Relapsing blows

[Tyler Patterson]

So i finally got better after my als fears which are completely gone (YAY!) but wait there's more! My fears originally shifted from als to my father having a heart attack then to my grandfather having a heart attack then it shifted to me having some sort of undetectable cancer then to my current fears my mother having breast cancer. My mother just turned 40 this years and she mentioned she would have to start getting mammograms for breast cancer, then she mentions a "family history of cancer" which I'm not entirely concerned about since there has only been two confirmed cases of cancer on her side of the family, one of which was brain cancer that killed one of her uncles who was in his 60's who also happened to be a heavy smoker. The other was an aunt who started out having breast cancer which then spread to her bones and inevitably took her life. There's another uncle who is in his 60's who they think has prostate cancer. Now i know that usually three people having cancer in the same family sounds almost certainly like a precursor but heres the thing my great grandmother who had all the aunts and uncles that died of cancer on my moms side had 19 kids (I know WOW!) so I have to ask is 3/19 kids having cancer a precursor or just an example of the normal chances. I will say my great grandmother died of old age i believe heart disease was the exact cause since she was 96. My great grandfather didn't die of cancer(although he did die in a peculiar way a horse and buggy accident) I would like to say that i do start therapy next monday which should help quite a bit but until then these feelings are just stuck i guess. Thanks for anyone that answers my question in advance.

[Exactice]

Relapsing is nothing =) Think of it as a test for you. Not something that will hurt you but will challenge you and see what you have learned up to this point. The funny part will be when you realize how much faster you recover and how well the recovery affects you in such a good way! You will notice the panic and anxieties will be easier to handle. When you have the fear come on remind yourself. I went through this with the ALS fear and it went away. Well lets see if I can do it with the cancer/etc and lets see if I can do it faster! Even if you dont you chalk it up as a lesson and try something different to help you!

Good luck!

[Tyler Patterson]

I really hope your right. The worst part of being a creative person is the other side of the dream coin. All the bad stuff you can imagine that is extremely unlikely or just unlikely to happen.. Oh well. It's unfortunate but what can you do?

[Olive Yew]

I'm relapsing too. Creativity can suck at times :(

[Exactice]

creativity sucks I will agree and you mind goes rampant..... but do your best to first try and occupy your mind away from the thoughts. Then start to address the problem. Dont try to address it first the reason is its like the "Dont Look Down" statement, what happens? People look down. So go straight into a distraction and then after the fact when you are adjusted then you can worry about other stuff =)

[Tyler Patterson]

I'm starting to call it the bane of my existence lmao. Not really, i think it happens to every creative person. I personally think (not proven or anything) that most people who have chronic anxiety,depression, ocd etc. etc. tend to be A. More creative and B. Generally have higher IQ's then the rest of the population. Just a sad part of reality i suppose.

[Tyler Patterson]

Honestly you guys this shit's only getting worse, my friend was telling me about how he knows two guys my age who have testicular cancer at 18 and one of them had it spread to his lungs and brain. Now don't get me wrong i know cancer of any type is rare in 18 year olds but it still scares the ever living hell out of me. Anxiety is at a 100 out of 5. Suddenly have pain in testicle that wasn't there before, know for certain it is 100% in my head but i cant seem to shake the son of a bitch. Oh well, just another day in my life.

[Olive Yew]

Honestly you guys this shit's only getting worse, my friend was telling me about how he knows two guys my age who have testicular cancer at 18 and one of them had it spread to his lungs and brain. Now don't get me wrong i know cancer of any type is rare in 18 year olds but it still scares the ever living hell out of me. Anxiety is at a 100 out of 5. Suddenly have pain in testicle that wasn't there before, know for certain it is 100% in my head but i cant seem to shake the son of a bitch. Oh well, just another day in my life.

For those of you who know Harry Potter, my mom calls it a Bogart. It changes its shape to fit your fears.

[Tyler Patterson]

Well today was eventful. I had to go to the GP for a follow up exam after my previous one (i.e go over blood test everything came back normal) I mentioned i had a pain in my abdomen/chest area right underneath my sternum and to the right a little, so i ask her about it and she says "well it's either a tumor or a strain." What the hell? She didn't show too much concern or suggest any testing but it still bugs me. Just hearing those words it could be a tumor has sent me into a spiral of panic. Unwarranted panic at that. Maybe she was just kidding around but still scares me a little. Oh well i suppose

[Im-Suffering]

Well today was eventful. I had to go to the GP for a follow up exam after my previous one (i.e go over blood test everything came back normal) I mentioned i had a pain in my abdomen/chest area right underneath my sternum and to the right a little, so i ask her about it and she says "well it's either a tumor or a strain." What the hell? She didn't show too much concern or suggest any testing but it still bugs me. Just hearing those words it could be a tumor has sent me into a spiral of panic. Unwarranted panic at that. Maybe she was just kidding around but still scares me a little. Oh well i suppose

Overall trend among anxiety sufferers:

97% are healthy with tests to prove it.

[Tyler Patterson]

She didn't seem too concerned, nor did she want to do any tests. I suppose everythings fine but there is always that thought in the back of your head.