Extremely high sex drive?

[moongirl]

For the last year or so, my sex drive has been getting increasingly higher and higher. I would get frustrated and angry if my boyfriend didn't have sex with me or if he did and I didn't "finish". However recently, within the last few weeks or so, my libido has been out of control. All I have thought about all day every day is sex, I have masturbated every day because of it and my anger and frustration when it comes to not having sex is intense. When my partner has not been here and I have been sexually frustrated, I have even debated talking to other men. I haven't, and I don't condone cheating in any way and love my partner to bits, but the fact it's got so bad that such a thing has even crossed my mind is worrying me. This weekend we had a night to ourselves and planned to spend it at a friend's and then we would stay at my boyfriend's mum's as it was closer. But before we left I was overcome with such frustration knowing that we wouldn't be able to have sex while we were at his mum's that I almost ended up not going at all.

I've heard that this can be linked to anxiety disorder and depression, both of which I have suffered from for a long time. Could this be a possibility or am I reading too much into it? It's become so intense so suddenly and out of the blue that I can't think what else it might be linked to. I'm not sure if maybe I'm using sex as an escape from other things and that's why I get so angry and frustrated. I've been having a difficult time controlling any of my emotions lately, anger, frustration, sadness, jealousy... could this just be another thing I've lost control over?

[jessed03]

Anxiety has been known to enhance a person's sex drive, but other mental factors can also be at play.

By the way, I'm Jesse. 6ft1 with a British accent and gorgeous... Just gorgeous to look at.

[Im-Suffering]

I've heard that this can be linked to anxiety disorder and depression, both of which I have suffered from for a long time.

I'm using sex as an escape from other things and that's why I get so angry and frustrated. I've been having a difficult time controlling any of my emotions lately, anger, frustration, sadness, jealousy... could this just be another thing I've lost control over?

correct.

now pay attention to this post.

the emotions are not the cause, but the effect of your thinking. you literally feel your thoughts. and your thoughts come from your beliefs.

you've got work to do, physical sex is not the only fulfillment. in your case it is a scapegoat to attach internal problems onto. thus highly symbolic of emotional unfulfillment and repressed feelings over the years.

the energies need a release, the vice doesn't matter.

vice:

the quality of being morally wrong in principle or practice

it is not the vice, but the expression of the way you feel in destructive ways. you simply feel bad about yourself. thus the work is mental and not external.

that is enough.

[moongirl]

correct.

now pay attention to this post.

the emotions are not the cause, but the effect of your thinking. you literally feel your thoughts. and your thoughts come from your beliefs.

you've got work to do, sex is not the only fulfillment. in your case it is a scapegoat to attach internal problems onto.


Don't get me wrong, I love sex as much as the next person but I feel like my need for it has become unhealthy. I have suffered with anxiety for a very long time and it has become a lot worse lately to the point where I had to give in and see a doctor. I have my first CBT session on Thursday (finally) and don't know if this is something I should mention. My main area of anxiety is health, I am a hypochondriac in the most extreme sense. The way I feel about that, as in I know deep down there is nothing wrong but my brain is wired to believe there is, is the same way I feel about this sex thing. I obsessively google and webmd things, read stories about people who have died young or suddenly etc. In a way, sex has become the same, obsessing over it all the time, feeling that I have to do it in order to feel okay... It's hard to explain but it's becoming an issue and I can't help but feel for my poor partner who just can't keep up with what I'm asking for

[Im-Suffering]

Don't get me wrong, I love sex as much as the next person but I feel like my need for it has become unhealthy. I have suffered with anxiety for a very long time and it has become a lot worse lately to the point where I had to give in and see a doctor. I have my first CBT session on Thursday (finally) and don't know if this is something I should mention. My main area of anxiety is health, I am a hypochondriac in the most extreme sense. The way I feel about that, as in I know deep down there is nothing wrong but my brain is wired to believe there is, is the same way I feel about this sex thing. I obsessively google and webmd things, read stories about people who have died young or suddenly etc. In a way, sex has become the same, obsessing over it all the time, feeling that I have to do it in order to feel okay... It's hard to explain but it's becoming an issue and I can't help but feel for my poor partner who just can't keep up with what I'm asking for

its all going to be ok. glad you are starting CBT, be proud of yourself, you deserve it.

as mentioned, at this point, the sex is the scapegoat to dump the problems on. it could just as well be anything. I am glad you are not attacking your body instead, even though you are health conscious, you thus far have directed energies outward and not manifested anything internally in the form of disease.

so the energies placed on sex are for the better then no expression at all, and then the body suffers.

continue with the therapist not only in CBT but in healing the cause of the anxiety. the conditioning in childhood from your caregivers, the beliefs you hold about your body and life, those you learned long ago, and till this day may be hidden it unexplored for fear of what you may encounter.

best regards, with therapy, be sure to look in all directions, and not to avoid fearful topics.

[moongirl]

Thank you. In terms of the cause of my health anxiety, I think I can remember the trigger way back to my childhood. However, sex has always been an issue for me, I began masturbating at a very early age. Early meaning when I was still in primary school, the earliest memory of this being when I was around 7/8 years old and to this day I do not recall why this is. I'm not sure if something happened to me physically, whether I saw something happening to someone else. I often wonder how, at such a tender age, I even knew how to do that or how I knew that it felt nice etc. I considered hypnotherapy although I am skeptical but decided against it as I was worried what memories I might have blanked out. Whether this has any relevance to my current issue, or whether it is maybe just my "go-to" thing when I feel I need to drive my energy into something else because it is something I have known for so long, I'm not sure. I will possibly bring it up in my therapy sessions if I start to feel comfortable.

[Im-Suffering]

Thank you. In terms of the cause of my health anxiety, I think I can remember the trigger way back to my childhood. However, sex has always been an issue for me, I began masturbating at a very early age. Early meaning when I was still in primary school, the earliest memory of this being when I was around 7/8 years old and to this day I do not recall why this is. I'm not sure if something happened to me physically, whether I saw something happening to someone else. I often wonder how, at such a tender age, I even knew how to do that or how I knew that it felt nice etc. I considered hypnotherapy although I am skeptical but decided against it as I was worried what memories I might have blanked out. Whether this has any relevance to my current issue, or whether it is maybe just my "go-to" thing when I feel I need to drive my energy into something else because it is something I have known for so long, I'm not sure. I will possibly bring it up in my therapy sessions if I start to feel comfortable.

careful how you label sex, you see, and to what beliefs are attached to it. looking back, at that 'tender age' as you term it, you may believe yourself ashamed or sham full of your actions. you may feel guilty or overly critical. you might self deprecate and to view these actions as somehow unclean, you may feel violated, or wrong. for having those feelings at that age. and thus now, the health anxiety, the depression, could all stem from those beliefs the small child told herself.

this is for you to uncover, you see. for you are still the little girl, and she is still part of you. it is you now, in a parental sense, which must reach out and let her know she did nothing wrong, period.

sex is healthy, you are healthy, and exploration is healthy. anything to the contrary that feels badly is a false belief, let your feelings guide you. explore all of this in therapy.

the end goal is always love, to love and accept who you are. and should you ever make a mistake, learn from it and move on, for the self is too precious and too beautiful to fill with negative beliefs.

at age 7 or so, explore in therapy what you may have told yourself, during your explorations and after...

'I am bad'
'I shouldn't be doing this'
'mom and dad might give me up if the caught me, or punish me, or somehow not love me anymore'
'I am wicked or unlovable'
'I am mental or crazy'
'what if in am caught?'
'I hate myself'
'what if I caught a disease somehow?' offshoots to health obsession.

and many more possibilities. now you see if these beliefs were never questioned, than today you still feel, act, and think as that 7 year old, anxiety is the offshoot.

[moongirl]

I agree with the point about how I have possibly brought over negative aspects from childhood into the present day hence my feelings towards the whole subject. It's definitely something to consider

[Im-Suffering]

I agree with the point about how I have possibly brought over negative aspects from childhood into the present day hence my feelings towards the whole subject. It's definitely something to consider

self work is the main purpose of this life. so expect friction where work needs to be done.

what else did you think we were up to?

you can do this.

[NixonRulz]

For the last year or so, my sex drive has been getting increasingly higher and higher. I would get frustrated and angry if my boyfriend didn't have sex with me or if he did and I didn't "finish". However recently, within the last few weeks or so, my libido has been out of control. All I have thought about all day every day is sex, I have masturbated every day because of it and my anger and frustration when it comes to not having sex is intense. When my partner has not been here and I have been sexually frustrated, I have even debated talking to other men. I haven't, and I don't condone cheating in any way and love my partner to bits, but the fact it's got so bad that such a thing has even crossed my mind is worrying me. This weekend we had a night to ourselves and planned to spend it at a friend's and then we would stay at my boyfriend's mum's as it was closer. But before we left I was overcome with such frustration knowing that we wouldn't be able to have sex while we were at his mum's that I almost ended up not going at all.

I've heard that this can be linked to anxiety disorder and depression, both of which I have suffered from for a long time. Could this be a possibility or am I reading too much into it? It's become so intense so suddenly and out of the blue that I can't think what else it might be linked to. I'm not sure if maybe I'm using sex as an escape from other things and that's why I get so angry and frustrated. I've been having a difficult time controlling any of my emotions lately, anger, frustration, sadness, jealousy... could this just be another thing I've lost control over?

Maybe it could be all the things that have been listed on this thread

Or...it could be just the latest thing you obsess on until the next thing

Obsessing is never a great thing anyway, but at least always thinking about sex is better than thinking of dying in an accident or having a heart attack

I obsess about sex as well but just figure it's because I'm a dude and we are supposed to

Don't beat yourself up too much on this one

It's just a matter of addressing your obsessive thoughts issue regardless of what you are obsessing on