tryingtocalm1
10-13-2014, 11:35 AM
Hi everybody, my name is jake and i have never done anything like this forum before but i believe it is time to reach out to people with similar difficulties who over came them to help to put my fear to rest. I am a 19 year old guy who lives a generally great life. I have friends and a job go to college and always trying to do something fun. Ive dealt with depression before but never anxiety and ESPECIALLY never health anxiety but apparently thats changed. It all strated in July on a day that I went thru some issues with an ex girlfriend. That night i layed in my bed and had the oddest sensaton in my neck and a feeling of numbness in my body. I googled (i know i know ) my symptoms and BAM i was having a stroke. I came downstairs and told my dad my concerns and he seemed completly unphased and told me to drink some water and to try to go back to sleep. In the days following i began having chest discomfort and shortness of breath and had an emotional break down and although my parents still believed im fine, i went to the doctor. He did a physical exam and asked me a few questions and then assured me im not having a heart attack at my age. I expressed how concerned i was due to the fact that i smoke cigarettes and dont eat very healthy (even though im not overweight) and he still said if that caused you to have heart attacks by 19 no one would live past 30. i admit that made me laugh. so i left the doctors office temporarily relieved until i had the sensation again but this time my entire left arm throbbed for days I was again positive i was having a heart attack and went back to my doctor to get an ekg which everyone knew would be fine and it was. Not one abnormality was seen. Once again i was healthy. In the following weeks i still had the pain in my left arm which would also travel to my right arm and my neck. I then discovered lyme disease and began spiraling down that path that brought me back to the doctor. he put me on antibiotic and did a full blood panel, a test for RA, lyme, borella, and thyrod issues which all came back perfect. After my antibotic was through and he told me i was healthy i finally believed him. I spent weeks living the happiest i had in over a month until the als ice bucket challenge introduced me to als. I had had some twitching in the days before i found out what als was but it didnt even phase me. Once i did research on it my life began to spiral worse than i could have ever imagined. I started twitching mostly in my legs and feet but also in my face arms and back. I remained relitvley calm assuring myself that weakness is a trade mark sign that i did not and do not have. Until i looked at my tongue. At rest, my tongue seems to have fasculations. for the first time in my life i had a real panic attack. I lost my mind and began crying my eyes out everyday at work, school, home, in bed everything. I couldnt go out with friends or focus in school i was a reck. I went back to my doctor who was aggitated that i even thought i had this. He expressed to me for the third time that he thins i have a health anxiety issue. I passsed the full neuroligical exam but he sent me to a neurologist to be sure because of my tongue. I saw the neurologist who dd another full exam which i passed with no issues. she looked t my tongue and said it was odd. she said that they didnt quite seem like fasculations but more like a quiver. she said if i had als twitches in my body by this point they would show up on an EMG so she ordered a three limb EMG. That day came and i had not even the slightest abnormality show up on the EMG. I went back for a follow up consultaion and she said that she doesnt think that they are tongue fasculatons its more of a quiver and she said if they were real tongue fasculatons with als i would already have trouble with eatring swallowng or speaking which i have none of and my tongue would be deformed in some way. she also said even if they were real tongue fasculatons its probably not ALS and the internet is wrong. she said that anxiety can cause them, vitamin deficiencys, and even if it was something it could be a brain lession. I want to believe her so badly and move on but i cant get over the tongue thing. I want my life back... so sorry for the long thread i havent opened up to many people about this so i appreciate the replies.