Quit trying to get somewhere your not - see how special it is; where you already are.

[Ponder]

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ___________________________________


https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3929/15519819935_01940ae0b0_z.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/pDr8Lk)

_____________________
__________
__

This day and age - it's hard not to be Right or Wrong - Tell or be Told:
Since I've stopped Trying - Stopped Searching - Stopped Following -
Stopped liking - Stopped Needing -

I'm now seeing.

[Joe.]

Doesn't work for everyone that philosophy.
You could replace "stop" with "start" and have a convincing quote, well maybe not 'start needing'.

[Xerosnake90]

A drive to thrive is never wrong. But do appreciate where you are, as that makes the now worth it. If you want to better yourself, don't beat yourself up because of where you are. It's a challenge for a reason.

[Ponder]

Sigh - It's fortunate for me, that I'm in no need for such approval. The pattern of which I speak seems no doubt destined to speak in the words of others who are addicted in seeking Rights on Wrongs. I never said anything to the contrary. Still I welcome you as is. Not all in the forum mind you - but alas ... thanks for your reach.

I'm not making any great claims for others - Just merely speaking of how I feel.


____________________________________

On the topic of mindfulness - I share this one with my friends that feel and happy to connect "like wise" without all this continued approval.

An excellent therapist who'm with I had a great repore, once adviced me to start wearing my watch and purchase a diary. It was during a time - where time no longer existed for me. Unfortunately I can not make any great claims to miraculously finding my inner self during this phase of a timeless existence. It was more a case of clinical depression.

Whilst I now find knowing what time it is helpful and have some tools to help me remind me of appointed dates, my less anxious moments, are those that seamlessly come from nowhere and blend into the next, without knowing at all.

Once Time, Places, People and Things become more than those moments that take no thought at all - I quickly forget how; not to think at all.
___________________________________________

Nothing special - just is how it was and still is - for me. :)

[FrederickMorone]

Interesting. I, myself, have noticed whenever I engage in a session of profound presence I feel almost at one with God's love. I don't believe you can connect with the creator when your mind is in another dimension, i.e. the past and the future.

[Dahila]

Oh jeez, it seems mindfulness is a foreign language here. It is not difficult to understand; just be in the moment, this moment, is the only moment that counts....Hi Mr. Ponder, nice to see you ;)))

I do not understand? Whenever you make a topic some religious people come here to claim their ownership of you........why? Like leeches, when you step into water you get them all over you....

[Ponder]

It's becoming like water off a ducks back now Dahila. :) So please you could drop in. You know ... the mindfulness forum is a rather quiet place. It's a skill not many people reach and or appreciate. I think it's simplicity is rather threatening to many, but that's not my problem anymore. It's also why so many of these religious types feel the need to cut my down when I go from struggling to actually coming back with something of worth. In some cases when I simply get back up and stand. No riddles and No philosophy for me anymore - In actual fact ... I don't even try to see at as profound anymore.

Give me a moment - I do find it necessary though, to now be rid of these distractions ... Just reaching for the iggy once more.

BRB -

Righto - Just me and you again. - and of course ... all my other friends.

[FrederickMorone]

Oh jeez, it seems mindfulness is a foreign language here. It is not difficult to understand; just be in the moment, this moment, is the only moment that counts....Hi Mr. Ponder, nice to see you ;)))

I do not understand? Whenever you make a topic some religious people come here to claim their ownership of you........why? Like leeches, when you step into water you get them all over you....

Some types of Christianity believe talk about meditation and yoga to be that of the devil. Now that would be claiming ownership. I was agreeing with the original poster. I find it helps me experience the Lord's love even stronger. If it helps him relax too, then that's great. Not perfect, but not bad. Better than feeling sad.

[Ponder]

Good New is, I'm back on my feet Dahila. Take more than those guys to knock me off my perch. I have moved WAY beyond all the those term such people use to bicker and banter as they do.

I'm thinking of doing a Video Testimonial in how Mindfulness has helped me Dahila. But it won't be wasted on this site. I give you a link - it's for people looking to heal and very much void of all the conflict that goes on in here.

http://www.everyday-mindfulness.org/forum/index.php

I believe Gareth runs the site (He suffers MS like my wife, but he seems to suffer it well :) ) - Here is his Testimonial and another from a young lady named Mellisa who also has an important message about how mindfulness has helped.

http://www.everyday-mindfulness.org/gareths-video-testimonial/
http://www.everyday-mindfulness.org/mellisas-video-testimonial/

Disclaimer coming...

[Ponder]

I think I need to make a disclaimer regarding religion/spirituality and philosophy for all my future posts. For this forum at the very least. Your correct about the unending need for these types to seek correction and conflict as they do regarding my posts on such topics as mindfulness and or most of what I say.

You know - I once found a buddhist forum that had - No Mental Illness Allowed ... ROFL ... OMG "minus" the G ... hehe - I mean SERIOUSLY ... GEEEEE Wiz hey ... I am so thankful they make me feel welcome at the Mindfulness place. My point is, It's not just the religious and worshiping types that are threatened and react like so (western secularism [and yes the east do in fact have their issues too] is infected with the same needs, addictions in thier attempts to assimilate as they do.) ... Talking about spirituality is so damn hard, I'm now avoiding that with most folk.

You know how hard I have it with my ups and downs ... and so do the many in here who leach as they do ... well said. I refuse to be silenced by such types - More unwelcome distractions most suited to the wondrous fame of Mr Iggy. Those that matter will hear and chime with what I have to say. I only intended to go more pictorial - but why not ... I'll go back to text. :)
______________________________________________

The meeting with the support worker went well today. The first time I have ever broken down in front of another man - BUT TO HELL WITH THAT, I'm also looking beyond such gender based BS that you know well, comes from "know thy place"

I think sometimes I waste my time in here ... but then again, I've made good friends and that's one thing I wont ignore.
_____________

Even better News - I FIXED the elliptical ... Woohoo ... SEE - even people into mindfulness get excited ... So ... I'll be working on getting into shape. The electrics are shot ... but the tension belt is just how I need it for now.

I'm going to grab another pic from the several hundred ... then go back to studying up on HTML. I do hope Cully, john, Pam, are able to pop in - actually I don't mind anyone as long as they don't be rude and question me like some inquisitor or feel the need to correct me as they so commonly do. Yes I heard - you meant no harm ... I'm sorry but the religious triggers are what have you on iggy. There are more people in here as a result from religion than you could ever understand - It's been said over and over - best to leave you Gods for the God forums ... many of us and more every days are awaking to the power that resides within - "US" - and we need know corrections, justifications, validations and all that other jaz that comes from a life of indoctrination ... we struggle with our own minds as it is -

So there you have it --- I'll be back with another picture. I thought you and the others would like to see me being more active again - I'm feeling ...hmmmmmm wait for it .... I'm actually feeling Positive for a change. :) Been a long time coming. I've missed you guys heaps - and also myself ................ it's time to once again spread my wings.

If I'm not biting - don't keep trying. :)

[Ponder]

_________________________________________________
____________________
___

Sometimes I feel like I'm just visiting & need to watch where I tread.

https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3725/10064155935_a15bf709d5_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/gkkqVV)

[Enduronman]

I thought you and the others would like to see me being more active again - I'm feeling ...hmmmmmm wait for it .... I'm actually feeling Positive for a change. :) Been a long time coming. I've missed you guys heaps - and also myself ................ it's time to once again spread my wings.

Great news to see and feel friend!
Congratulations bruh!
Hope to see you around again soon.
Have a great day.

E-Man :)

[Dahila]

I am happy to see you, eh I still could not "manipulate" my man into buying one. The used ones are so sh*****y not worth the money. I checked out mindfulness forum, and it is very quiet and very polite place.
I think mindfulness is to practice, to find the "power" in us. We do have incredible power and possibility to change world around. People think it is god but even if it is, they always need to name something, I do not mind. Heck they may call it Flour, I do not care. I am kind of happy that you open up with the therapist. Hopefully it will help you, it is important to talk about us. I know, that it is not easy for you. It is impossible for me. Probably you are the only person who knows a lot about me, my friend.
You know I am practicing mindfulness without break for maybe a year now. So far no break for me and it really helps me. I am neither happy nor sad, and it is the best state to find yourself in.
Oh the small people will try to change you, your charisma make them stick to you. Let them, accept them then forget about them. I am really happy that you started on the machine, on the photos and feeling better. That's the best news my friend:)
Yesterday i went to party (oh I hate this kind of party but my man needed to be with others) I tried to change the stupid topics of the conversation but it was ignored, people do not want to think , they scream so much that they do not hear their thoughts. Literally. I am so drained. :) Hopefully for next 6 months there will be no party

[Ponder]

Hi E-man, I'm back already - but somewhat calmer :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9YHBUef9OM

Dahila - thanks for reminding about __________________________________________________ _______________________________ as opposed to __ ! __ ! ___ ! ___ ! __ ! __ ! _ !_ ! _ ! _

There's a lot to be said for that. ______________________________ can sure be beautiful.

[Ponder]

The feeling of _______________________________________ Recharges my batteries to drive myself. Yes I said DRIVE! But my driving force is somewhat different to that which feeds on the opinions of others. Once you drop the need for approval - so ingrained on social networking sites and anything else the media spins ... the pressure simply drops, and then the paradox is that the heart starts pumping. You go from searching to sharing and creating worlds that others can not touch. A good for those who have suffered long term with trust. It's a good way to spread your wings.

Humanity is way overrated, as too; all their stories and hangups. My world is so much better.


______________________________________________



I only hear those that sync - for I am my own God - and it's "I" who chooses ... whom I let in.

https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7418/10015022895_4329cd2cf7_o.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/gfZBox)

[Dahila]

Beautiful;)

[Ponder]

Still in the testing Phase - making new Gains and more consistently too - Hopefully I will soon be able to share some beautiful panoramics from such heights. This afternoon shortly before dusk.
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _____________




https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3933/15346810409_5de268b8a0_z.jpg

Once I work out the kinks - I'll have some video that might double as a Relaxation Guide - Still need more time to obtain the skills.

[Exactice]

PONDER!!!! Whats up buddy!!!!! Welcome back, we missed you. Its been nice seeing some of the season members back (E-Man, Dahila etc)

I think people may have misunderstood from what you are trying to convey.

I think I understand... let me see if I can break it down.

Like someone said, live in the moment. Instead of focusing so hard on your recovery, and so hard on trying to rid your self of anxiety and panic. Enjoy the single moments that you are not suffering! A great saying is "Anticipation of fear, is worst than fear itself". Why driver yourself mad by trying to figure your future out. Do little by little steps now so that your future will be easier. Rather than trying to plan your future and not watch were you are stepping now!

Thanks Ponder! For another way of seeing things!

[Cullingford]

I get it! give yourself time to really enjoy the stuff around you, when so many make themselves unhappy! striving for things that they think will bring pleasure but rarely do for long.

https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3839/14908920520_cb270261d6_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/oHs7DN)


Look at the smile on his face :)

Lovely pictures by the way Dave

[Dahila]

I am losing it, is the concept of mindfulness so difficult to understand?

[Ponder]

Your Welcome Exactice
thxs man

PS - Speechless about your pic there Cully.

[JohnC]

Howdy all, nice stuff guy's.
1465

I searched all over for that damn pot of gold but nothing.
Very nice pic Cully and peace to the rest of my friends.
Just struggling right now.
P.S. Dahlia sounds like My Dad will be OK. So yes some good news for a change.

[needtogetwell]

So, the gang is all here! Yup it's me! Your eyes are not deceiving you.

Ponder, it's so good to see you in a good place right now! I too am in quite a good place too. YAY for us.

My return to work after 4 months off has been difficult and exhausting, but I will get there. Mindfulness really helps me with all of that. So glad you have found something which makes you seem so positive.

I must say its good to see the posts here from John, Cully, Eman, Exactice and the lovely Dahila!

Take care my friend!
Cheers
Pam

[Dahila]

John it is really good, thank you man:))

[Exactice]

PAM!!!!!! Holy smokes couple more and we will have a reunion!!!

[Ponder]

LOL - Good stuff :)

PAM - I have been asking after your wellbing for a while now. It's a real treat to see you back. That's good news about your work. That is a huge thing and I tip my hat your way thinking of just how much you have overcome with regards to that.

Hi John - awesome to see yourself as well and throwing up that pic there as you've done. Good stuff - :)

I've goto run now guys - Fortnightly shopping today. Hopefully catch you guys soon.

I definable remain inspired with the way things are unfolding in here.

Thankful at that :)

Take care Exactice - can see you in chat now as I type :) -

Take care all - Cully and Dahila and anyone else my early morning brain my have let slip.

Peace.

[Ponder]

__________________________________________________ ________________
_______________
__


Whilst walking the sopping isles today I'll be thinking of this:

https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5157/14564083765_f28923ba72_z.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/obYJGv)


__________________________________________________ ______________

[Silmarwen18]

This sounds like a mantra for giving the hell up...

START searching.... START following... stop sitting the dark drab corner of life and get out there!!! THATS seeing the real beauty in life... And if, like me, you have a strong foundation Jesus Christ, relying on him is a big help...

Otherwise, there are so many ways to feel good about life and yourself...

Believe me I have a daily struggle with these things myself so im no pro... but I do know what its like to feel under control and finally break free... even if it is only for a short bursts at a time...

Live.Love.Laugh

That's all I can say :)

[Dahila]

For your own good Get the hell out of this thread kiddo

[Ponder]

-----------------------------
The very fact that that person came in here like it did, highlights that toxicity of which we have discussed. That's really all there is to say about that. The need that resides in these people is quite deep as not doubt they must always leave on a note that sees them right.

lets not allow these people to spoil our reunion.

Your awesome as always Dahila - always bringing such insight and looking out for others as you do - It often makes me smile you, just being you.

_______________________________

Shopping went OK all things considered and now I'm back home eating a few no no's just within their dates. :)

__________________________________________________ _____________________
_________________________
______


I share this one [again] in response to those greedy little bliss seekers that think of nothing but their own self interests, which prevents such types - from even knowing how to sit and stop.

https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8490/8220643948_d98d353132_z.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/dwqX3u)

My good camping buddy that lives in the City. Three nighter this one. He now owns his own company. His Business prides itself on stopping & taking stock Vs those that preach bigger and better with BS promises of eternal life.

[Ponder]

John - that photos beacons for me drone ! - What a trip if I could send it your way. :)

[needtogetwell]

I read that post and thought to myself...."oh boy here we go again".

Ponder, I am very impressed with your restraint.

What some seem to forget is that what may be one persons bliss may look like misery to another. Nowhere does anyone have the right to make that judgement, plain and simple.

Anyway, I for one am so pleased with your current state of mind, keep it up, you've come so far!

Cheers!

[Ponder]

Thank Pam - I understand my way is challenging to others - and I also need to watch my wording as well. I also head your message and thank you for it. :)

NIGHT ONE off seroquel (take two :) )

Tonight is Night One off the Seroquel. I just can't live on it anymore. They tried my on XR ... but that was even worse (slow release) ... I've tapered from 150 down to 75 and instead of going to 50 ... I've decided to just stop it. I have my reasons for not involving the doctor, however mental health are aware of what I am doing. 50mg sets of the itching and whilst I know I'm going to suffer that anyways coming off - I need to stop this reliance and also trap. 2 years no basically on that stuff. It;'s gong to be hard as hell I know. My skin is going to burn and I'm going to wake up like that with itchy skin - will end up bleeding too no doubt.

Here is a like to the hell others are suffering coming of it - quite a few nightmare stories. I really wish the doctors could of warned me.

http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2014/05/20/seroquel-quetiapine-withdrawal-symptoms-how-long-do-they-last/

I may resort to taking phenergan - but that too could lead me into a dependency - but none the less, if it's a question of taking something, it will be that. I'm going to sweat it out as well - but have to watch that too. Flu like symptoms no doubt to come.
________________________________________________

Just letting you guys know - because this is going to change my state of mind --- will try to meditate :)

Peace all - I'm off to be for my first night off the drug. Might do some push-ups ...

PS - my decision to come of the long term drug, will not have me become bias regarding others I know who need their meds. My recent posts about the easy way out still stand - far too many kids turning to pills over simply growing pains --- totally different story ... don't worry --- I'll end up back on something or other ... but in good time. I need to regain some sense of control is all and I need me metabolism back and also my bodys natural state of histamines.

I'm hoping you guys will wish me luck.

[JohnC]

John - that photos beacons for me drone ! - What a trip if I could send it your way. :)

I'll keep my eye to the sky :)

[Ponder]

A story I wrote last night - could not sleep:

__________________________________________________ __

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/Off_Caesar_zps94f1baef.jpg

Second Coming!

It was a pitiful attempt that these humans displayed when first contact was made. Whilst nukes exploded against the hull of the colossal sized space fairing vessel, the aliens within were busy processing the damage that mankind had done. They posed a much greater risk than originally thought; to this planet the aliens had previously been. To no avail had the leaders of Earth, come close to scratching the alien’s ship. It was only after the firing stopped and days passed without incident, that the alien craft broke orbit ... only to descend!

Thousands upon thousands of humans filled the valley, which surrounded the sacred site where the vessel was reported to be landing. Many of these humans were wearing robes and kneeling on mats, others dressed in suits with clutched hands and bowed heads. Others not so poised, where singing, dancing and babbling. Suddenly a great silence befell the mob as the light of day clear across the land, was blotted out by the incoming mother ship still several hundred meters above.

There it sat, a city sized space craft suspended sky high. Suddenly a smaller craft that was ejected from its side. The valley then lit up once more. Artificial light coming from several points from under the mother ship. The smaller craft grew in size as it approached its mark. It made no sound, nor stirred the dust as it neared. All of mankind looking on speechless with baited breath, as now this craft came to a hover, holding position for several minutes, fifty meters above the ground. Suddenly several huge segmented struts extended from this smaller ship. Each strut had webbed feet that sunk several feet into the ground whilst the ship came to a complete rest. During this process a ramp extended. It was several meters wide coming down at an angle that saw it land about one hundred meters from the ship.

What happened next would be one for the history books, if it were not for the fact that these humans were about to be wiped out! A lion and lioness first appeared – In disbelief the crowed could only look on with jaws opened wide. It has been about a hundred years since humans wiped out all animal and plant life. Humans lived off “Synthetic – Nano – Organic – Replicating - Technology” SNORT – (the more educated organizations protested about the replication processes, but philosophers augured if you take the “Replication” out of the equation, that everyone would end up eating SNOT – ) Many embraced the technology as a blessing from God and fell into line. From that point humans started snorting for breakfast, lunch and tea.

Now back to the ramp and gobsmacked sheep:

A lone cry suddenly broke what seemed like a deathly silence. “Praise the Lord! – God has sent a New Ark!”, then a pair gorillas then made their way onto the ramp to which another human cried – “OMG it’s true!” – Then more animals appeared – a couple of Panthers – Rhinos – Buffaloes – even a pair of Polar bears. The crowed of people were now back to their chanting, moaning, dancing and babbling – They rolled out their carpets once more and started to bow – whilst those dressed in suits raised their hands jumping up and down.



A lone figure wearing a white hooded robe carrying what looked like a shepherd’s staff made his way between the animals as they opened a path then regrouped, now poised behind this figure with its staff. The two gorillas previously mentioned now by its side. At the sight of this taking place, the humans fell to their knees in absolute astonishment. Deathly silence now filled the void between them and the ramp, with the climax building to that lone figure now raising its staff. With a mighty roar that filled the valley and shook the earth – all the animals raced past this would be prophet and devoured every last human but for one. One wearing a black robe with a white color, leather bound book and cross in hand.

The lone figure with its staff now standing over this only survivor pulls its hood back, to briskly stare long and hard into this human’s eyes. In words so clearly understood, despite its husky ape voice it said; “Who did you expect?”

[Ponder]

No rave reviews hey. LOL -

Well the good news is I actually got some sleep last night. I did however stay up for 20 hours prior to that. I think I needed to.

What's even better, is that I did not wake with the extreme itching. If tonight and the next and seem to handle the itching then I guess things are going to be bearable on that front after all.

Still backing off the excretion though as I did have hot flushes (if a man can say such a thing LOL ) - Tingles that came in waves like my imune system on the brinc about ready to give into flew like systems - the onset of a fever type of feeling. Like when exercising too much and backing off for fear of turning sick. Felt like hot flushes to me. Came over my head and down my neck with that sweating feeling, but I know it's coming off the meds, because with regards to my itching - I've actually increased my sexual activity this week.

The wife says to me "DARL!!!"

"yea!" Comes my reply through the double doors via the sun room from my computer.

"Says here that having sex is good for histamine imbalance"

"Righto Darl - You know you have to be careful telling me things like that!"

"Yea, but it goes on to say it's only effective when you do it slow and last for longer periods of time."

"Arrrrr for fucks sake! Your on that damn Facebook Again!!!!!!!!"
________________________________________

So as I say, "The scratching has not been so bad of late" Not solved, but getting there. :) hehe.

[Ponder]

Speaking of thoughts :)

Is response to the controversial documentary: better yet / In response to the bigots who suppress our quality for exploration on every level:
The Mars Underground
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDWvsdEYSqg

Repetitive I know - but a mantra the lends to breaking the veil that dogma seeks to consume and own.

Current state of affairs regarding Space Exploration and those who see as as Superior beings:

Forty Years since the moon - Nothing but war and self interest since then:
__________________________________________


We have devastated the planet with such vanity to think of ourselves as Superior. Einstein hits the nail on the head with his quote "I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots." (Get rid of religion and then we'll be capable ... of interaction.) That day has long passed with now being that time, so much so, that the world isnow controlled by such idiots. Worsened by those that will not think for themselves. Man should have been on mars and already mining in space long ago - We have become too ignorant and no longer strive for such things - those whom attempt to do so, are reined in by even more ignorance - Religiosity - they will not fund such exploration. They are in fact against it. They are more interested in controlling and binding those left on this Rock. They live for the second coming and fund only war - not a future in space or peace for all. They hold the key for it's their ideals that now rule the state and secular mind. Our science and exploration is rather stagnant until we rid ourselves of such fools. Better yet, identify such calamity, re-educate, re-assimilate, repair and move on. We have gone backwards - not forwards - We are far from an intelligent species or at the very least, have squandered such an evolutionary state. We think way too much of ourselves.

Those that "bicker" about mars and the moon are no better and completely miss the point. They debate like religious people addicted to conflict full stop. Perhaps nothing more than over the top patriot idealists racing to claim their space, or simply put ... as Einstein says -> Idiots! We would do well to rid ourselves of them too. They by telling & We by not saying; fall prey to the fallibility of which I speak.

PS:
PS - Seen Nasa TV - Has an Evangelical feel to it. Nasa has gone backwards on so many levels. Even Astronomy FM seems desperate with such a compromising over selling type of thing. Best as I can explain and or see. Each to their own I guess. I'm bias due to being screwed up as a kid in one of those babbling Jesus tents. None the less, I think I have a unique perspective that accepts, where not going anywhere soon - as a species, it's not looking good. Best to speak out than not at all!

[Dahila]

Do not have hope hehehe they will find the "God's will " in exploring the space too. The movie looks interesting...if the time allows I will watch it:))
I liked your story I think it is awesome, but I am scifi freak, maybe my voice does not count?

[Ponder]

Honestly - I'm over worrying about that part of it - I am starting to find hope however, in other things. Glad you liked my little story - was just for fun to pass the time and perhaps the beginnings of more practice to come. I have to run now, but would like to elaborate when I get back from my walk.

[Ponder]

Here is my attempt at a Mindfulness Video Testimonial.

Kind of got my words mixed up and did not want to go much more than 6 minutes. Just saying where I come from and how it helps me. That's all. Best I can do for the moment. Let me know if you can understand me please.

TY - enjoy it whiles it's up, you know how I later delete these things. :)

David's Video:

David & Mindfulness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw3ZI_plKYo&feature=youtu.be

I do these things because they help me and maybe just one more like me - nothing me and nothing less.

[Dahila]

I had watched, and I have no problem to understand you, I just have to listen and focus. Australian accent is so cute :) Thank you very much for the video;)

[Ponder]

Speech is not something I practice in front of a mirror or digitally perfect before addressing the crowds. I much prefer the ease that words come, when typing them onto my computers screen.

Three nights now without any pills and as you saw, and a walk into the bush. The track is meant for pushbikes with walkers instructed to remain hyper aware and immediately get off the track when bikes appear. There seems to also be a lot of sneers from those that think they own the track. There was a lot of bikes there yesterday so now I don't even walk on the track which is fine by me. I'm going to find yet another area by simply pulling the car over and walking where there is no entrance at all. The issue there is finding a flat enough spot off the coastal roads, as most are built up high to avoid being flooded over. My car is but a mere two wheel drive, unlike most town tractors people drive these days. I have a few spots in-mind.

For now I found another point where I lost myself in the sky. It's where a number of ferries transport peoples and their vehicles across to the island on the other side.

__________________________________________________ __

I live about one quarter along the "horizon of the land",starting from the left where the land gives way to the see. It took about half an hour by car to reach this point. I did go through the town that that took me well into the upper right along the coast line before coming close the River Heads Rd; the one so clearly pictured leading to this point.


It was quite a windy day, however not so much as to stop me from trying at all. The winds blew in steady and gusting from the east, (right side of image) I took shelter on the smaller boat ramp with boat now pictured who's occupant later showed great interested in what I was doing.

I'm the one up in the air taking this shot but, from the ground. It often takes another to touch me on the shoulder to remind of that fact. :)


https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5615/14945615584_cec766d5a7_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/oLGbPj)
I was Here (https://flic.kr/p/oLGbPj) by L_Plate_Dave (https://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

[Ponder]

Dave's continuing Recovery - Day 5 off medication
__________________________________________________ ___

Obstacles To Concentration
Audio Dharama

http://www.audiodharma.org/talks/audio_player/5121.html
____________________________________

It's a good podcast I thought you might enjoy Dahila. It's about Breathing - they mention a practice called "sumadije" and to be quite honest, I have no interest in "studying it" per se. I sometimes wonder how often we go over the top with the analyzing, however I guess it's all in the practice. During the episode, all I could think about is how I connect with whatever as I go for my walks. Especially under the trees. I have a lot of mindfulness walking to do yet, that I can draw upon and use my writing as yet another tool to continue such a practice as I recall the experience far more than a just a typical check list of events.

It wont be long before I move on yet again. - This place is really a polar opposite for me. In fact - You could say I already began an affirmation to boost my will for such a journey when I previously stated my need for approval; very much now diminished. I think a New Blog to reflect my current state of recovery a much better place to be. Things change - staying in one spot gets too stagnant for me, as too long term medication and the self reliance in that for those who choose to do nothing else but live a life of gauging side effects Vs past health Or go to the other extreme of living off inflated promises that are short lived with disappointment being that which sets the path of misery that's hard to escape. I see this place very much that way.

In fact - I think I've just decided ... it's indeed time for me to move on.
_________________________

Is just my view (which is neither right or wrong - it's just me as is my audience at that) and if true ... then why should I hold myself back. No links - No followings ... Just is as is and should be.

I'm moving on.

Take Care.

Dave.

PS I leave you with this: - I have now found a new Title and so very glad I took the time to write it as I did. It could not be me so much clearer to me than now. I hope to write deep from the heart and find more strength from lessons learned and still the teaching comes. The world will never make sense to me - despite the glimpse of clarity - I will continue to struggle with my social skills, but can continue to share in others way. Everyone is off ignore now and I wish you all Peace!


_______________________________
__________
_

Moving On


Whilst sitting still and all alone
Amidst the people passing by.
My muddled mind begins to moan,
I cup my hands and start to cry.

I’m thankful for the inbound trains
That masks the pain inside myself,
The constant noise that dulls the shame,
Yet one more night without a bed.

With morning rush now past its mark
And hunger setting in,
I scan in search across the park
For food left by the bin.

The sun now greets the standing grass;
My eyes give in and close.
Still aware of those that pass,
Pain takes its place and grows.

My mind starts to rot, heart grows weak,
feelings fade - now nothing left;
Days; and ; Nights, become one long beat,
What was; once; within; is now dead … … _______________


http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/Moving-on_zpsf753b9ad.png

My Unique Perspective:
Now Moving On ;)

[Enduronman]

Love ya bro...
Wishing you the best Dave!

E-Man :)

[Exactice]

Keep it up Ponder, Let if flow..... Makes things lest cluttered upstairs when you let it out!!! We are here with you buddy!