Need advice, 22 years old suffering bad [Archive] - Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks

static

10-03-2014, 07:57 AM

Im-Suffering

10-03-2014, 10:18 AM

I am a 22 year old male. had anxiety all my life but as time goes on it gets worse.
i can be totally fine for a day, a week or months then it comes at me full force. I get dizzy for days, hot flashes, weird fears like spontanious combustion. to the point i've actually hopped in a cold shower to ease the fear. I get shaky, can't focus. If i'm at home everything is fine i can calm down. I'm not a stressed person mentally. I actually feel fine. It's so frustrating. To go from calm to chaos so fast. I love going to bars and meeting people, I love going to concerts and exploring. I'm an aspiring musician and i love everything about it. but the last few years i've been locked in my house. if i go outside and go to places where i know there will be a lot of people my body just like goes into shock. today for example. I drank coffee. shortly after i had every symptom known to man all at once. i calmed down, cracked a beer and felt fine. then my dad wanted me to meet him at a local bar. I was fine even half way there. then it just hit me and as soon as i walked in. I felt disconnected, Panic ridden, dizzy and tunnel visioned. Then felt like there was a tight band around my head. like i just wanted to run home. then as soon as i left. Totally fine again. I don't understand. It's taking a toll on everything. I can't go anywhere with my girlfriend because i get all this as soon as we get on the bus. just the thought of it sends my body into a shock. when i got fired from my job it's because two days in a row i felt like i was going to pass out. i had to call in sick and had a mental breakdown because i was fine the next day but as soon as i headed to the door it all happened again. It's gotten so bad that i drink about a six pack a day just to keep the symptoms at bay. they don't fully go away but they might as well. I can't sleep but i don't want to get out of bed. I'm just soo overwhelmed by it. I just want to be me again. it went from once in a while i'd have these episodes, To once every 6 months to now i can get symptoms that last weeks or months. finally decided to join a forum to just talk about it and let it all out.

It just appears so randomly i've left and rejoined bands over it. lost friends and i feel like i've lost myself. I was homeless at one point when my parents divorced when i was 19 and was totally fine. i had a few episodes here and there. but nothing like this. I had a job finally and everything was going great. It didn't pay much but it was something. I come home from work and my dad tells me we're getting evicted. literally the next day i woke up feeling dizzy and like a dead man walking. i wish i could just be sad, i wish i could be undermotivated but these physical symptoms are killing me. i literally can't take it. if anyone has any advice at all please share. I want them to end. I know The drinking needs to stop cause that is just a momentary solution. I also smoke. about a pack every 2 to 3 days. that needs to stop. I just can't it's hard.

thanks.

I know my friend. To some degree we all here are feeling the same one way or another. You've had a rough go of it so far, but none of it is your fault. You were just caught in the middle of some really terrible situations.

Have you been to the doc and had a good checkup, just some simple tests to rule out everything but anxiety. It's a breeze and it'll give you some peace at least, then you can begin to tackle the psychological aspect of it. One step at a time friend, one step at a time.

In your position, know the feelings are normal, just an over stressed mind and body, this is how the body is supposed to react. Also know the body has a set pattern, it cannot get worse and worse, you've probably felt as much as it can go. The amounts of chemicals released during stress are limited therefor, they peak and drop off. The secondary fear that you add by being confused and afraid adds to the stress, so you have double stress. That's why it's good to not resist what's happening, or fear it, but learn to accept it while you teach yourself methods to eradicate it. But it is not permanent, in a short while you'll be halfway home. Don't fight it, go with it, don't resist. Accept this is your temporary reality, and start to make small steps toward feeling better. Get a medical checkup, maybe a referral to a therapist, look into CBT which is behavioral therapy to help with the mental aspects.

There is no real way to rationalize evictions, emotionally, they are traumatic each and every time, and of course divorce takes its toll. But none of this is your fault, you are being carried around like a ship without a rudder in a violent storm. You must one day prove to yourself you can have your own stable home. That's what this will teach you, a stable loving home, the opposite of what you had. The stress of having a job and maintaining it will be less that the complete lack of control situation you are in. And at 22 you do not have to stay in it, even if you feel guilty leaving your father. If he cannot take care of himself he cannot take care of you and you'll both sink.

Most likely money was the big issue with your parents ultimate separation, and money still continues to plague your father, he just can't get a grip on reality. You are following in those footsteps bouncing back and forth on musical gigs, drinking, numbing your senses and following his downward spiral. If you would enter a relationship again, these behaviors which he taught you by example, plus his example of how to treat a woman, would result in multiple heartbreaks for you, and you wouldn't even put 2 and 2 together, until now that I've told you. When I say follow in his footsteps I mean your life will closely resemble his, failed relationships, lack of money, it will end the same, no matter the road that got you there. When you look at his life, you don't want to repeat it, you want to accomplish the opposite.

Get money straight, that's the key, then you are free. Work on relationship beliefs you learned from dad. You've got two prime problems to iron out and they both have offshoots that effect all areas of your life. They are not for dad to work out and drag you around in a suitcase. They are for you to work out, it's your life.....money, and love. (Relationships)

Best of luck friend, stick around and read some of the resources here.