Shopping centres

[gypsylee]

My anxiety hasn't been too bad lately but I still find I get really overwhelmed in some places - particularly shopping malls. I just can't stand how bright and loud these places are, not to mention full of people. I find it hard to concentrate on anything because they play such loud, annoying music and have those fluorescent lights.

I actually don't even think this is a feature of anxiety for me, it's more just my introverted disposition. It just sucks when things are set up for the majority of society who aren't as sensitive to noise and light as I am.

Anyone else feel like this?

[Enduronman]

I used to be the same way but those feelings have since passed.
I just ignore it all now.
Have a good day Gypsylee!

E-Man :)

[gypsylee]

Thanks E-man :) Yeah sometimes I can ignore everything but other times I just think "I have to get out of here!" I just hate how everything is in these huge, fake shopping malls. I think it's worse atm because it's school holidays here as well.

[Dahila]

Well I am the same, I go to shopping centres like once a year, maybe, I have to do my grocery shopping every week so I go early morning or very late just before the closing ;))

[gypsylee]

I usually go at night to buy groceries but most shops are only open during the day, so I have to go then. If I'm really anxious I just won't go but even when I feel "normal" shopping centres can overwhelm me.

[Neysa]

I know what you mean, I find shopping extremely tiring and I always have a migraine at the end! I buy groceries online and go shopping centres only to get things when I really need them with a break in between for some rest and yummy food! :)

[Ambition]

Now I only go to the Supermarket at night after 9pm when its much less crowded, and the roads are empty. That way I feel more relaxed and able to get back home much quicker.

[Ambition]

What kind of Migraine do you get? Do you have those weird ones with blind spots and strange images for 20 minutes but with no headache?

[Dragons]

I get a bit anxious at malls, too, for pretty much the same reason you described. They just feel very big and overwhelming and there's too much to take in. Everything is very bright and flashy and there are a lot of people. It always gives me a bit of a lightheaded/headachey feeling.

[gypsylee]

My nightmare would be working in a mall. I don't know how they stand it.

Yesterday I went to a few places in a "normal" strip of shops, then decided I wanted something from a shop in the mall. Well I was irate and anxious by the time I even parked the car. I went to the one shop and that was it, I had to get out of there!

[drac16]

I've felt that way sooo many times. I can be very snappy when I'm in those situations. I could just scream at people who are in the way or if someone gives me a dirty look. Loud laughter in public places drives me nuts as well. I can't help but think that they're gossiping about me and laughing about it.

[gypsylee]

Yeah I get very irritable too. I often go at night to the supermarket and that's when they have the people packing shelves. Well one night the guys were joking around and talking loudly to each other and I felt like telling the management to keep their staff quiet!

I also use the self-serve checkouts and if anyone stands too close to me I get really annoyed. These loud/bright/crowded places are just not my thing!

[danielhermanson]

I also can't stand clubs, concerts and any crowded place with a lot of people and loud noise. I only go to malls when I am looking to buy some new clothing and that is it. Not to mention that I hurry to get out as soon I bought what I wanted. I don't think this is anxiety in my case, I just love quiet places and sometimes being alone with no people around me.

[Ryker]

Yeah I get very irritable too. I often go at night to the supermarket and that's when they have the people packing shelves. Well one night the guys were joking around and talking loudly to each other and I felt like telling the management to keep their staff quiet!

I also use the self-serve checkouts and if anyone stands too close to me I get really annoyed. These loud/bright/crowded places are just not my thing!
I can't use self serve tills. Being in the supermarket is bad enough. I can't cope with that and the very real possibility of encountering unexpected items in my bagging area.

[gypsylee]

I also can't stand clubs, concerts and any crowded place with a lot of people and loud noise. I only go to malls when I am looking to buy some new clothing and that is it. Not to mention that I hurry to get out as soon I bought what I wanted. I don't think this is anxiety in my case, I just love quiet places and sometimes being alone with no people around me.

I love concerts but not clubs.. I only ever coped with clubs by getting very drunk.

I will be avoiding malls like the plague now because of Christmas. I was in the supermarket today and they were playing Christmas music and it annoyed me even more than the usual music.

I don't know why our society has to have noise all the time.

[gypsylee]

I can't use self serve tills. Being in the supermarket is bad enough. I can't cope with that and the very real possibility of encountering unexpected items in my bagging area.

LOL!

I hate it when something goes wrong and you have to stand there and wait for the person to help you.

One time I was being really vague and on the way home I suddenly thought "did I pay for that?" and realised I didn't :)

[Confusedpanic]

Sounds like a normal thing for someone with anxiety....I myself have been getting better with my anxiety, but I still have times where I literally can't stand being around people. For some reason people's loud conversations all along the sidewalks were bothering me. It was too loud (even though it wasn't) and I just found myself mashing elevator door close buttons to try and make sure no loud gaggling girls got on the elevator with me. As noted, I don't feel like this all the time, but sometimes I just don't want to hear noise about a quiet talk. I'm also a more introverted person, but I can be outgoing. People talking at yelling level when they were right next to each other always did make me give them a look, but it just never really bothered me as bad until I had anxiety issues.

[Ponder]

I think Cattle behave better in such tight places. People breathing down each others necks at the check out line - Trying to eat in a food court with people brushing past - people bumping into each other ... Last place you'd want to be with a flu epidemic. The places look clean but still full of trash dressed in their best - all that BS selling over the loud speaker - the flashing images trying to sell you BS you don't need - obnoxious little shits that could do with pulling their heads in - just plain loud noise - careless idiots - boisterous - vain - floosy - show boating - people tailgating on the trot - walking over the top of others - cutting in line - rushing ahead - stealing - scoffing - competing - cheating - coughing - spitting - keying - parking - hating and of course -> Lovin ... you name it, it's all going on.

Defiantly picking early or late times works for us. You don't have to have a anxiety disorder to hate going to such places, however it can be a massive trigger for me and or a great place to test myself when I think I am doing well. I find them to be rather filthy, dirty places with well dressed people that make them that way. The car park mentality is even worse.

I'm also getting better than I used to be - I just try to accept what I can not change and plan ahead to avoid the trash and smell of "people" :) I'd rather a paddock full of cow paddys... It dries much quicker and has many more uses than people. People a just plain selfish, make a lot of mess and destroy their surroundings. Malls are a good place to see this unfold.

Good place to sit back and observe. When I am feeling good - I'll leave my rubbish on the table (I figure the focus on employment is so rigid, may as well contribute by leaving some mess behind) - But I'll also make a good job not to leave half my food on the floor.

You'd never catch me leaving rubbish behind in the bush. :)

[gypsylee]

Yes well going to the mall now - Xmas time - is like hell on Earth. I have to pick my time very carefully and maybe take some Valium.

Not to mention I live in a tourist area where the population literally quadruples over the holidays. Oh god I'm getting anxious just thinking about it!!

[Im-Suffering]

It is easy for a child to enter the kingdom of heaven. (The shopping mall).

You are as close now to heaven as you'll ever be, period. And this is the hidden lesson from the famous parable. Every..desire..can..be..fulfilled..on..earth.. You cannot have a desire that you must die to achieve, partly because there is no death, in greater terms.

Where heaven is right under your nose. Do you remember the excitement, the glee..the wonder, and fascination. Do you remember the joy? Utterly malleable. Trusting. Befriending. Sharing. Do you remember what is was like to be a child?

Especially at Christmas time. Now, even the abused, and you can tell from the rant 2 posts up (ponder) have probable potential, if, they relinquish self to the child (who has capacity for true forgiveness). In that post we see one destructive belief after the next in rapid succession. A flurry of thought that brings the thinker suffering. Heaven can be your private hell.

The kingdom of heaven is indeed the shopping mall. Or whatever pleases you.

To experience joy again, one must adopt the characteristics of a child, where the ideals are innocent, open, and free. Where the exchange of ideas is welcome, where learning is accepted, where the psyche is fluid and not rigid in what it expects, it does expect indeed....Santa. Do you?

Fear melts in the loving arms of a parent as they hold your hand window shopping at the mall. Laughing and smiling, loving and pointing at all the wonderful earth stuff to play with. Even if you did not experience that, you must imagine it., to set yourself free.

I have been at It with some of you for many months now, when will you learn?

[gypsylee]

Mum used to take me to the city to see the Christmas displays in the shop windows. That was good but as an adult I just see the horrible consumerism.

I spent a couple of Xmases in the UK with my grandparents - that was exciting :)

[Im-Suffering]

as an adult I just see the horrible consumerism.

Choice. And so the question is asked, "why would you choose (to believe) that?"

"Its a fact" you say.

Is it?

And the follow up question "why would I choose to believe anything that would make me feel badly?"

Because "it's a fact.....of life"

Is it?

And so for the rest of your life, in all experiences, in all thoughts, in every choice, in every option, ask:

Why would I choose to believe anything that would make me feel badly?

If you allow it, the thought "horrible consumerism" will lead you to its belief, and the emotions protecting its identity (like a castle wall). People always ask, how do I find my beliefs?

In this case it may lead you all the way.....back...to..."I'm unlovable" and that belief, acted out, which you must (you must live your beliefs) would wreak havoc in every area of your life.

Now, your experience is meant to teach you the opposite. "I enjoyed shopping with mum and grandma/grandpa" however if you were rejected in the slightest, say that new pair of shiny shoes in the window...the child may perceive herself unlovable, you see. The truth may be mum couldn't afford it or not to spoil the child...now this is oversimplified but a good example. We are not addressing any form of abuse here. Just misguided interpretations from a child's perspective. Which often stays through adulthood, unquestioned.

I want you to see how insidious beliefs are, and often those ideas about life are distorted...You see? This requires self work and examination which most are too lazy to do. It's easier to live in pain.

[Ponder]

It's good that you can see as you do gypsy. For me, I am learning to have a laugh at peoples sheepish ways. Learning not to take offense in anothers way of being. Forcing myself to smile when welling up with frustration seems to work when I'm in those places full of concrete and people. I find the more genuine I tend towards compassion for both myself and other, the easier it is to make eye contact ... life becomes a little more hopeful that way as to getting from point A to point B ☺

PS ... I also live in a tourist region. I know what you mean. When I am on top off my issues, I find a little amusement, watching people who watch people during those busy periods. Sometimes its a case of the locals watching tourists, and other times, tourists watching locals. :)

[Ponder]

Doh..srry my bad ... wrong thread

[Ponder]

doh ... and again. Srry