Quieting the Voice Inside

[cineman74]

For the past month and a half, I've been going through sort of a period of "silent Tourette's." Just thinking all these terrible, angry, hurtful thoughts about strangers I see and even people I know. It's worrying me something fierce. My whole life, I've been known as a very nice guy, polite, caring, sensitive. I never had a gripe with anyone, but lately I've been really feeling really on ease and stressed about certain life scenarios, and I think I've reached a point where I can't control certain thoughts or associations. It's as though my mind wants to vent or be that way and the safe place is in my head. I certainly wouldn't say or do anything mean or cruel, but I don't know what to do. I feel like my mind is making mental associations that may stick and it's making me nervous around people. I keep telling myself, even if it's just in my head I know that I don't really want to be hurtful to anyone. I know it's irrational, but as I've explained to others, I just want who I am, the nice guy, to come back again.

I've thought about what's happening. I don't believe that my mind is trying to overtake itself and become some jerk. I probably had some nasty thought, and it was so shocking that my conscience has kept it going to the point where it won't forget or rationalize it as normal or human. Everyday, I think about this constantly. Someone told me that if we all knew what everyone was thinking, most of us would be in jail, that thoughts are just thoughts and don't hurt anybody. I'm worried that the longer I can't just relax and this goes on, the more I'm actually becoming someone else, someone I don't really want to be. I don't think I could completely have changed as a person in such a short amount of time, but the mind can't always trust itself, you know?

I just don't want to believe that these thoughts have come to reflect some sort of true belief. If that were true, I'm sure my brain would have stopped fighting this by now. I don't think I've lost my mind, I've always been a good person, but I feel awful, like I'm somehow destroying my own self-image. Can I break this hold?

Thanks so much for reading.

Sincerely,
Ben

[Robbed]

These thoughts are what is called 'obsessive thoughts', and they are VERY common with anxiety disorders. They basically ARE the result of the enhanced reaction (due to anxiety disorder) that you feel to spontaneous thoughts. And they are EXTREMELY common with anxiety disorder. Furthermore, thoughts of harming people probably rank number one as far as the subject matter of obsessive thoughts. Furthermore, obsessive thoughts are VERY stressful and sensitizing. And, as a result, they play a LARGE part in keeping anxiety disorders alive. The best (and only) way to treat them is to simply let them exist, while not reacting to them with fear. Try your best to allow these thoughts to come and go WITHOUT 'picking them up' and worrying about what they might possibly mean. By doing this, they will become less significant to your mind. And they will go away with time. Just keep in mind that it could take quite some time for them to do so. And they might come back full strength for a while during recovery.

[Neill Wright]

Hi there

I know exactly what you are going through. I have suffered with Anxiety for years. It has been particularly bad for the past 10 months. I have been referred to a psychiatrist at my local hospital. I have been on various medications which haven't worked and i've just started a new one.

I keep getting all these horrible thoughts towards people and can't get them out of my head. I know that they are irrational and i'm not going to do anything but they are very difficult to deal with. I just want to get back to my old self and not feel like this anymore but i'm not sure what the answer is. I have been referred for CBT and have also bought some self help books to try and help.

Suffering with this is a nightmare and i hope it ends soon.