Hotline: Ask Me About Your Problem

[Try_Repeat]

Hello Everybody!

Here you can put your questions about your anxiety, panic attacks, depression, phobias etc., and I will give you an answer and I will try to provide some help. Why ask me, some unfamiliar person in internet? So you came to this forum, where you already question some unknown users about your case. Why not to ask a person who had PA's, depression, anxiety in his past and successfully overcame it? This person is me! Though I am not a psychotherapist, I have an experience of helping people with panic attacks and providing the help pills and some doctors couldn't provide. Yes, and I have already helped a lot of people to overcome their anxiety through private help or through articles on my blog. So please be free to ask anything.

Only be reminded of following:

1) I will not provide a magic advice for you, which will bring an instant remedy. I am here to help you to help yourself. There are no quick solutions for anxiety related problems. You have to make an effort and have patience to overcome it. Or even change yourself. I don't perceive depression like some decease as cancer, for example, It's more manifestation of human nature. That nature we can change.
2) Please be brief. No need to describe all the circumstances of your life. I don't work with the past like many doctors. I work with the present.
3) No private messages please! You may think that your problem is unique. But let some other people to find similarities in their own cases. So better that everyone with same issues can read my response to you.
4) Before you implement my recommendations some of you should develop essential mental skills. Imagine that I am professional gymnast and you ask me about making some difficult gymnastic trick. I can give you an instruction, but it doesn't mean you will do that. For that you need 2 things: strong and flexible muscles and practice, much practice! Talking and advising is not enough! So don't think that your mind can do everything. It has many and many skills to lean in order to overcome depression and panic. That's why I am prescribing meditation to everybody, not as only benign antidepressant, but a way to improve you mind and mental skills.
5) I am sure antidepressants don't cure anybody. So don't ask me about pills. I took some of them, but then I quit and moved to other methods.

So, that's all! Be free to tell about your problems!

[Dahila]

I will be first; I have a terrible phobia about snakes, does not matter the size. I have some garden snakes in my garden, it just terrify me, even I know they are beneficial feeding on snails. Any suggestion?
I bet that many people here have the same phobia. I am not scared of spiders though, can take them in my hand.

[Kuma]

Why do you say "I am sure antidepressants don't cure anybody"? There are MANY people who believe that they have been helped by taking anti-depressants. Maybe they did not work well for you, but it seems a pretty strong statement to say you are "sure" that they do not cure anybody.

Maybe it depends what you mean by "cure." I suppose they may not make anxiety or depression magically disappear. But they have, for many people -- though not for everyone -- materially improved quality of life.

Also, maybe you can tell us more about your experience with anxiety and how you overcame it?

[Dahila]

Ad are only temporary relieve............I tried them all, just remember living with it for almost 50 years:)) still kicking

[Try_Repeat]

I will be first; I have a terrible phobia about snakes, does not matter the size. I have some garden snakes in my garden, it just terrify me, even I know they are beneficial feeding on snails. Any suggestion?
I bet that many people here have the same phobia. I am not scared of spiders though, can take them in my hand.
Hi!

Being afraid of snakes is natural, it's implemented in us with evolution. Those individuals in ancient times who didn't have that fear died more often that those who were afraid of snakes. Because fearless guys took snakes and played with them, were bitten, died and were not able to transfer their genes (genes, which were not encoded with fear of snakes) to the next generations. That's why that fear came as a result of natural selection.

So I am writing it not just for example. I want to illustrate the idea, that phobias, panic attacks, anxiety are not really illnesses (not in every case), but something that comes from our nature. It is natural to fear death, to become anxious when your health goes bad, to think obsessive thoughts connected to some problem, try to avoid situations that cause fear. These are mechanisms made by evolution to help us to survive in ancient times. But in present times they sometimes become uncontrolled and cause many problems. That's why depression and panic attacks are so hard nuts and many people cannot cope with that. Because they base on natural mechanisms! And that is why many different methods of therapy, pills become useless. Why you stay in habitual natural paradigm, making a big deal of your fears and emotions, you cannot really remove the reasons for your fear.

If it's natural it doesn't mean we cannot change it, because sometimes this ancient program goes bad, for example in case of panic attacks: there is usually no threat for us, but we experience fear, we 'believe' our fear (we act like there is a real threat), because that is how we evolved! Nature wants us to act so in case of fear that way! And it doesn't matter what we fear: real threat or just illusion. Panic attack is a state of being inside an illusion.

Sorry that I talked so much. I just wanted to make my beliefs more clear=) If the snakes in your garden are poisonous your fear makes sense, it's good you fear them! Your fear protects you! But if they are not and you have to see them every day your fear makes a problem. So you see, our evolutionary mechanisms are sometimes blind: sometimes fear protects you, sometimes it makes problem. Developing your mind and awareness through meditation helps you to chose between normal fears and problem fears and not just to blindly obey your ancient instincts. So you can say: "Okay, I was programmed to fear snakes by nature, but I know snakes in my garden don't make any threat, I will listen to my mind, not silly fear, and I will reprogramme myself that way!" Sorry again for interrupting my advice, but I wanted to mention that developing your mind doesn't mean suppressing your fears, it just gives you awareness, clear vision on the problem and a freedom to choose what to fear and what to fear not! Let your mind make a choice, not blind instincts.

So returning to your problem, you can train yourself not to being emotionally attached to the vision of snake. Close your eyes, imagine how you take a snake, how it crawls on your body, but just observe this picture, don't put any critical judgement to it. First you will feel disgust, but just observe this feeling also. When you notice that you mind starts thinking of a snake, how bad and disgusting is it, just redirect your attention back to observing imaginary images of a snakes. Do that for 5 minutes every day. From the time your mind will train not to experience emotional reaction to snakes. You do only this, no magic! Just re-programming! (You change your reaction to anything that way! Not only snakes!) Then you can observe a real snake in your garden, do it without critical reaction, when you notice your mind making it, refocus your attention on observation.

But please avoid dangerous snakes! Use your mind!=)

[Try_Repeat]

Why do you say "I am sure antidepressants don't cure anybody"? There are MANY people who believe that they have been helped by taking anti-depressants. Maybe they did not work well for you, but it seems a pretty strong statement to say you are "sure" that they do not cure anybody.

Maybe it depends what you mean by "cure." I suppose they may not make anxiety or depression magically disappear. But they have, for many people -- though not for everyone -- materially improved quality of life.

Also, maybe you can tell us more about your experience with anxiety and how you overcame it?

Hello!

My believe in effectiveness of antidepressants is based on following:

1) I suppose there is not scientific evidence that therapy based only on pills removes depression even when you stop using them. It there is, It will be interesting for me to read about it. Please provide a link, if you know something. I believe that pills act like painkillers, remove pain, but not eliminate the source of pain. That what I mean "not being cured". Even if you speak that to fix depression you only have to fix chemical imbalance by direct influence on it, I don't understand how it will stay "fixed" after you cancel drugs. Drugs are drugs, you can't just smoke marijuana for a half a year and then quit and stay high all your life. That is true for pills: you are "high" on them for some time, but it doesn't fix the whole problem and you are not high when you stop.
2) I am not denying that AD can be beneficial as a complimentary thing to other therapy, when the patient simply can't perform any work or therapy because he feels so bad. But it should be not used as a only remedy.
3) Okay, even when your panic attacks or depression passed when you took a course of AD, what you going to do when you experience stress again and panic will return? have more pills? And if they doesn't work? You become depended on pills. But to successfully remove the cause of attacks or depression you have to develop essential mental skills which help you to react different to your fear or bad mood. If you do, you will not be helpless if fear returns. Pills will not do that.
4) Sometimes PA's or depression are the results of some hidden problem. It is not wise only to remove the symptoms of the problem as pills do. You have to work with the problem. Speaking about me, I am happy that I had PA's and depression. Because they gave me opportunities to seek for problems in myself and fix them.
5) Pills are dangerous, have addiction and side effects.

As for me I overcame anxiety through meditation. But no just sitting and meditating. Meditation is only instrument for self work, that need to be done to remove the cause of depression.

[Dahila]

Thank you Try repeat like always awesome post. I do meditate every day, maybe I should do it twice a day. I am trying but it does not helps a lot. My hubby did help puting the board around the garden; inside the fence. They need grass to come into garden, so no snakes for two last months. I have also so many toads; I love them even they are consider ugly. Toads and snakes do not stay in the same space, so toads anytime:))
I will try to convince myself that it is natural and it is not phobia, it should help:) thank you

[Try_Repeat]

Dahila, what meditation technique you use? For people with depression or panic, in my opinion, it is better to use focusing on breath technique, because mantra, affirmations distracts you from observing your fears, emotions. Despite the fact that meditation makes you calm and feels better it shouldn't be a kind of sanctuary where you can hide from your fears. It is a way to face them and break emotional attachment to them, observe them and react to them peacefully, accept everything that comes in your head: good or bad, scary or pleasant. Meditation is not the way to force yourself to be happy or to see only good things. This is a way to accept everything and treat it with love: fear or sadness.

[Try_Repeat]

There are two ways of coping with fear you can use them both. First is to try to remove fear itself: maybe do dome diaphragmatic breathing, meditation, relaxation techniques, etc. But don't get attached to it! If it doesn't work (and it will not work every time because we are not able to control everything), then ok. The second step is to accept fear, don't be afraid of fear, just not to pay attention to it.

I live in India now, and here are a lot of big insects I don't see in Russia. And sometimes some big, fat, black roaches fly into my bedroom. I don't want to kill them, but I want somehow to throw them out of my room. Yes, can't say I am not afraid of them, I feel disgust. But I don't waste my time to remove fear. I just don't listen to the voice of my instincts "danger! danger! fear!" I just take the roach and let it fly out of my house.

Fear is an evolutionary mechanism who acts like chemical alarm, in case of danger it releases adrenaline to prepare our body for running or fighting. We fear insects because some of them can be poisonous or infectious. But if you know that insect don't cause any thread, but you inner alarm still ringing, you don't have every time to turn alarm off. Just don't listen to it!

What is panic attack? This is broken alarm: it sounds when there is not threat. Don't believe it! It's broken! Maybe try to turn it off, but if nothing works, don't pay attention to it!

[Dahila]

I use breath meditation;)) it is the only one which allow me to meditate, you know that after so many years your body listen to your mind, then relax, and you are in. Following the breath is the easiest for me. Mantras never appealed to me, I had tried. Try , I am so old , I had tried everything including strict vegetarian diet for over 3 years. Being a follower of Mahatma Ghandi for years it was the only way. My only regret is I had never the opportunity to go to monastery in Birma or anywhere else to spend some time, recharging my body and mind:)
Meditation for me is not the sanctuary, I am trying to face the fears. the trauma I had in my childhood finally is coming out and I can find my peace acknowledge it. It is slow and painful process but it is happening. I had never had any therapy due my unwillingness to talk about myself. I would rather listen others. It is what I do, and I was born to do. Meditation is a way to get rid of other's energy. Honestly I was depressed only ones or twice and, it was for a short time. My problem is chronic insomnia and panic attacks. I am not happy or sad, I just am. I am on meds also. It seems to help. No AD for me, intolerance. Even my doc is intrigued how I manage and combine my treatment with meditation :)

How is in India? I know about flying huge roaches. They are awful. You must be careful living there what you eat and drink. One of my friends goes there every year for a few months. He is in a good place in his life, calm, accepting having so much good energy around him; like you Try, like you:)

[Try_Repeat]

Ok i see=)) Good. Try to meditate on your fear.

When you have panic attack:

1) Sit calmly, close your eyes and just observe your fear, don't get involved into it. See in what parts of your body it causes effects. Observe any symptoms in your body like tension or pain, don't do anything with it, don't try to control it, just watch. Use panic attacks like training ground for awareness and observation.If you could handle with fear in such situations, you will learn to handle any other emotions in other situations! Use that chance. Panic attacks gives you opportunities. If I hadn't had panic attacks, there would not be my site and all my positive life change. Panic attacks and depression only made me meditate. I felt like I didn't have choice. Meditation gave me much more than just liberating from fear and depression.
2) Another technique requires more courage. You can try not only to observe your fear, but to increase it, to make it worse. And you must free from desire to get rid of it. Just increase your fear and see how far can that rabbit hole lead to. You will discover that not so far. Your fear will not kill you or do you mad, it can just even pass away after this exercise, as if he will be offended by the fact you don't take him serious and just play with him.

That is only two examples you (yes, only one, but there are many other!) can use skills, gained by meditation against panic. Can you do it without meditation? I guess some people can. But many people who don't meditate still identify themselves with their fear. And how can you observe your fear if you still feel that you and fear is one thing? And their mind is not so calm yet for such tricks. That's what I am talking about saying that meditation is not a magic pill. It gives your power and skill, but not instant remedy.



India is good! I have travelled north in Himalayas, it's like Tibet, I guess, but without Chinese. On plains is different. I enjoyed Varanasi, sacred city of Hindu, but that was kind of shocking experience (dead burning bodies on the banks of Ganga, poverty, dirt) but still very good. It's very beautiful very ancient city, didn't radically changed for several millenniums. Now I stay on quiet and peaceful malabar shore in Kerala. It's like another country, comparing with Northern India. I enjoy it very much! I have better opportunities for my work and personal development here.

1464

[Dahila]

Beautiful are you going to share some more of India, land of gurus, and meditation, I wish i could go back in time, and visit Tibet. Before Chinese started to occupy it.:)

[LisaDL]

Hi, (TRY REPEAT)

Ive noticed that I get mad heart palps if I smoke my hub / shisha ??? ive been smoking it for years but past 2 weeks ive been getting palpiations I tried it again and again but it still happens? any advice on what I can do

[anxietyrob]

I have a massive Phobia about Blood, the sight, the thought is enough to set me off..... I had a bad head injury at about 12, maybe this set if off??? It bled like a fountain!

[1Bluerose68]

How may i become NOT afraid of Failure. Sometimes I am so anxious that i almost pass out as my neck muscles tense up and i fail to breath right under stress. So theoretically cant I die if I become to stressed out and anxious??? How not to Naturally strangle myself w/ muscle tension and lack of breathing under duress???

[lukeypoo1412]

Ok i see=)) Good. Try to meditate on your fear.

When you have panic attack:

1) Sit calmly, close your eyes and just observe your fear, don't get involved into it. See in what parts of your body it causes effects. Observe any symptoms in your body like tension or pain, don't do anything with it, don't try to control it, just watch. Use panic attacks like training ground for awareness and observation.If you could handle with fear in such situations, you will learn to handle any other emotions in other situations! Use that chance. Panic attacks gives you opportunities. If I hadn't had panic attacks, there would not be my site and all my positive life change. Panic attacks and depression only made me meditate. I felt like I didn't have choice. Meditation gave me much more than just liberating from fear and depression.
2) Another technique requires more courage. You can try not only to observe your fear, but to increase it, to make it worse. And you must free from desire to get rid of it. Just increase your fear and see how far can that rabbit hole lead to. You will discover that not so far. Your fear will not kill you or do you mad, it can just even pass away after this exercise, as if he will be offended by the fact you don't take him serious and just play with him.

That is only two examples you (yes, only one, but there are many other!) can use skills, gained by meditation against panic. Can you do it without meditation? I guess some people can. But many people who don't meditate still identify themselves with their fear. And how can you observe your fear if you still feel that you and fear is one thing? And their mind is not so calm yet for such tricks. That's what I am talking about saying that meditation is not a magic pill. It gives your power and skill, but not instant remedy.



India is good! I have travelled north in Himalayas, it's like Tibet, I guess, but without Chinese. On plains is different. I enjoyed Varanasi, sacred city of Hindu, but that was kind of shocking experience (dead burning bodies on the banks of Ganga, poverty, dirt) but still very good. It's very beautiful very ancient city, didn't radically changed for several millenniums. Now I stay on quiet and peaceful malabar shore in Kerala. It's like another country, comparing with Northern India. I enjoy it very much! I have better opportunities for my work and personal development here.

1464

I have troubles with fear of terminal illnesses. My recent scare was with MS. I had the typical numbness and tingling in my feet and immediately asked doctor google what I had. I went through several doctors appointments and two MRIs and everything checked out normal. I still get the tingling and muscle spasms, especially when anxious. Instead of being relieved, I find it difficult to move on, like I need to find an explanation for my feelings, even though I'm well aware my anxiety could be the culprit. I find myself just thinking something worse must be going on every time a test comes back normal. I was able to confront the fear of ms, I eventually just accepted that I had it (until the MRI came back normal). Now I find it difficult to confront my fears because they don't have a face.

[Try_Repeat]

Hi, (TRY REPEAT)

Ive noticed that I get mad heart palps if I smoke my hub / shisha ??? ive been smoking it for years but past 2 weeks ive been getting palpiations I tried it again and again but it still happens? any advice on what I can do
Hi Lisa!

What do you mean by shisha? This:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hookah

or Marijuana?

Well no matter what of these, it's better to quit it, these two things are not good for health=)

About palpations I can't tell exactly it's better to see a doctor. First you have to be sure that everything is ok with your heart. If it's ok, don't be anxious of palpitations, and it's better don't try to control it (though you can use sometimes slow breathing) let it be, don't worry, heartbeat will stop by itself. If you worry about heartbeat you increase your heartbeat and worry more and... You understand=)

Once I laid in sensory deprivating tank for an hour. It was claustrophobiac experience, and first I got little anxious, and was aware of increased heartbeat. Attempts to control it, to force myself to relax binged no good. But then I just tried not to pay attention to increased heartbeat, I let it go, and I didn't noticed how I became relaxed and my heart beat became normal. So it's better to let go control and not to pay attention sometimes=)

[Try_Repeat]

I have a massive Phobia about Blood, the sight, the thought is enough to set me off..... I had a bad head injury at about 12, maybe this set if off??? It bled like a fountain!Hi Rob!

Yeah, maybe this phobia is connected to some painful experience in your childhood, but it doesn't make big concern. I work with present, not the past! You can't go in time machine in your childhood and make things different there. But what you can do it's to change your reaction to certain things in your present, no matter what this reaction was cause by.

I think it's a matter of habit. Many future doctors feel sick when they first see blood, but then they get used to it. It proves that you can train your mind not to react so, even if you have a phobia.

Maybe I will give you an advice like I gave to Dahila. For example you cut your finger and have blood. Just watch this blood for 1 or 2 minutes and observe any feeling and thought which arouses in you. Don't get involved in emotions of thoughts, be an observer When you notice that some thoughts take you away from observation, gently return your attention to this process (observing). It is called mindfulness. That is how you train your brain, change your reaction. You can meditate every day (not only on blood) and train this mindful skill (sometimes it is hard to observe your feelings from sideline if you were not trained)

[Try_Repeat]

Sorry Guys, rest of you I will answer later today or tomorrow!

[Try_Repeat]

How may i become NOT afraid of Failure. Sometimes I am so anxious that i almost pass out as my neck muscles tense up and i fail to breath right under stress. So theoretically cant I die if I become to stressed out and anxious??? How not to Naturally strangle myself w/ muscle tension and lack of breathing under duress???

Hi

"So theoretically cant I die if I become to stressed out and anxious???"

The chances for that, I think insignificant. Theoretically you can die from falling meteor. But it's not the reason for being afraid that.

To relax your neck muscles focus your attention on your neck. There are 2 ways, try most appropriate for you:

1) Strain your neck muscles for 5 secs very hard, then quickly release it. It will help them to relax.
2) Just observe the tetion, don't try to remove it, simply watch it, investigate it, watch it slowly fade away. This technique will help you to get out from vicious circle of anxiety.

Also you can do some yoga exercises on your neck, to feel it better, to learn to relax it. Anyway I think that almost every person with anxiety should do meditation and yoga regularly!

"How may i become NOT afraid of Failure"

First you have to be aware that the more you afraid of failure the more there is a chance of failure. It's like fearing wild dog. But you shouldn't just tell yourself: "I have to stop worrying, because I will fail". Not that way! It will cause more anxiety. Just relax, let everything go as it goes. If your fail you fail. If you win you win. Stop putting negative connotation to failure: everybody makes mistakes. If you meditate every day, that will be easier for you.

[Try_Repeat]

I have troubles with fear of terminal illnesses. My recent scare was with MS. I had the typical numbness and tingling in my feet and immediately asked doctor google what I had. I went through several doctors appointments and two MRIs and everything checked out normal. I still get the tingling and muscle spasms, especially when anxious. Instead of being relieved, I find it difficult to move on, like I need to find an explanation for my feelings, even though I'm well aware my anxiety could be the culprit. I find myself just thinking something worse must be going on every time a test comes back normal. I was able to confront the fear of ms, I eventually just accepted that I had it (until the MRI came back normal). Now I find it difficult to confront my fears because they don't have a face.

Sorry, just had problems with local food and was off for some days=)

First you should identify instructive thoughts of terminal illness as instructive thoughts. I mean you have to be aware that by thinking these thoughts you will not fix any problem. And by consulting doctor Google you will not do it either. On the contrary you will make some problems by thinking. So just go to some diagnostics to be sure that you have no terminal illness. Then just forget about it. When thoughts come, remember that they are just obsessions, they are not connected to reality and gently redirect your attention someone else. Do it every time when thoughts come. Don't try break these thoughts with logic and thinking, it's useless, your mind will increase the obsession. What you have to do it's stop involving with your mind in these thoughts, just let them come and don't pay attention to them. It seems hard and it seems hard, but it would be easier if you meditate every day. By meditating you increase the power of your attention, you better control it and notice when new obsession come.

[fitness2477]

Hi try_repeat,

Thanks for this awesome thread. Are your still around?

Main reason for my anxiety is I tend to hyperfocus on the problem and can't shake it off. I observe it 24/7 in the back of my mind whether I'm on the computer, talking to someone, eating a meal, etc.

How can I break free from focusing on the problem?


Thanks!

[Im-Suffering]

Hi try_repeat,

Thanks for this awesome thread. Are your still around?

Main reason for my anxiety is I tend to hyperfocus on the problem and can't shake it off. I observe it 24/7 in the back of my mind whether I'm on the computer, talking to someone, eating a meal, etc.

How can I break free from focusing on the problem?


Thanks!

Your answer was given in your own thread. You need no mystical, eastern teaching, nor is there anything to 'break free' from, as was given in that thread.

http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?30909-brain-injury-and-anxiety