Hey

[MrsFig]

I'm 32, and have always had anxiety. As I've aged, it has become worse. Right now, for example, my husband is on his way home from work, and I can hear sirens in the background. When he pulls in the driveway, I'll get a huge wave of relief and tell myself I was so silly to worry. Until that happens though, I will sit here with a knot in my stomach, get dizzy as the sirens get louder and feel my heart beat out of my chest.

I decided maybe talking to others would help me, so here I am.

[Kuma]

Hey Ms Fig. Welcome. I agree talking with others helps. After all, its a bit hard to understand anxiety if you don't have it personally. And here there are lots of us to know how you feel. We can relate. Stick around for a while, look through the posts in the General section, and you will get a sense.

What, if anything, have you done to try to manage your anxiety? Have you tried therapy, or any medication, or relaxation techniques? Different stuff works for different people. But I do think quality of life is improved if you try some things to manage anxiety. Even if it does not totally "cure" you of anxiety, it can make anxiety less frequent, and less intense.

I like CBT. It might be worth a try. But if not, then you will find something that works for you.

Anyway, I hope by now your husband got home and you can have a good night's sleep.

[Enduronman]

I decided maybe talking to others would help me, so here I am.

Great choice!
Welcome to you Mrs. Fig.
You want to communicate with other anxious people, we've got that covered!

E-Man.. :)

[Im-Suffering]

I'm 32, and have always had anxiety. As I've aged, it has become worse. Right now, for example, my husband is on his way home from work, and I can hear sirens in the background. When he pulls in the driveway, I'll get a huge wave of relief and tell myself I was so silly to worry. Until that happens though, I will sit here with a knot in my stomach, get dizzy as the sirens get louder and feel my heart beat out of my chest.

I decided maybe talking to others would help me, so here I am.

What are the connections between your husband and the sirens in terms of what your thinking. Why do you connect a siren, which is just.......a siren, with fear of loss of a loved one. Now, I'm not minimizing the trigger of a 'siren', but it could be any similar sounds that symbolize the trigger for these unwanted emotions. Are you still grieving from a loss - holding onto emotions, possibly from long ago? Or are there recent wounds that you did not fully face, or could not face - feelings bottled up inside. Are you afraid of abandonment, either by choice or through death?

You can certainly request he stay on the cell with you on the way home to disentangle the trigger from any catastrophe. You will know he is fine, even amidst the noise in the background.

The issue for you is associative, you are connecting - psychologically 'bridging' - your present with past experiences, and frankly you cannot tell the difference because the triggers are so strong. Your lost in the past, from the present. Your husband is just the trigger himself then, for you too examine the buried emotions you were too afraid to face.

Whatever was buried then, you must face now. Or at some point. You can't outrun yourself.

If he did not return home, if the sirens were indeed for him, what would you do? How would you feel? What does that raise inside you, what thoughts are bridged with the past? What happened in your life? Feel.....feel.....and feel some more...Face it. Use the sirens as a tool to face the fears inside and the beliefs that trigger them. Do you understand?

That is what you must do to heal. And once the thoughts, events, experiences are discovered, talk with him about them, have a cry, feel them, feelings can't kill you, they need to be released, and exposed.

You've got work to do, personal work, the most important endeavor in your short thirty two years.