sooo very lonely :(

[sharkybaits28]

Due to my anxiety I recently quit my job. Only lasted a few month which is the usual for me. I just couldnt hold any job I had down because people scared and intimidated me so much, and the customers! OH God The Customers were so rude... and I know i shouldnt biut i tend to internalize things. So after I quit my job Im now in that faze were its even hard for me to want to go outside. Its even harder now because we just moved to a new neighborhood and I dont know anyone around or even where to go. I just feel trapped in a cage. I want to escape. I have one person in my life. My boyfriend Josh. We've been together for almost 3 years but he doesnt call or talk to me so much anymore.... he says its cuz of work but idk our relationship is really distant. I dont even know if I love him anymore like I thought I did. Anyway sorry for the long rant. I just have a lot on my mind and I had to get it out somehow.

[Im-Suffering]

Due to my anxiety I recently quit my job. Only lasted a few month which is the usual for me. I just couldnt hold any job I had down because people scared and intimidated me so much, and the customers! OH God The Customers were so rude... and I know i shouldnt biut i tend to internalize things. So after I quit my job Im now in that faze were its even hard for me to want to go outside. Its even harder now because we just moved to a new neighborhood and I dont know anyone around or even where to go. I just feel trapped in a cage. I want to escape. I have one person in my life. My boyfriend Josh. We've been together for almost 3 years but he doesnt call or talk to me so much anymore.... he says its cuz of work but idk our relationship is really distant. I dont even know if I love him anymore like I thought I did. Anyway sorry for the long rant. I just have a lot on my mind and I had to get it out somehow.

I am a medium, so take the following as you wish:

Don't ever apologize for how you feel. Or who you are. Don't set your expectations based on someone else's wants or needs, and most of all don't accept any criticism toward you, or from you. You've had enough of that.

Daily, express yourself as you know how, don't let the physical trappings intimidate you into a shell. Come out and show yourself, dear friend, and shine brightly. Internally you know you are special, you have unique gifts to share. But you cannot if you are self conscious. And you know what im referring to.

The cage you speak of is symbolic in that sense, you understand. You must find the front door and use it. Not only of the house, but of the mind. Break free.

Best regards

[sharkybaits28]

Thank you for your advice and works. I'll try to not focus on how people view me and try not to pretend to be someone else around my boyfriend. I'll do the best to be myself and not care about the judgement that may or may not come from it. I know that I have been my harshest critic so if i can learn to love myself, I know the world would seem a whole lot brighter. Anyway, thank you so much for your reply. It meant a lot to me and its words that I needed to hear. Perhaps be being real will make my relationship stronger but we will see. :)

[Im-Suffering]

Thank you for your advice and works. I'll try to not focus on how people view me and try not to pretend to be someone else around my boyfriend. I'll do the best to be myself and not care about the judgement that may or may not come from it. I know that I have been my harshest critic so if i can learn to love myself, I know the world would seem a whole lot brighter. Anyway, thank you so much for your reply. It meant a lot to me and its words that I needed to hear. Perhaps be being real will make my relationship stronger but we will see. :)

Read what you wrote. Do you believe it? How do you feel when you read your words. Feelings don't lie. And I know you give lip service to what you think people want to hear.

Don't fool yourself, or you'll stay at square one for life.

Feel your words - in your heart and stomach area -

"I'll try to not focus on how people view me and try not to pretend to be someone else around my boyfriend. I'll do the best to be myself and not care about the judgement that may or may not come from it. I know that I have been my harshest critic so if i can learn to love myself, I know the world would seem a whole lot brighter"

How does/did it feel in the past to criticize, belittle, and self deprecate (disapprove)? Its never the words, words are the lie, its the emotions inside that speak your truth. How can you disapprove of yourself and expect others to show approval? They can only approve of your disapproval. And that feels badly.

Being who you are means you speak your truth, no matter what. Because your self worth demands the best for you. Regardless of anyone else. You cannot keep the bf or the job or anything based on a lie.

Be real. That is your lesson. Loving yourself is complete utter acceptance, you see.