casper01
10-24-2014, 11:27 AM
HI there!
i am just another 17 year old guy who goes to school. ive been suffering with depression, anxiety since the past few years. it has been only till recently that i visited a doctor to talk about my problems and have been on meds since 4 days. I come from a society where depression is "just a mood to get over" and does not intervene with daily life. once my parents found out ive been self harming myself, they ended up taking me to the psychiatrist just for the sake of me. but did not allow me to go to meds. as far as i know they do not believe in mental illness. i guess my depression started since i was 14. days got dimmer and dimmer. friends started to drift away.
parents to fade away. it felt and still feels like there is some eternal darkness which just lurks behind me trying to consume me every minute, every second of my life.
please do not judge me. i just hope this is a place where i can share my feelings and my thoughts and make some friends who can understand me.
i also suffocate when i go into public. i find it really hard to breathe and my thoughts rush faster and faster. whenever i see a cute girl or a handsome guy, i just feel like rolling myself in some blankets and hiding away. yeah, i do have low self esteem issues.
My first girlfriend and first love was apparently cheating on me throughout our relationship of an year. as i told you this society is not dating friendly, when people ask my ex, why she hangs out with me, she went around telling everyone i know that i was mentally and emotionally absurd. i found her kissing another guy.
this just worsened my condition. right now i feel as if i ran out of tears. i feel so sad and dull and cant move. i wanna cry but cant cry. i just wish something kills me.
now that i got this off, once more HI!. id love to mingle here and maybe help people.
i am just another 17 year old guy who goes to school. ive been suffering with depression, anxiety since the past few years. it has been only till recently that i visited a doctor to talk about my problems and have been on meds since 4 days. I come from a society where depression is "just a mood to get over" and does not intervene with daily life. once my parents found out ive been self harming myself, they ended up taking me to the psychiatrist just for the sake of me. but did not allow me to go to meds. as far as i know they do not believe in mental illness. i guess my depression started since i was 14. days got dimmer and dimmer. friends started to drift away.
parents to fade away. it felt and still feels like there is some eternal darkness which just lurks behind me trying to consume me every minute, every second of my life.
please do not judge me. i just hope this is a place where i can share my feelings and my thoughts and make some friends who can understand me.
i also suffocate when i go into public. i find it really hard to breathe and my thoughts rush faster and faster. whenever i see a cute girl or a handsome guy, i just feel like rolling myself in some blankets and hiding away. yeah, i do have low self esteem issues.
My first girlfriend and first love was apparently cheating on me throughout our relationship of an year. as i told you this society is not dating friendly, when people ask my ex, why she hangs out with me, she went around telling everyone i know that i was mentally and emotionally absurd. i found her kissing another guy.
this just worsened my condition. right now i feel as if i ran out of tears. i feel so sad and dull and cant move. i wanna cry but cant cry. i just wish something kills me.
now that i got this off, once more HI!. id love to mingle here and maybe help people.