mccawwbirdy77
09-18-2014, 11:10 PM
I know self diagnosing or trying to figure things like this out without an official source is bad but I need SOME idea of what's going on with me. I put this under general because I don't know specifically how to identify it. As I begin to explain, you're gonna think I'm some typical teenage girl with perfectionist problems but PLEASE hear me out. I'm 17 years old. It usually happens when im doing my makeup(don't go yet!). When I'm doing my eyeliner or eyebrows, I HAVE to get them to look perfect. It gets to the point where I can spend TWO HOURS just trying to get both right, and hour for eyebrows and an hour for eyeliner. I get so frustrated that o start crying. I start pulling at my own hair, digging my nails into my skin and into the counter (its very unsatisfying that I don't pierce the counter since its.. You know.. A counter). Sometimes, when its really bad, I sort of just collapse sitting on the floor and bawling my eyes out. I do those weird silent airy sounding screams and they're usually really quiet because I don't want my dad to hear. Its just this thing where as soon as i start working on the eyebrows or eyeliner, its like I'm lured into this cage and locked into it and can't get out of it until I get them PERFECT. This usually results in me crying and scolding my reflection, asking things like "why can't you look pretty?? Why can't you do this right? What's wrong with you?" Etc. Its not uncommon for me to be wiping tears and trying to breathe steadily. I tried explaining it to my dad but he thinks its something I can get over, like I can just switch it off (strangely enough, he's officially diagnosed with OCD). I came to this forum seeking help because I know that this is NOT normal. I just want some idea of what's going on.
(Also, I get some social anxiety when I have to confront people, appointments, etc. For example I almost cried once because my dad made me call Dominos to order a pizza and I was too nervous)
Any help/advice would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks!
(Also, I get some social anxiety when I have to confront people, appointments, etc. For example I almost cried once because my dad made me call Dominos to order a pizza and I was too nervous)
Any help/advice would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks!