always feeling sad

[WanderingWisp]

Hi,

I'm feeling like I'm losing control. I spend a couple hours crying each night. I am terrified to get a job. I have had about a dozen part-time jobs in my life, but am now unemployed. I don't think I can deal with the pressure anymore.
I have social anxiety disorder and am probably depressed. I want to be better, but it feels hopeless. I have been avoiding making a doctor's appointment to get help. I pretty much just run around in circles in my head all day.
Any encouragement is appreciated.

[Joe.]

Firstly, welcome!

You need to seek a therapist in my opinion, if you for some reason find this hard, see just asking as a challenge, you see, and if you do it, you're on the first step to recovery.
'Radical action' alters bad beliefs
You've already signed up to a forum about anxiety, so you have accepted you have a problem, right? That's great!
I can see within your words a desperation, a need, a want; faith; this is the recipe for success at beating anxiety. Keep going
Take care

[AceParadox]

Hi there, and welcome to the forums!

Remember this one thing; It's never hopeless. It's in our darkest hour that we usually see our true strength - and I've no doubt that you are strong.
You said you wanted to be better, that's a powerful weapon right there. The will to get better - all you have to do is hang on to that, and when anxiety or depression starts to beat you down, you give it a fist in the face, and tell it every time it comes at you, you'll get 10x stronger.

A therapist can help you though, as Joe said. Keep doing anything you can to distract yourself - hobbies, friends, anything good. Just don't give your mind a chance to start going "You're worthless, blah blah blah. You cant do this right, blahhh" It's lying when it tells you that, because you aren't worthless, and you ARE doing this right.

You are in a fierce battle, but you're the Hero in shining armor - anxiety and depression is NOTHING to you and you WILL emerge victorious :]

*cheers for you*

[superchick22684]

Welcome! I want to tell you that it's never hopeless. I've had anxiety and depression for some time and have found that most of the people that struggle with these issues are very strong. Let the fact that you want to be better be a motivation to you. Joining this forum was a good first step.

[always_with_me]

Hey WanderingWisp!

I hope tonight finds you better! It's difficult to get a good read on the situation because there isn't a whole lot of detail to work with, but I encourage you to hang in there. I agree with superchick's suggestion that people that struggle with anxiety and depression are generally strong people; stronger, often, than they are willing to acknowledge themselves. For all the things it messes up, anxiety also seems to give us a kind of strength. I don't mean to be cheesy about it. This is just a thought I've been working through and was reminded of reading through the comments.

Maybe it would help to write some more, if you are open to it, about the challenges you are struggling with? That is, there might be some benefit to writing about your experiences in a bit more detail. I'm taking baby steps in that direction myself and it seems like this forum might be a good testing place, particularly if you struggle with social anxiety. I'm not sure how helpful this suggestion will be for you, but there has to be some benefit to working through it a bit, right? I mean, anything's better than going over it in your head for the billionth time, I think. Ha. Sometimes I find that I evaluate my thoughts differently when I see them on paper. I don't know that this will be your reaction, but sometimes I find myself laughing at my thoughts when I externalize them. Again, I'm still working on this myself...

[KDolyniuk]

WanderingWisp,

I can relate to your feelings of hopelessness and losing control...I felt so alone and ashamed for a long time, but I am new to this forum, too, and I hope so much that I can find support here.