Real Loss is Really Scary and Anxiety Producing too!

[Wilma Moynihan]

Real Loss is scary.
I feel powerless and weak in the knees.
Real Loss is anxiety producing.
Real Loss is unpreventable at times.
Real Loss gives me daily heart burn, and I'm now hooked on OTC antacids...
Real Loss cannot be prevented.
Its like a run in my nylons, only i see it a day after the Funeral.
It's so friggen dark and lonely.
It's like losing everyone in your family, 1 by 1, very slowly, and Inevetibly.
And NOT being able to do anything ABOUT IT!!!!!!
Is this clinical ANXIETY or REALITY 101??????

Sincerely,
An X-Nail Biter

[Enduronman]

We're all in the same boat, but we aren't going to sink Wilma!
Welcome.. :)

E-Man.

[JohnC]

Oh boy do i know where you're coming from with that post. Nothing else needs to be said.

[1Bluerose68]

Well, Nancy Kerrigan cried when she got hurt?
It's human to break down and fall to our knees at times.
Whether your learning to skate or at your Breaking Point too.
It's ok to cry.
It's better to cry than hold it in for 10 yrs, and then come down with a bad case of late stage cancer and die. never having had a frown line in your entire life, or a tear jerk your ducts into losing water and salt over something quite moving and unerving too.
ot's ok to cry.
Even adults can cry.
My father never 1x even cried in front of me.
He hardly ever showed anger when he was younger.
His work occupied his life.
He saw dead people enter his place of work every day.
He was not a coroner.
He was a cemetery grounds keeper.
He was proud of his self to have never let his emotions get in the way of his going to work.
He worked hard, and paid his monthly mortgage w/o ever having to claim a chapter in a new book(text).
He was a bit obsessed with lawns.
Everywhere that he went he installed a bran new lawn for his friends and even a custom sprinkler system that played, "Tag" with kids. If you didn't run fast enough away from the sprinkler spout that was propelled at full throttle you would NOT have any eyes by the end of the game of,"Tag."
In the end when he finally retired, he had a huge party for his retirement.
The very next year he was diagnosed with male health problems.
His last day alive he thought that he would save himself a buck and go to his personal doc in lieu of The ER.
His doc Listened to his heart and said, "yep, it'z still ticking." And dismissed him home with a pill to help him have less tension.
The next morning he fell down and Never got back up.
I was there, I heard him fall down.
It was so LOUD it sounded like a prowler or someone had broken in his, "Always open" bedroom window, and had pushed him down along the the book shelf.
I called 911
The operator seemed to take way too long to get the gist of the call, which was to ,"Send 911 out here NOW dammit!"
I listened 1st, called second, ran to the room with phone in hand 3rd, kneeled at his side and tried to awaken him.
The operator asked if he could talk?
I asked if he could talk?
He opened his mouth, like the mask in,"Scream"( The scary movie).
Just as he did that the sirens had arrived.
I let "them" in.
They put a crushing, compressor like device on his chest.
It compressed up and down, over,and,over,and,over.
Then they brought him to the ER.
The ER said that he had internal injuries, and had died of the trauma, and somehow a clot of blood had made it to his lungs as a result of the fall and of the severe compression's, as well.
I never saw anyone, that I recall, dying right in front of my eyes.
I tried my best to help him.
but in the end he needed a miracle on 34th street.
not a ,"Nightmare on Elm St.!!"
I think that the compressor machine used by 911 isnt always appropriate to use on the fragile, the elderly,very thin, or very young persons in need of their Life Saving Services.
I'm sorry but I saw what I saw. And it wasn't gentle, and it was Traumatic.
I hope that if someone passes out they have a Emergency Response Crew who are experts in common sense and know when to use a compressor machine, and when to apply human force in lieu of a machine to do the hard work.
Dad didn't have TB, but he had worked his entire life in a cemetery, after putting up a few railroads, back in the day(so he said?)
Now I must live life without my guiding force, and constant old companion,dad.
And mom, well of course, I miss her too very much.
She preceded dad by 3 yrs and 11 months. (333333)...
But mom is a whole other post entry.
I will post about her too, soon.
I love you both.
Amen, and Enough said for real hard working folk.
(Mom and Dad)---RIP

[JohnC]

Hi 1bluerose68,
I can tell that you miss him very much and that must have been extremely difficult for you. Peace to you my friend.

[Dahila]

blue it must be traumatic and terrifying. I am sorry for your loss.

[happylife]

Yikes! I am so sorry....

[Kyle's Weight Gain]

I am a certified personal trainer and I have been on Anxiety/Depression medication for over 15 years. I have gained 70 pounds because of the medication. After trying 5 different medications in hopes that one would not have the side effects of weight gain and being unsuccessful, I have decided to take matters into my own hands. Please follow me on my journey as I lose the weight that I have gained from taking Anxiety and Depression Medications. Like my Facebook page and support me on this journey.