Alchenda
11-06-2014, 03:04 AM
Hey Everyone :) I am new to this forum, and I have been told to post my threat here.
I am one of four bride's maids at my best friend's wedding, and has been specifically asked by her to arrange her bachelorette party. Although social settings make me extremely nervous, I agreed to take the lead as no one else know her as well as I do.
Unfortunately I have forgotten how conservative her mother and the rest of her friends are. I have created a Whatsapp group to communicate with all the women invited to the bachelorettes to keep them informed and let them be involved if they wished to contribute.
I have made it clear that the party was intended to be sexual of nature. (Isn't that what most bachelorette parties are about?) I told them that I would love to bake a corset cake and that a sex toy or two can be bought as a present. Some of the friends started complaining and stated that they didn't agree with the theme. I spent a few days thinking it through, and decided to change the party in order to make those invited feel more comfortable. I wrote a few messages saying that it will be a sleepover with no sexual themes and no sex toys will be bought by me, but they were more than welcome to bring whatever gifts they see fit. I also said that I will keep them updated about every decision I make, and that they can contact me if they have any complaints. Many thanked me for my consideration, and we moved on from there.
Until I received a visit from my friend's mother. Apparently one of the girls has felt the need to share the previous messages (which was sex-related) with the mother, who went off at me in return. I am not comfortable with arguments, especially when someone acts in an aggressive manner towards me. I tried to explain to her what my initial intentions were, and that they have been changed in order to accommodate everyone. After an hour's intense talk, she went away, satisfied with my current arrangements.
I thought it ridiculous how everyone was overreacting. I am not a religious person, and was rather startled at how aggressive everyone was initially acting towards me because I dared bring up sex. The mother especially commented on how innocent her daughter was and that sex shouldn't be brought up. (Her daughter is getting married in order to have sex! Which in itself isn't the smartest decision, but more about that later.)
I was shaken for a few days, feeling depressed and generally stressed as I honestly dislike confrontation and usually withdraw if someone overreacts. But I hit rock bottom when I saw that the mother has forwarded the messages to my father. I don't mind him knowing that I am not a prude, but I thought it absolutely immature and unnecessary to involve not only an older male, but also my father into this. I am not sure what her intentions were when she sent it to him, but I certainty did not appreciate her mingling in my personal life.
I don't know how to control the anxiety that's overwhelming me at the moment. I can't sleep properly and I feel too scared to make any arrangements regarding the bachelorette's. My friend has had a run in with her mother as well, and because of that she isn't talking to me. Everything is spiraling out of control. My friend and I have known each other for 11 years and sex has been a constant topic for us as we grew up together. I don't understand why she's either lashing out at me or ignoring me. I tried to talk to her about it on a few occasions but she changed the topic every time, knowing I would drop it because of my anxiety levels. I haven't been able to reach her for the past four days, which is unlike her.
I just need some advise on how to keep myself from over-thinking everything and finding fault in myself. I also don't know how to approach my friend and explain to her why her behavious towards me makes me feel unworthy and anxious. Thanks for reading.
PS: The future bride is 19 years old, and so are most of the girls invited.
I am one of four bride's maids at my best friend's wedding, and has been specifically asked by her to arrange her bachelorette party. Although social settings make me extremely nervous, I agreed to take the lead as no one else know her as well as I do.
Unfortunately I have forgotten how conservative her mother and the rest of her friends are. I have created a Whatsapp group to communicate with all the women invited to the bachelorettes to keep them informed and let them be involved if they wished to contribute.
I have made it clear that the party was intended to be sexual of nature. (Isn't that what most bachelorette parties are about?) I told them that I would love to bake a corset cake and that a sex toy or two can be bought as a present. Some of the friends started complaining and stated that they didn't agree with the theme. I spent a few days thinking it through, and decided to change the party in order to make those invited feel more comfortable. I wrote a few messages saying that it will be a sleepover with no sexual themes and no sex toys will be bought by me, but they were more than welcome to bring whatever gifts they see fit. I also said that I will keep them updated about every decision I make, and that they can contact me if they have any complaints. Many thanked me for my consideration, and we moved on from there.
Until I received a visit from my friend's mother. Apparently one of the girls has felt the need to share the previous messages (which was sex-related) with the mother, who went off at me in return. I am not comfortable with arguments, especially when someone acts in an aggressive manner towards me. I tried to explain to her what my initial intentions were, and that they have been changed in order to accommodate everyone. After an hour's intense talk, she went away, satisfied with my current arrangements.
I thought it ridiculous how everyone was overreacting. I am not a religious person, and was rather startled at how aggressive everyone was initially acting towards me because I dared bring up sex. The mother especially commented on how innocent her daughter was and that sex shouldn't be brought up. (Her daughter is getting married in order to have sex! Which in itself isn't the smartest decision, but more about that later.)
I was shaken for a few days, feeling depressed and generally stressed as I honestly dislike confrontation and usually withdraw if someone overreacts. But I hit rock bottom when I saw that the mother has forwarded the messages to my father. I don't mind him knowing that I am not a prude, but I thought it absolutely immature and unnecessary to involve not only an older male, but also my father into this. I am not sure what her intentions were when she sent it to him, but I certainty did not appreciate her mingling in my personal life.
I don't know how to control the anxiety that's overwhelming me at the moment. I can't sleep properly and I feel too scared to make any arrangements regarding the bachelorette's. My friend has had a run in with her mother as well, and because of that she isn't talking to me. Everything is spiraling out of control. My friend and I have known each other for 11 years and sex has been a constant topic for us as we grew up together. I don't understand why she's either lashing out at me or ignoring me. I tried to talk to her about it on a few occasions but she changed the topic every time, knowing I would drop it because of my anxiety levels. I haven't been able to reach her for the past four days, which is unlike her.
I just need some advise on how to keep myself from over-thinking everything and finding fault in myself. I also don't know how to approach my friend and explain to her why her behavious towards me makes me feel unworthy and anxious. Thanks for reading.
PS: The future bride is 19 years old, and so are most of the girls invited.