Quite Interesting - Yet, another "Is it anxiety" thread. But not really.

[somebody]

Hello!

First of all, this is one of these threads, yes. But actually, this will be interesting, because I actually got screened for anything that might cause the symptoms I have and they said it's not axiety, but they also said it is. Which makes me confused. Some doctors said "You just have an over worked nervous system. You're under a LOT of stress and since you're this young, you're not exactly trained for this.". Yet some said they don't know. I paid top money to get checked out and everybody says "You're physically fine.". Yet I feel as if I have a heart failure, cancer & all the illnesses in the world. I even went to see a psychotherapist. He didn't really help me. And I was given Amino Acids & Magnesium, which, ofcourse, didn't help aswell - so my story starts with:

Background story: 19 years old, running two successful businesses, with lots of stress on my head. But my mind doesn't depict stress as stress. Most of the time, I am without feelings towards stress. I never quite see this as stress but rather as a "I have to do this" which constantly fires my brain. I can't get to sleep due to the thinking related to work. I can't sit still without twitching, I barely sleep and ofcourse, I forget to eat. My past is quite the story, but I assume it wasn't nothing exceptional, everyone gets a beating, but I assume nobody remembers it for as long as I do.

My symptoms: The usual anxiety symptoms. Nausea, panic attacks and so on. But it's become obvious that something's wrong with me when, around 7-8 months ago, I had this major "heart attack" after I broke up with a partner (business) that I've relied upon a lot. I got out, out of sudden, it was cold and my heart started rushing INSANELY. I had to call a buddy to come over. Literally, my heart was rushing at 200 beats per minute (measured) for around 25-30 minutes. I thought to myself: No way my heart can take 200 bpm for 30 minutes, there's just no way that is humanly possible. It's just not. Yet, here I am. So I called the ambulance. They came, administered me something and I calmed down. But it took a while for it to take effect. Even so, I really think it was me calming myself down. The only thing I could think of was "I am going to die and haven't achieved what I wanted.". Usuaully, a person dying think about family or the likes, but that was my only regret. It just shows how attached / important work is for me.

And so, back to symptoms: After that night, I started ...I couldn't even get out of the house. Why? Heart rushes? Yes. I am constantly, I mean CONSTANTLY thinking "If I get up, it'll start rushing. It will". I try to go to bed from the PC? I have to drag myself and watch my breathing, because I think it's going to explode. I CONSTANTLY (yes, I do love to use this word, because it expresses what I mean.) have something in my stomach. It feels like I am about to vomit. It feels like acid down on my throat. It feels like my stomach is empty (I tried eating constantly, still the same.). It feels like I'm about to explode inside there. Everytime I get up, it feels like butterflies are in my stomach.

I honestly feel like I'm in front of 500 people for the first time and that I am stuck in that continuum where nothing gets better and I feel like vomitting, falling down and expecting my heart to go nuts. Everytime I go out at night (All of this happens only at night. It's when my "heart attack occured"), this happens. I can't walk because my heart "hurts" and by that I mean that I have to check it everytime, it's become a trend for me to check my pulse every second of my day. During the summer, I rode a bus, even if I have a car, because I needed to and I had to get out and lay down, because it felt like it was killing me. What was killing me? The heat? Been there before, never had a thing with it. But the thought of "something happening" caused my heart to rush out of nowhere. It just feels that my whole bodily fluid rushes to my heart. My abdominal muscles always seem to be tense and I wake up at the slighest sound. It doesn't matter what it is - I wake up. I also noticed my senses have sharped by a LOT. I now am much more responsive to things around me and react almost instantly. As if I were in "alert" all the time.

I also urinate quite a lot. I thought it was heart failure, even if I am young and virtually, it is close to impossible to acquire this kind of disease at this age, no matter what, I went there and did that. I even got myself screened with something called "Nuclear Imaging"? If I am correct, ofcourse. Which said "You are fine.". Even the blood tests were okay. Despite that, I feel like I have heart failure and that I am going to die tomorrow.

What I ask of you is this: Is having my stomach rumbled 24/7 a part of anxiety? I mean, can axiety get this bad that it'd affect every second of your life?

I did an experiment: I moved away for 2 weeks from everything, ate regularly, took walks every night and at first, it didn't seem to work, but after a week: I started noticing results! I could now go up the stairs of a 4 level building without sweating, I could now breathe like a normal person, the panic attacks never happened and I started noticing that nothing happened when I got up. It just showed me that it must be something wrong, somewhere. Perhaps with the sleep / food.

So my final question is: Could anxiety be this severe? I know you can't die out of anxiety, but what is life worth if it is lived this way? I just can't believe (from what I read - even the books on Anxiety), that anxiety can be this severe and perseverent and, ofcourse, prolific. 7-8 months seems a whole lot of time! I'd like for somebody to tell me that he's also had / having this and that I have nothing to worry about and that I can move on to do whatever I want and try to live as healthy as possible without fearing that I have a disease, even if I got screened.

All the best.

[NewDad1985]

While I'm sure that no two people ever have the exact same experience, I've felt largely the way you've described for much of the last year.

It began with work stress. Too much time at work, not enough time at home. Not eating, not sleeping. My experience was also riddled with a bad drinking habit.

I agree with your description of a "heart thing". Sometimes I can't explain what it is, so I just call it a heart attack, because I really feel like that's what it is.

I've been to the ER multiple times and every time, I get the same thing. I'm perfectly healthy and there's NOTHING wrong with my heart.

So why do I feel this way, and how can I feel better?

1) That job I was stressing over so much? I lost it. It was a blessing in disguise. I'm now back to work in the same field, but I'm managing things - and myself - differently.

2) I quit drinking. I drowned myself in booze to mask my anxiety. While it took the edge off initially, it made things worse in the long run.

3) I realize that I may never "beat" anxiety. And so I've decided to live alongside anxiety. Sometimes it just is.

I know my story doesn't exactly correlate with yours, I hope you can find comfort in knowing that you're not alone in feeling the way you do.

Also, it goes without saying around here that I'm not a doctor, nor have I ever played one on TV. If you haven't, do see your doctor about any symptoms you're having. He may be able to recommend a medicine or counselor for you, which I personally have found very helpful.

-n

[Switz5678]

I think we have a lot in common when it comes to the anxiety issue.

I too find it hard to believe that Anxiety can be causing me all these persistent issue(feels like every waking moment for a long time). I too have a problem which revolves mainly between my stomach/heart/breathing. Doctors have told me the same things as they have told you.

I think that in some way these issues can be attributed to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Being anxious about your stomach is in fact anxiety, and can therefor actually manifest stomach issues.. Same with heart. This can lead to a chicken or egg line of thinking... Am I anxious therefor symptoms, or is it symptoms therefor anxiety. One of my friends suggested that my mind is acting like a dog chasing his tail, and that I need to realize that I'm not the dog.. I'm watching the dog. I felt like there was something about this that resonated a truth, but its hard to step back from this line of thinking to see it for what it really is. I can't, as of yet.\

This is not medical advice

I'm pondering the idea of just confronting this fear once and for all. I think that if I begin to exercise, and nothing bad happens, I can begin the journey to a more peaceful state of mind. Every time I do exercise the fear would be less and less because what founds this fear becomes less and less. Perhaps something happens that is bad.. At least I know that something was in fact wrong. I Don't want to live in this middle ground, and I don't think that life is happy in this place

[Xerosnake90]

Switz, excellent analogy with the dog there.

Anxiety is tricky for it effects everyone in different ways but for a lot of the same reasons. Stress produces anxiety and until resolve is held you'll continue with it. Make sure your goals are expectable and not out of reach. Be satisfied when you do achieve something no matter how small. Everything leads to a bigger picture so keep working on it.

It's certainly anxiety, Somebody. Keep moving forward ;)

[somebody]

Hey! Late reply, I know.

Generally, that's how I feel aswell NewDad. Truth be told, anxiety also gives me sleep deprivation, because all I can do is think and I sometimes wake up out of nowhere, perhaps in my mid dream, then have to record something and then it feels as if I've just had a hallucination, because I am so confused.

Next week, am going to see another doctor and see what he says. I've also tried physically exhausting myself with work. It just feels as if I can run, well hold on. I've been straight up at work for 4-5 hours (physical) and didn't feel a thing afterwards.I expected some tiredness, but none whatsoever. I think that the effort put in there was immense, so there was no way of me not being exhausted. I just didn't feel it. It's when I realized that it's anxiety only and sleep deprivation that lead to these feelings.

I wish there was an easy way out, altough, I think that you have to keep telling yourself it's just anxiety and then move on, hoping that one day it'll go away. Because it usually does, it just goes away the way it just came back, from what it seems. Naturally, if you can't relieve stress, find some distractions like going out or doing unusual things. I found out that it does help and I believe, in the long-run, it should pay off.

Just this worning I wake up during sleep and, MY GOD, was I terrified. I was dreaming of my room's door being open and then I wake up, during it, thinking "Who was here?", but then I remember going to sleep at 3 am and it was just around 7 am when this happened, so you can see how it matches with the "dreaming time". It's terrifying, because it leads to useless paranoia, which cannot lead to anything, but if a person keeps this going (This never happened to me before and it's quite usual to happen to anybody from what I read), then I'm sure he'd go insane. Anxiety & Stress are no fun.

I wish you all good luck and I'll keep an eye on here.