mglover92
10-13-2014, 02:54 AM
Please help. This is alot to read. I will try to make it short. Anyone who has had Relationship anxiety or ROCD or GAD that has disrupted their relationship please chime in. Any sort of advice I will surely appreciate it. I have a fear of losing my girlfriend,either her cheating on me and leaving me, or me leaving her, or me not loving her anymore or her not being the one. Currently this is my obsession. I have had multiple before, this feels the same but alot worse.
This anxiety started after 1 THOUGHT. LITERALLY 1 THOUGHT, THAT LEAD ME TO BEING MISERABLE. My girlfriend wanted to have sex one night and I wasnt in the mood. I dont know why I wasnt in the mood, but being young and together for 6 years I guess I felt at the time it was starting to get boring? I sort of felt like our relationship was sort of getting boring? It kind of felt like the same routine. But who cares every long term relationship sometimes gets boring right? My mind automatically went crazy and said "maybe you need to break up with her, maybe its time to move on" That thought eventually led me to believe "What if I am losing interest in my girlfriend" After that thought i had a panic attack and have not been the same ever sense. Since I came down with this thought that causes tremendous anxiety me and my girlfriend have been fighting more, we have screamed at each other more than ever in the 6 years of being together, I have withdrawn from her, I question whether I still love her or not, I question if I should still marry her, its TERRIBLE. Now as we speak I constantly go day by day dreading seeing her sometimes out of the anxiety I get when I am around her. I truly believe my obsession and my thought process has literally made me fearful and afraid of being around her because of the anxiety that is brought up because of the thoughts. Sometimes when me and her have a conversation I literally feel like a zombie because I do not know what to say when she is talking about something. Sometimes I just get really quiet and freeze up and dont know what to say back. Its like I am over thinking of distant and I never use to act like this. But when I get back home I am fine...and feel normal. My home is like my safe zone for my anxiety, so when I am out somewhere I am constantly anxious and always looking to go home, even when I am with my girlfriend. I cant stay in one place more than a hour or two then I am ready to go. I always feel like I need to be doing something. I feel like my anxiety ruined my relationship and made my mind do a 180 into convincing me that I do not love her anymore. I also havnt been very affectionate around her anymore either. I just dont know why. I think all the fighting and stuff because of my anxiety just made my brain say "Look you need to move on, she isnt the one, you dont love her, listen to the anxiety" These thoughts are preventing me from enjoying the time with her and being happy. Its almost like I am convinced now that it is over and it wont last and I feel panicky and horrified that might be the case. I do love her, I WANT TO BE WITH HER, I WANT TO FEEL AFFECTIONATE TOWARDS HER, I WANT TO MARRY HER. I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE HER. Its just when I am in those instances sometimes those feelings just come up and make me think I don't like her, but deep down I know for a fact it is the stress from my anxiety and constant thought process that is causing this emotion and feelings. Atleast I hope so. I just dont know if I am losing feelings for her after all these years (nothing has changed about her to the point where I should even think about leaving her) I honestly have no clue why ALL THE SUDDEN this happened.
A couple questions
1. Could my intrusive thought process when around my girlfriend be causing me to not be as affectionate towards her? They cause big time stress. I am constantly thinking about this shit 24 7. Everytime she shows affection its like my brain goes crazy and I get angry and upset. Its like my brain signals everything she does as danger. And I truly believe this is because I am hyper vigilant when around her and looking for shit to panic on. Also could be because of the fights and stuff lately unfortunately from the stress.
2. How the hell do I get over this? I talked to her about it and told her I love her and I WILL FIX THIS. I do NOT want to break up with her, i love her to death. I just dont know what all the sudden happened. I refuse to throw away a 6 year relationship.
3. The funny thing is, when she does come over, and when we do cuddle in bed, and do begin to have sex i actually LOVE IT. And I am actually the one that gets it going.. Sometimes its just the thought process or the text messages that lead up to it that cause me anxiety. Sometimes it just feels like alot of work, but when it happens I eventually love it ...sometimes it feels like a chore though. I hate to say that.
Whoever takes the time to read this I would really appreciate it. I love my girlfriend, I want to be with her, she is amazing, I want to fix this, I dont know what caused this other than that 1 thought. I just feel terrible though and I feel like It will never be the same. Thanks to anyone who replies with advice...iv talked to her about it, and it makes her really sad hearing it.
This anxiety started after 1 THOUGHT. LITERALLY 1 THOUGHT, THAT LEAD ME TO BEING MISERABLE. My girlfriend wanted to have sex one night and I wasnt in the mood. I dont know why I wasnt in the mood, but being young and together for 6 years I guess I felt at the time it was starting to get boring? I sort of felt like our relationship was sort of getting boring? It kind of felt like the same routine. But who cares every long term relationship sometimes gets boring right? My mind automatically went crazy and said "maybe you need to break up with her, maybe its time to move on" That thought eventually led me to believe "What if I am losing interest in my girlfriend" After that thought i had a panic attack and have not been the same ever sense. Since I came down with this thought that causes tremendous anxiety me and my girlfriend have been fighting more, we have screamed at each other more than ever in the 6 years of being together, I have withdrawn from her, I question whether I still love her or not, I question if I should still marry her, its TERRIBLE. Now as we speak I constantly go day by day dreading seeing her sometimes out of the anxiety I get when I am around her. I truly believe my obsession and my thought process has literally made me fearful and afraid of being around her because of the anxiety that is brought up because of the thoughts. Sometimes when me and her have a conversation I literally feel like a zombie because I do not know what to say when she is talking about something. Sometimes I just get really quiet and freeze up and dont know what to say back. Its like I am over thinking of distant and I never use to act like this. But when I get back home I am fine...and feel normal. My home is like my safe zone for my anxiety, so when I am out somewhere I am constantly anxious and always looking to go home, even when I am with my girlfriend. I cant stay in one place more than a hour or two then I am ready to go. I always feel like I need to be doing something. I feel like my anxiety ruined my relationship and made my mind do a 180 into convincing me that I do not love her anymore. I also havnt been very affectionate around her anymore either. I just dont know why. I think all the fighting and stuff because of my anxiety just made my brain say "Look you need to move on, she isnt the one, you dont love her, listen to the anxiety" These thoughts are preventing me from enjoying the time with her and being happy. Its almost like I am convinced now that it is over and it wont last and I feel panicky and horrified that might be the case. I do love her, I WANT TO BE WITH HER, I WANT TO FEEL AFFECTIONATE TOWARDS HER, I WANT TO MARRY HER. I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE HER. Its just when I am in those instances sometimes those feelings just come up and make me think I don't like her, but deep down I know for a fact it is the stress from my anxiety and constant thought process that is causing this emotion and feelings. Atleast I hope so. I just dont know if I am losing feelings for her after all these years (nothing has changed about her to the point where I should even think about leaving her) I honestly have no clue why ALL THE SUDDEN this happened.
A couple questions
1. Could my intrusive thought process when around my girlfriend be causing me to not be as affectionate towards her? They cause big time stress. I am constantly thinking about this shit 24 7. Everytime she shows affection its like my brain goes crazy and I get angry and upset. Its like my brain signals everything she does as danger. And I truly believe this is because I am hyper vigilant when around her and looking for shit to panic on. Also could be because of the fights and stuff lately unfortunately from the stress.
2. How the hell do I get over this? I talked to her about it and told her I love her and I WILL FIX THIS. I do NOT want to break up with her, i love her to death. I just dont know what all the sudden happened. I refuse to throw away a 6 year relationship.
3. The funny thing is, when she does come over, and when we do cuddle in bed, and do begin to have sex i actually LOVE IT. And I am actually the one that gets it going.. Sometimes its just the thought process or the text messages that lead up to it that cause me anxiety. Sometimes it just feels like alot of work, but when it happens I eventually love it ...sometimes it feels like a chore though. I hate to say that.
Whoever takes the time to read this I would really appreciate it. I love my girlfriend, I want to be with her, she is amazing, I want to fix this, I dont know what caused this other than that 1 thought. I just feel terrible though and I feel like It will never be the same. Thanks to anyone who replies with advice...iv talked to her about it, and it makes her really sad hearing it.