mpenza
09-26-2014, 03:08 PM
Hi to the forum
ive been reading on here on and off for a while but this is my first post...i guess here's my story
ever since i went to university and spent 3 years clubbing up there, i took a lot of mdma and ecstasy...well when i moved back home and into normal life, i noticed how on edge i was all the time, over very little everyday things....there was nothing else i could think of which caused this, apart from the drug taking!!
now 10years later, ive had a lot of ups and downs dealing with my anxiety!!!...it got so bad working with other people at one point, that i went off sick for 6 months. In that time i went to the doctors and was prescribed prozac and a few others (some helped, some didnt)
Now im self employed and things are a lot easier (i work from my parents house)...but i still can't shake the anxiety!!...the worse problem of all is sleep!!...if i could sleep then it wouldn't lead to the massive anxiety!!
if i do something wrong in the day, or say something to someone which i think has pissed them off, thats it, i cant sleep....i can feel myself going into sleep mode but then this certain worry (whatever it is, will kick my right in the stomach, and ill get butterflys) its like 1 side of my brain, wont let the other sleep!!!
last w.end i was out with all my close mates, and because of my anxiety i haven't had a relationship for a long time....and for some reason i thought they might be wondering why i was still single after all this time...so i told them i was gay!!!...i know it sounds crazy just coming out with it, and i was really drunk...but i know im still mad about girls but i do find some men attractive! so maybe im bi sexual!
but after saying i was gay, yet again i can't sleep!!!...this is the longest ive gone without proper sleep!!...ive even felt suicidal this week....crazy i know, but everytime i try to sleep, the worry of what everyone thinks of me is there! and ive been an insomniac all this week, nightmare
any help or tips to just accept this and get on with life would be great....i really dont mind if im bi sexual, gay or whatever...just so my mind is at rest, thats all i ask
thanks
ive been reading on here on and off for a while but this is my first post...i guess here's my story
ever since i went to university and spent 3 years clubbing up there, i took a lot of mdma and ecstasy...well when i moved back home and into normal life, i noticed how on edge i was all the time, over very little everyday things....there was nothing else i could think of which caused this, apart from the drug taking!!
now 10years later, ive had a lot of ups and downs dealing with my anxiety!!!...it got so bad working with other people at one point, that i went off sick for 6 months. In that time i went to the doctors and was prescribed prozac and a few others (some helped, some didnt)
Now im self employed and things are a lot easier (i work from my parents house)...but i still can't shake the anxiety!!...the worse problem of all is sleep!!...if i could sleep then it wouldn't lead to the massive anxiety!!
if i do something wrong in the day, or say something to someone which i think has pissed them off, thats it, i cant sleep....i can feel myself going into sleep mode but then this certain worry (whatever it is, will kick my right in the stomach, and ill get butterflys) its like 1 side of my brain, wont let the other sleep!!!
last w.end i was out with all my close mates, and because of my anxiety i haven't had a relationship for a long time....and for some reason i thought they might be wondering why i was still single after all this time...so i told them i was gay!!!...i know it sounds crazy just coming out with it, and i was really drunk...but i know im still mad about girls but i do find some men attractive! so maybe im bi sexual!
but after saying i was gay, yet again i can't sleep!!!...this is the longest ive gone without proper sleep!!...ive even felt suicidal this week....crazy i know, but everytime i try to sleep, the worry of what everyone thinks of me is there! and ive been an insomniac all this week, nightmare
any help or tips to just accept this and get on with life would be great....i really dont mind if im bi sexual, gay or whatever...just so my mind is at rest, thats all i ask
thanks