Tips needed on how to cope and avoid panic attack

[Peak]

I've not posted on here for some time as have been able to deal with anxiety. However last week it changed. Normally my anxiety has been about my health but last week things got really, really stressful at work and I feel like I can't cope.

Essentially one of the directors of my company has set my department a project that was massive and impossible to do properly in the time scale he gave is. As a result the project was done wrong and now there is hell to pay. My boss had been handling the director whilst I assesed the problem and worked out what has gone wrong and I was able to prove that the fault was caused due to problems with the materials we were working with which themselves had been produced over the past 80 years and so nothing we had control over. Therefore the reason the project went wrong was because the timescale the director put on it did not allow us to assess the materials properly. Everyone is in agreement of this, every level of management right up to the director who doesn't agree and instead blames us.

I can deal with the fact that he blames us even if he is wrong. But he now expects me to fix the problem, tell him exactly how long it will take but that it must be done rapidly and to personally guarantee that it will now be 100% right. It is impossible to guarantee 100% accuracy if I'm also being told to rush it. What's more my immediate boss is now on annual leave this week so it's now all on my shoulders. I've not slept all weekend, I'm currently on the train to work and feeling like a full blown panic attack is inevitable today or this week.

In the past when I was younger I dealt with very stressful situations all the time in fact I liked it. But since my health anxiety started about 10 years ago I can no longer cope. My fight or flight response used to be fight but now it's flight.

I really don't know how to get through this week. I've nobody to turn to, nobody to offer support, it's all on my shoulders and what is being asked and expected of me I cannot achieve in the time given.

To make matters worse my wife and I have had a nightmare this year trying to move and after selling our house in February we are finally moving in 2 weeks time which I only found out on Friday!

[Introspection101]

I am overwhelmed myself from reading this, haha... it does seem like a lot of work. In my opinion, it seems like you're thinking too much about the final result of the project, and since you are thinking about the final result, you are being overwhelmed from the work that needs to be done beforehand. I think you need to take a large step back and look at what the issue is. Write down your ideas on paper: BRAINSTORM! Write down all of the possibilities about what can be done, and how long it will take to do this. Also, if possible, talk to your coworkers. Usually, 2 heads are better than 1, and they can give you good ideas too. Whenever you catch yourself feeling stressed and having a panic attack, stop, think about why you're stressing, focus on your breathing, and take it one step at a time. This won't be easy, but with a little bit of practice I'm sure you can master it. Also, the fact that your manager puts the workload on you says something about you; namely, he trusts that you can get the job done. I think you're capable of doing it, and he probably does too. I hope it works out, Cheers!

[Peak]

Thanks for the reply and the vote of confidence. I agree with everything you say and what is annoying is that I know that I can do it or at least I could do it if I could just get control of my anxiety. It's when I get into that panicky state of mind where every fiber in my being is screaming "run away" that I can't think straight and then that's where mistakes come in and so becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Yesterday I did manage to talk to a colleague who, whilst unaware of my anxiety, has offered to help with the project and between us we are beginning to get a handle on things but I'm very conscious that it's still very much on my shoulders. At the moment I'm just trying to take one day at a time as if I look at the size of it, it's just so daunting and I feel the panic rise.