Need some advice on this (sorry its long)

[Shaun]

Hey all hope life is being easy on you. My problem is pretty much off subject my mind is racing so I just want to get it off my mind more than anything but some advice your views off people would be great. Well I'm going to try an keep it short an but still get the picture I'm on about. well I've had anxiety disorder most my life I've been agoraphobic 4 years now, I lost hope in life ocd everyday just tormented I was rock bottom this time last year, but through this year I've pushed my self to improve my quality of life lying in bed all day ay no good but I've improved loads I'm now walking round house in the day I can go out my back garden etc small things but to me they're huge. Anyways 2 months ago I got talking to this women on Facebook we spoke 2 years ago but lost contact, now we've reunited eventually I told her everything about me, we spoke on the phone etc for like a month an half an she said wanted to come to mine I said I don't know I was pretty anxious at the thought bearing In mind I've only recently started improving in my self an didn't wanna rush things but I plucked up all my courage an let her I was pretty shaky when she came but over some many visits I become ok with it. Then one day she said she'd fell for me I thought oh dear I really liked her to but then I had to come up with this speech saying " oh I'd love a relationship but I'm in no position to have one the way I am I'd be rubbish I'm not that good looking, you can do loads better etc " she wasn't having none of it she kept saying I won't you to be mine at this point I loved her tbh she really grew on me even though I promised my self I wouldn't get my self in that position I still did. Then I come clean I said I'm scared to let love in I just don't want to get hurt cause it just won't do me no good. I said ya got to accept me for who I am, ya might have feelings for me now but in a month or so you'll get fed up of me she promised she wouldn't. So I said if we're both ok and agree in this I'll pop the question so I did on the 20th September she visits me on the weekend since then etc, I've been really nice an sent her flowers an a bottle of perfume. One thing I haven't mentioned she's a mum of 2 an the worst part is her ex lives with her the father to one of her kids. He's only been there for temporally like a month she split up with a lad she's been with 11 months after he moved out Adam moved in an he needed a place to stay for a bit, It didn't bother me at the fact he was living there, I trust an I told her this, anyways one night she popped up on bbm saying oh Adam just tried it on with me tried touching me I pushed him off etc that got me thinking but I then realized why would she tell me if she was hiding something she wouldn't bother saying nothing at all, we had a little fall out but we made up, then after a while again another thing cropped up she message me saying Adam told me to suck his **** I thought ffs I've really had enough of this I said you probably will she said ok then I will she message me again saying I just finished it don't taste as good as yours though at that point I got fed up we fell out all day but we sorted it don't ask how, then today she seemed off with me dunno why when all I've done is show her love an be a proper bloke to her. She said out of the blue sorry I can't do this no more I said what? She replied I slept with Adam this morning and I didn't mean to after a while of talking an getting nowhere I deleted her off bbm, she kept messaging me on whats app and explained in detail an said I was in my room getting dressed he came in an he was upset about something an wanted a hug he said he wanted sex she said no he said you best give it to me else I'll chat loads of shit about you and I'll hit ya. At this point I was angry cause that's bang out if order if he did do that but I believed her an forgive her u don't know if I should of but I did and at the end of this I still love her, we spilt up bit then sorted it she's going on like I don't deserve someone as good as you? Keeps saying sorry so many times etc? Is this guilty conscience eating away at her? I don't want to be to hard on her cause if it's true what her ex is doing I don't wanna ignore it could be some serious domestic abuse he's putting her through but I'm in 2 minds is she lying or telling the truth but I still took her back, an I'm thinking if I've done the right thing? but she did say I swear on my kids life Adam will not come near me again and that's a promise. She said he's going soon an wants him to move out an go somewhere else to live, she seems really sincere an sorry for whats happened, I said I'm willing to give you another chance we can work through this! Did I do the right thing? sorry about how long this is people I'd be so surprised if someone read it all but I just had to get it off my chest any ways like a release of stress etc. bless you all any ways hope everyone's ok 👍

[JustaGal]

Hey all hope life is being easy on you. My problem is pretty much off subject my mind is racing so I just want to get it off my mind more than anything but some advice your views off people would be great. Well I'm going to try an keep it short an but still get the picture I'm on about. well I've had anxiety disorder most my life I've been agoraphobic 4 years now, I lost hope in life ocd everyday just tormented I was rock bottom this time last year, but through this year I've pushed my self to improve my quality of life lying in bed all day ay no good but I've improved loads I'm now walking round house in the day I can go out my back garden etc small things but to me they're huge. Anyways 2 months ago I got talking to this women on Facebook we spoke 2 years ago but lost contact, now we've reunited eventually I told her everything about me, we spoke on the phone etc for like a month an half an she said wanted to come to mine I said I don't know I was pretty anxious at the thought bearing In mind I've only recently started improving in my self an didn't wanna rush things but I plucked up all my courage an let her I was pretty shaky when she came but over some many visits I become ok with it. Then one day she said she'd fell for me I thought oh dear I really liked her to but then I had to come up with this speech saying " oh I'd love a relationship but I'm in no position to have one the way I am I'd be rubbish I'm not that good looking, you can do loads better etc " she wasn't having none of it she kept saying I won't you to be mine at this point I loved her tbh she really grew on me even though I promised my self I wouldn't get my self in that position I still did. Then I come clean I said I'm scared to let love in I just don't want to get hurt cause it just won't do me no good. I said ya got to accept me for who I am, ya might have feelings for me now but in a month or so you'll get fed up of me she promised she wouldn't. So I said if we're both ok and agree in this I'll pop the question so I did on the 20th September she visits me on the weekend since then etc, I've been really nice an sent her flowers an a bottle of perfume. One thing I haven't mentioned she's a mum of 2 an the worst part is her ex lives with her the father to one of her kids. He's only been there for temporally like a month she split up with a lad she's been with 11 months after he moved out Adam moved in an he needed a place to stay for a bit, It didn't bother me at the fact he was living there, I trust an I told her this, anyways one night she popped up on bbm saying oh Adam just tried it on with me tried touching me I pushed him off etc that got me thinking but I then realized why would she tell me if she was hiding something she wouldn't bother saying nothing at all, we had a little fall out but we made up, then after a while again another thing cropped up she message me saying Adam told me to suck his **** I thought ffs I've really had enough of this I said you probably will she said ok then I will she message me again saying I just finished it don't taste as good as yours though at that point I got fed up we fell out all day but we sorted it don't ask how, then today she seemed off with me dunno why when all I've done is show her love an be a proper bloke to her. She said out of the blue sorry I can't do this no more I said what? She replied I slept with Adam this morning and I didn't mean to after a while of talking an getting nowhere I deleted her off bbm, she kept messaging me on whats app and explained in detail an said I was in my room getting dressed he came in an he was upset about something an wanted a hug he said he wanted sex she said no he said you best give it to me else I'll chat loads of shit about you and I'll hit ya. At this point I was angry cause that's bang out if order if he did do that but I believed her an forgive her u don't know if I should of but I did and at the end of this I still love her, we spilt up bit then sorted it she's going on like I don't deserve someone as good as you? Keeps saying sorry so many times etc? Is this guilty conscience eating away at her? I don't want to be to hard on her cause if it's true what her ex is doing I don't wanna ignore it could be some serious domestic abuse he's putting her through but I'm in 2 minds is she lying or telling the truth but I still took her back, an I'm thinking if I've done the right thing? but she did say I swear on my kids life Adam will not come near me again and that's a promise. She said he's going soon an wants him to move out an go somewhere else to live, she seems really sincere an sorry for whats happened, I said I'm willing to give you another chance we can work through this! Did I do the right thing? sorry about how long this is people I'd be so surprised if someone read it all but I just had to get it off my chest any ways like a release of stress etc. bless you all any ways hope everyone's ok 

I could be way wrong, but this sounds like a potential to be damaging to your progress. Baby Daddy drama...her comments about the tasting are unhealthy and twisted. I hope you find someone else when the time is right. No Mother in their right mind would swear on her kids life.

[Exactice]

+1 Justgal..... Baby Daddy Drama is tough and can really lead to some tough times. Sorry dont mean to be the devils advocate but gotta give it to you straight. I had a run in with BBD issues and it was no good.

Your progress is doing so well and you need to stay focused on that. Find another person that is will to work with you and give you the attention you deserve not BRING in more attention that is needed.

You can keep in contact as she seems like you 2 could be great people to lend ears on, but be weary as you need support yourself!