unsure

[Maxine]

Hi. I hope this post finds everyone having a good day and in a good space. I'm not sure how to start. You'd think it would be easy for me to pour my heart out on here because I don't know any of you and probably never will other than through this place. Nut I have such severe trust issues I'm finding it hard to come up with the words to say. I struggle with depression and anxiety. I've started to figure out my depression cycle and its really discouraging. I have 1 and a half to 2 weeks of severe depression every month. Then mild to moderate depression for the rest of the time. I have a history with psychotropic medications and it terrifies me to think about using them again. But after talking with my therapist and my boyfriend and doing a lot of thinking on my own I'm coming to the conclusion that I might have to. For now anyway. But I'm still unsure. The last time I was severely over medicated and it made me go crazy, literally. I lost everything, I as homeless and making horrible life choices and putting myself at risk constantly. At any rate, I'm not sure why I'm writing all of this or what I hope to accomplish by doing so. Sending love, light, and positive, calming energy to all.

[gypsylee]

Hi Maxine :)

I've been on a heap of different psych meds as well. I know what you mean about how scary they can be. But you don't have to be over-medicated. I was like a zombie because the first psych I saw put me on about three different meds. When I went back and said I felt worse, he just upped the dose. Well my mum found a different psych and he took me off everything (except the Xanax) and started again. He was much more careful about what he gave me and I ended up finding that SSRIs worked, so we mainly stuck to those.

You don't have to suffer with terrible depression OR be a zombie :) as long as you have a competent doctor who listens to you and some patience, you can find something that helps.

All the best to you..
Gypsy

[Maxine]

Gypsy,

You are so right! I was afraid because I forgot that my doctor works for me, if I don't feel comfortable I don't have to do it. And I was being irrational, I have a really wonderful doctor whom I've had foe years. And she really trusts my instincts and listens to what I have to say.