toward taking back your life. Each small step will help in major ways.

Are you marriied? Do you have family close by? Have you talked to anyone else about the anxity? I'm not a doctor but just from reading a lot about anxiety it seems to accompany other illnesses like depression and maybe even bi-polar.

I recently got a prescription for Lorazepam that totally takes the edge off of the anxiety attachs, but still lets me function like I used to. Maybe you could try something like that.

Hang in there.
Vikki

[brickyard_red]

HI there flower and first let me say Welcome! I'm glad you're here! I'm sorry to hear that your anxiety is so bad right now. But, know that you are definately not alone in this. I know my anxiety has gone through the roof lately, I think it has something to do with the holidays. :? This time of year is very hard and stressful and when you are dealing with what you and the rest of us deal with, it just makes it worse.

Like Bridgie said, I hope you are staying in close contact with your dr. through this and there are meds. out there that will help. Know that we too are here to listen when you need an ear and you will never be judged or looked down upon for what you are feeling or what you have to say, k? We all love you here. :D Hang in there and keep us posted on how you're doing.

Cath :)

[flower29]

Hi everybody, thanks for replying to me i really feel good about that. to answer some of your questions I do have family around and they love me very much but it seems like they get annoyed when I complain about my anxiety. They don't understand what's wrong with me and I feel like a burden to them. plus I am not a good family member i forget everybodies birthday and when we are together I am not social with them. so I the outcast in the family. I haven't been to work in 4 days. and my mother just put me in a state of worry, because I am a teacher and she said that I would have to re connect with my children again now I am panicking about that i am worried that people are going to be talking about me behind my back cause i been out so long I am just going nuts right now.

[brickyard_red]

I don't think that you are going to have to reconnect with your students. It is far enough into the year that they are comfortable with you and will be able to fall right back into the routine of what you are used to. They will be glad you're back. :)

Maybe the Christmas break will be good for you. You can relax and try and deal with some of your anxiety. I"m sure you will do just fine and be back with your students real soon.

Cath :)

[flower29]

Thanks for you opinion its definitely what i needed to hear even if my mother was right it was dumb of her to tell me that knowing I am going to freak out about it. She doesn't think sometimes. NAyway you are always responding to me what is your situation?

[brickyard_red]

Hi there Flower. Hmmmmm, my situation. Well, I've always been shy for as long as I can remember. I mean shy to a painful extent. Then when I was 10 I went through a traumatic experience and that set me back even further. In my teens I started dealing with depression and took antidepressants up until I was in my early twenties.

I got married when I was 22 and have been happily married ever since. I started working at a nursery school right out of high school and worked there for 10 years and then quit to start a home daycare, but that didn't work so I've been a house wife up until this past Sept. when they called me and asked if I'd be interested is working the the school age group after school. So, I've been there two days a week in the afternoons since then. In Jan. I'll be there every afternoon, don't know how I'll do handling that, but I guess we'll find out, eh?

It seems that as I get older my anxiety is getting worse. I've been diagnosed with Social/General Anxiety with Panic Disorder and I have Agoraphobic tendacies. I'm taking Welbutrin and Buspar now on a regular basis and I have Xanax to take if I start to have a panic attack.

So, that is me in a nut shell. :) Hope I haven't bored you to tears. hehehe Let me know how you're doing and I'll respond as quickly as I can. Hang in there my friend.

Cath :)

[oobladi]

I'm sorry that your having a rough spell as I refer to them. Remember to take things one step at a time. I doubt that you will need to reconnect with your students. I know you are worried about what people think, but this time of year a lot of people miss work for the cold and the flu. I'm the outcast when it comes to family as well. I'll never live up to my parents expectations, especially my mothers. My goal is just to make it through the day and to have my children and husband know that they are the most important people in my life.