Feel like I'm losing it!

[AugustRain]

I've always had anxiety, stupid thoughts, worrying about everything and occasional panic attacks. I've always been consumed by chronic self doubt but just recently, it seems to have skyrocketed to the extreme.

Two/three weeks ago, I was on Twitter, when I came across something that upset me greatly. It wasn't a sinister image, but something clicked in my mind and it really freaked me out, like I've never had anxiety this bad since I was 12/13 and I would have taken my preoccupation with disease back then over this. I'm overwhelmed with disturbing images and thoughts, of a sexual or violent nature which just make me feel so sick and ashamed and guilty. They really manage to make me feel like I'm sick and the images are real, even though I know I'm being irrational. I just can't seem to convince myself that they're not real and it's just anxiety.

And then there's the second guessing. I've literally run every thing I've ever thought/done in the past and comparing it to the thoughts. There's also the dreams, which even though they aren't always bad, freak me out and wake me up with that horrified feeling and pounding heart. I hate these thoughts, they make me feel like dying (and I honestly feel like I would be better off sting at the moment) and even though the thoughts aren't as intense as they were when they started, it still feels like I'm gonna have this forever or that this is me now.

And I know this is common, but it doesn't mean I don't feel completely alone.

[em1]

I've always had anxiety, stupid thoughts, worrying about everything and occasional panic attacks. I've always been consumed by chronic self doubt but just recently, it seems to have skyrocketed to the extreme. Two/three weeks ago, I was on Twitter, when I came across something that upset me greatly. It wasn't a sinister image, but something clicked in my mind and it really freaked me out, like I've never had anxiety this bad since I was 12/13 and I would have taken my preoccupation with disease back then over this. I'm overwhelmed with disturbing images and thoughts, of a sexual or violent nature which just make me feel so sick and ashamed and guilty. They really manage to make me feel like I'm sick and the images are real, even though I know I'm being irrational. I just can't seem to convince myself that they're not real and it's just anxiety. And then there's the second guessing. I've literally run every thing I've ever thought/done in the past and comparing it to the thoughts. There's also the dreams, which even though they aren't always bad, freak me out and wake me up with that horrified feeling and pounding heart. I hate these thoughts, they make me feel like dying (and I honestly feel like I would be better off sting at the moment) and even though the thoughts aren't as intense as they were when they started, it still feels like I'm gonna have this forever or that this is me now. And I know this is common, but it doesn't mean I don't feel completely alone.

Hello there you poor thing
I know how you feel I had intrusive thoughts that was far from the person I am and what I think
Acceptance is key for this,and what I'm taking about is NOT excepting that your that person or want to do any of the things you have in your mind but accepting them for what they are and that's just thoughts and images in your head

Can they hurt you NO?
Are they disturbing YES,BUT please be reassured that every living person in the world has them or has had them I Promise you
They are just a part of anxiety And that is all they are.
Your not going mad,your not alone,this will
Get better :)
Take care
Emma

[Enduronman]

You're not alone..
I would definitely get in to see a doctor, and get a referral for a councilor too friend.
Hoping for the best outcomes!

E-Man :)

[Anne1221]

I second Enduronman's advice which is good. You can get some help to deal with all of these things, but you just have to get started with someone like a doctor, therapist, or counselor. There is no way I could have made it without the help of my great therapist.

[Xerosnake90]

Your feelings are symptoms of the thought patterns that have taken hold. The trigger was only that, something that ignited the thoughts you've had into the fear you know feel. Your nervous system is on alert and you'll find it tough to relax. The key here is to understand that you're in a state of fear and fear thinking. You must regain control of your thought patterns in regards to how you let fear affect you.

There's plenty information around. Understand what anxiety is. You'll learn how to win.