Looking for information/advice

[manwstock]

Hey everyone,

I'm new here and I wanted to get opinions on what I'm going through. I have done very little research other than reading some other posts. I don't believe my anxiety is severe, but I'm wondering what kind of treatment is available for someone like me.

Anyways, this lyric from "Perfect Situation" by Weezer sums up the way I feel -

"There's the pitch, slow and straight.
All I have to do is swing
and I'm a hero, but I'm a zero."

Basically, anytime I am in a situation that takes me out of my comfort level, I freeze up physically and mentally. Everytime I am presented with an opportunity to advance my life personally or professionally, I always fall short. For example- job interviews, meeting new people, presentations, celebrating anything to do with me (birthdays, wedding,etc..), and challenges at work. I know everyone experiences nervousness, but I think I go beyond that. My physical symtoms include shaking, cold sweat, irritable bowels (that's putting it mildly), voice cracking, and blushing. Then of course my brain locks up and I look like a complete idiot. This has been happening my whole life. So of course, I try to avoid those situations and it makes me seem introverted and closed off when in fact I don't feel like that's my personality at all. If I do manage to go out in a social environment, then I have a tendency to binge drink.

I've thought about whether I might be depressed because more times than not, I am not happy with my life. But I truly believe that it is because I know I can do so much better for myself. If I could go out and be the person I know I am, I think I would be much happier.

So that's my story in a nutshell. I want to get better but I'm not sure where to start. I know I should see a doctor, but I'm actually too anxious to do that, so I keep putting it off. It's easier for me to put my thoughts out here and get opinions than go to a doctor and explain everything in person. I am open to meds, but I don't want to be dependent and from reading some posts, it looks like that might be a problem.

Thanks in advance for any replys.

[CinnamonSparkle]

Frankly, I could almost relate to every single thing you are going through. Whenever I feel unvomfortable, I all the symptoms except the sweat, the things that make me feel uncomfortable are regular day-to-day activities, so for sure this is not normal nervouseness, it used to be so bad that I would dread going to the laundry mat by myself, and I especially have a difficult time with job issues, I am moving to a new city by myself now and I am going to have to look for a new job and apply to a college and get a place for myself, and this all makes me so panicky!
I've talked to my family doctor and I am still waiting to hear back from a specialized doctor in this field, it's been months, and I am too anxious to try and push it or go again, it takes a lot of courage for people in our situation.
Advice... I can't give you any because I am suffering myself but I thought I'd share this so it might make you feel better, it's always good to know you're not alone. One thing that helps me though, I find being at the beach VERY relaxing, so as much as I could I try to picture myself back at the beach, it helps a little sometimes. Also, drinking. I know it's not the solution but it helps me too and I as well tend to binge drink.
Good luck!