About to Give Up on Partner Who Suffers From Anxiety

[Leslie28]

This is my first time on a forum. I don't really know where to begin since I've been with my partner for 14 years, we are high school sweethearts. It's been a roller-coaster for sure. I'm 28, not married, and no kids. My partner suffers from GAD and Panic Attacks along with Hypochondriac and at one point Agoraphobia. I'm really re-thinking if this is something I want to deal with for the rest of my life. Just as it's going good, it gets worse again which I know is expected. Not only do we have other problems, this makes it even harder. For 14 years he blamed me for never being there for him, not knowing how to comfort him, or talk to him - making me always feel inadequate no matter what I did. Now he just told me, all those years it was him. He said he never wanted to open up to me so he blamed me for not being there for him. I don't even know how to process that. I'm so used to him not talking to me about it, now he wants to open up and express what he's feeling each day for an hour which I always wanted but for some reason, maybe because circumstances have changed (less intimate both physically and emotionally) - it seems very overwhelming to me especially when some of the things he tells me terrifies me or is just flat out ridiculous which he also knows. I have so much resentment for how he made me feel so inadequate all those years among other issues we have. I just want to say forget it all and move on with my life. I don't see it getting any better. I feel like I take the brunt of everything and sacrifice so much. I don't want my children to have to live through that. Most of all, I don't feel appreciated for all I do. I handle everything from the work,housework, planning things, etc. I don't feel like I have a partner. I don't have many friends so I can't really express myself to anyone. If I tell my mom, she takes it out on him which I don't want. I'm just here to vent really.

[JustaGal]

I think it is important to take care of your self. You dont want more years to pass and you regret how you spent your life and resent him even more. If you feel you need to move on, go with what you need for your well being.



This is my first time on a forum. I don't really know where to begin since I've been with my partner for 14 years, we are high school sweethearts. It's been a roller-coaster for sure. I'm 28, not married, and no kids. My partner suffers from GAD and Panic Attacks along Hypochondriac and at one point Agoraphobia. I'm really re-thinking if this is something I want to deal with for the rest of my life. Just as it's going good, it gets worse again which I know is expected. Not only do we have other problems, this makes it even harder. For 14 years he blamed me for never being there for him, not knowing how to comfort him, or talk to him - making me always feel inadequate no matter what I did. Now he just told me, all those years it was him. He never wanted to open up to me so he blamed me for not being there for him. I don't even know how to process that. I'm so used to him not talking to me about it, now he wants to open up and express what he's feeling each day for an hour which I always wanted but for some reason, maybe because circumstances have changed (less intimate both physically and emotionally) - it seems very overwhelming to me especially when some of the things he tells me terrifies me or is just flat out ridiculous. I have so much resentment for how he made me feel so inadequate all those years among other issues we have. I just want to say forget it all and move on with my life. I don't see it getting any better. I feel like I take the brunt of everything and sacrifice so much. I don't want my children to have to live through that. Most of all, I don't feel appreciated for all I do. This summer I supported him in leaving his job because it was causing his anxiety to worsen. I handle everything, I don't feel like I have a partner. I don't have many friends so I can't really express myself to anyone. I'm just here to vent really. I know I will probably get a lot of harsh comebacks.

[Dahila]

Leslie I kind of know what you are going through, my situation was similar, I know you do not want to hurt him, but you have one life and you can not to be manipulated to put your life on hold. If you will like the relationship is not what it should be, explain about it to him and leave. It is ok to be a bit selfish, and everyone deserves love, acceptance, and appreciation. You want the children it is about time, you are in your prime, even woman have children in almost every age now, the years 25 to 35 is the best to have them, for a different reasons. Fourteen years is a long time, if it had not worked it is not going to work, ever. Good luck

[JustaGal]

Leslie I kind of know what you are going through, my situation was similar, I know you do not want to hurt him, but you have one life and you can not to be manipulated to put your life on hold. If you will like the relationship is not what it should be, explain about it to him and leave. It is ok to be a bit selfish, and everyone deserves love, acceptance, and appreciation. You want the children it is about time, you are in your prime, even woman have children in almost every age now, the years 25 to 35 is the best to have them, for a different reasons. Fourteen years is a long time, if it had not worked it is not going to work, ever. Good luck

I agree with that