Simply loosing it

[Slammed Vdub]

Hello everyone,

So i have had health anxiety for a long long time. Illness, and specifically vomiting for some reason terrify me. I never used to be that bad, but lately i have been so far off i dont even know what it feels like to be me anymore. I constantly live in fear. The last few year were fine, just off and on typical anxiety. It seems like ever since Ebola has struck, it was the end of a calm worry free me. 24/7 illness is on my mind. I could feel perfectly fine all day, then all o the sudden ill get a random pain somewhere and the first thing to come to my mind is that im sick. But of course its just my anxiety. No i can tell myself that the entire time during an episode, but with my OCD that does no good. If i have some pain of feel off in ANY way, i will eat less and be on edge. I will sleep in my clothes at night and shake myself to bed with the lights on. I dont know why that comforts me but it does. So on top of the stomach issues that im deeply scared of, now i have Ebola to fear.Today i had some intestinal discomfort and all of the sudden i compare it to Ebola. Which, grants me other symptoms and i feel worse and just freak myself out more. Im stuck in the cycle again and i just want to feel normal again. Someone who can enjoy life and all of its glory, not fear everyday. I cant hang out with friends the same and im not the same at work. The only distraction i found was video games as a temporary escape...

Can anyone relate?

[sophiemck89]

Yes! Ive had ultrasounds blood tests practical been living at the doctors convinced ive had everything and I mean everything which it all started from a simly cold but my anxiety spiraled out of control! My and dr google have been inseprable !!! Ive been on 50mg of zoloft this is day 21 (which at first is herrendous and added to my health anxiety at o e stage thought i was habing a heart attack)and its getting better slowly im not constantly thinking about how im feeling however unluckily for my I feel my anxiety in my chest which sparks all.sorts of health worries!!! Embola also sent me into a frenzy but so has terrorist attacks!!! Your.not alone! Its exhausting !!!

[gypsylee]

You can only catch Ebola by coming into physical contact with an infected person's bodily fluids. That may not make you feel better but it isn't an airborne virus so it's seriously hard to catch. It spread in Africa because of the unsanitary conditions there and lack of medical treatment.

:)

[Two One]

As an emetophobic I know what you're going through. I've had a fear of vomiting since I was three or four years old due to a traumatic experience with my aunt. My phobia has never been as bad as it is right now. As a child it was an off and on thing, and of course it was worse when someone in school would become ill. Throughout high school, I honestly thought I outgrew it. I was normal, anxiety free, and enjoyed life but after I graduated high school life threw seemingly endless stress at me. April 2013 I essentially snapped, I developed these awful stomach symptoms. I had a gnawing pain in my upper stomach, I was slightly nauseous all the time, no appetite, excessive belching, and when I did it I would bloat like crazy. My family and I thought I had an ulcer, turns out there was no physical cause for my symptoms and it came down to anxiety.

I dealt with it as best as I could until October 2013 when I caught the norovirus. As pathetic as it sounds, that destroyed me. I was never the same after that and I didn't even vomit during that illness, I only had the diarrhea. But as a result of that I can never tell whether my stomach upset is due to anxiety or an illness. Life is hard, I constantly feel sick but nothing ever happens. I always feel on edge and I'm so tired of it. I'm once again questioning whether it is worth living. There's no point in feeling like complete garbage every day. I know what you're going through.

On a side note, Ebola is very hard to contract, you have to come into contact with a person's bodily fluids and then ingest the virus. So unless you're extremely careless you will be fine.