Bah

[Lilac]

I have now managed to maintain a certain distance to my ALS anxiety. My 3,5 month muscle twitching has decreased considerably, and I don't fear the disease so much anymore. Like described in my latest thread; Now I just wake up, go to work, write on my thesis, eat my food (as my ED is also practically gone), and don't analyze as much. Sure, I "discover" new things on my body that I can start interpret into ALS symptoms, but I manage to ignore them. Or I don't believe my brain when it tells me they're ALS related symptoms.

But every once in a while, I get this heaviness in both of my arms, a sense of numbness and tingling, headache, heavy breathing, and I am tired all the time (I took new blood samples, and my vitamin and mineral levels are within the normal range now). And with every symptom I get, I start to think. I feel sick. I know that this, like everything else, is anxiety related. And I have told people in similar situations that anxiety symptoms may occur even when you don't feel anxious. A huge part of the anxiety is also located in the subconsciousness. However, I find it hard to believe myself. It's a weird thing, being able to give people advice but not accept it yourself. How come it's so hard?

A part of my problem is the extreme need of control. I need to control everything, everyone and every situation that is. It's the same thing with my body: if something new is going on and I get a symptom I want it to go away. It's not supposed to be there! I have never really been sick (knock on wood), which is probably the reason I can't accept the fact that something can happen to me as well, but that my symptoms are harmless and most likely caused by anxiety. My body is tired after months and months of intense fear and tension due to my ALS anxiety. But I just want to feel well again. I have managed to distance myself from ALS - why can't everything just go away? It's like my brain need something to dwell on, and always create problems for me. I am so self-destructive, and I am tired of it. When I get over something, I create something new, like dwelling over new symptoms. Not necessarily afraid of them, I just don't want them to be there! They are not welcome, not accepted.

[TravisS]

Im right here with you Lilac, I wish I had some advice for you. My problem is Ive pretty much convinced myself I have ALS and I havent even seen a neurologist yet. I continue to pray and try to tell myself it could something else, even just anxiety, but the next minute Im back to it again. I dunno what to do. Has anyone taken any meds to relieve their thougts?

[Im-Suffering]

I have now managed to maintain a certain distance to my ALS anxiety. My 3,5 month muscle twitching has decreased considerably, and I don't fear the disease so much anymore. Like described in my latest thread; Now I just wake up, go to work, write on my thesis, eat my food (as my ED is also practically gone), and don't analyze as much. Sure, I "discover" new things on my body that I can start interpret into ALS symptoms, but I manage to ignore them. Or I don't believe my brain when it tells me they're ALS related symptoms.

But every once in a while, I get this heaviness in both of my arms, a sense of numbness and tingling, headache, heavy breathing, and I am tired all the time (I took new blood samples, and my vitamin and mineral levels are within the normal range now). And with every symptom I get, I start to think. I feel sick. I know that this, like everything else, is anxiety related. And I have told people in similar situations that anxiety symptoms may occur even when you don't feel anxious. A huge part of the anxiety is also located in the subconsciousness. However, I find it hard to believe myself. It's a weird thing, being able to give people advice but not accept it yourself. How come it's so hard?

A part of my problem is the extreme need of control. I need to control everything, everyone and every situation that is. It's the same thing with my body: if something new is going on and I get a symptom I want it to go away. It's not supposed to be there! I have never really been sick (knock on wood), which is probably the reason I can't accept the fact that something can happen to me as well, but that my symptoms are harmless and most likely caused by anxiety. My body is tired after months and months of intense fear and tension due to my ALS anxiety. But I just want to feel well again. I have managed to distance myself from ALS - why can't everything just go away? It's like my brain need something to dwell on, and always create problems for me. I am so self-destructive, and I am tired of it. When I get over something, I create something new, like dwelling over new symptoms. Not necessarily afraid of them, I just don't want them to be there! They are not welcome, not accepted.

To all readers, including TravisS in the post above.

I have mentioned a few times:

Any illness, is always the inability to resolve ones mental or psychological problems in the correct manner. One must also recognize or identify the problem as often it's hidden. This includes real physical conditions, cancer, heart disease, epilepsy, Alzheimer's and so on. Without understanding this, one thinks he is subject to outside conditions unwillingly thrust upon him, and are intimately tied into his views of the world, cruelty, sin, religion, karma, fate, payback, DNA, hereditary from the sins of the father passed down, whatever. The only sins of the father are the beliefs he has taught his child.

For example:

Someone lives in poverty conditions, and is often hungry for food. In his inability to resolve his condition, he develops doubts from indecision, then worry, then he wakes up every day terrified. This man has anxiety over a real condition that needs resolution. With no resolution he is doomed to aches and pains and his own self suggestive abuse from his thoughts. Fixing the condition through employment, winnings, money, he can hold his head high and he is cured, because the problem itself that manifested the condition is gone. Money does not only come through work, unless that is what you believe.

For you, none of what you wrote in your post matters at all, feel good, feel bad, feel this or that. You haven't pinpointed and resolved to work on the problem that is the causation of it all.

Listen carefully, people live in poverty for years, they live in bad relationships or unfulfilled relationships for years, now if these issues, for example, remain unresolved, then the anxiety will remain. They can cope, you see, but not permanently release because the problem still exists. Often times discovering the problem will also lead to spiritual or psychological issues that also must be addressed, going hand in hand with the physical problem.

How can you wake in poverty each day and be happy you have no food? Or your being abused and your not supposed to feel anxious? Or your parents put undo pressure to fulfill some expectation, a job, and your not able to think for yourself, you are under their spell, and your not supposed to feel anxious? You come here and listen to others give you advice who themselves have not resolved their problems, yet expect different results to the status quo? Good one day, bad the next, good one year, then bad the next week, "I am back", they say, "I've had a relapse"

Lilac, I am helping you in your life to understand you have psychological problems that need to be solved. And I do not mean you are a basket case. As this post has addressed, the causes of anxiety are real world issues.

I am the only one in years now to give this information here, and soon I will be forgotten and so will this post along with the necessary keys to success. But some will get it.

You know what your problem is, you may be apathetic to life, lazy minded, unhappy generally with relationships, money, your home, etc, it is not so hidden from you.

Forget the problem with anxiety and it's illusions, to work on your real world life issues, and that may include some difficult decisions you have been reluctant to make, or have been putting off so long you have forgotten them. Or maybe they are painful to face and you have been ignoring them.

Now I may or may not return to fix this post with typographical emphasis, I've already edited a bit.

Any illness, is always the inability to resolve ones mental or psychological problems in the correct manner. One must also recognize or identify the problem as often it's hidden

Let me know if you need more.

[Kuma]

<<Any illness, is always the inability to resolve ones mental or psychological problems in the correct manner>>

This is complete nonsense. If you said "some illnesses may result, in part, from -- or be exacerbated by -- an inability to resolve psychological problems," then it would make sense.

But your statement, taken literally, suggests that if your kid's best friend has Chicken Pox and your kid plays with him for a few days and catches it, that this illness "is always the inability to resolve ones mental or psychological problems in the correct manner." Same with a guy who smokes 3 packs a day for 30 years and gets lung cancer. Is that "always the inability to resolve ones mental or psychological problems in the correct manner"? Of course, that is absurd.

It is true that anxiety and other psychological conditions can exacerbate (and maybe even, in part, cause) certain illnesses. But there are other factors, such as genetics, environmental factors, communicability, etc.

[Lilac]

Well, Im-Suffering, as regards to anxiety you are right. I do have a lot of issues, and in many ways I don't dare to face them. My fiance and I have issues due to my psychological problems, and he has hurt me several times by saying he's not sure he can be with me anymore. A few days later he says he has a huge problem communicating, and when he does, everything comes out the wrong way. We've been together for over 7 years, and despite my own difficulties he's always been there for me. Bless him and his love and patience! But he has his own personal issues, which I do not want to mention here, and in many ways he has felt he could never talk to me about them. So he keeps them inside, because he knows I am already suffering. Therefore, he sometimes speaks like the whole world is going under, and our relationship with it. And that hurts me and my self-esteem even more. He has sworn now that he will take care of his own issues, and now that I learn new techniques to cope with my own, we hope that we can be happy together again. Because we really do love each other. But he's been so closed up, and I've lived in my own bubble, so things got out of control. He hurt me though, he really did. And I have to deal with that. I have made the decision to try, because he promised me he will start talking and communicating, and get help for his own issues. I have to support him, like he has done with me. He feels so bad for the way he has treated me and communicated with me, and he suffers from hurting me and dragging my self-esteem down. I know he really loves me, and I also have to believe him when he says he is IN LOVE with me as well. It's just so hard.

I guess that's what's eating me up lately: the constant feeling of insecurity. And I have money issues: not that I owe anyone any money or that I don't have money. We both have jobs although I work only part time due to my studying, we pay our rent and bills, and we have food on the table. But money scares the hell out of me. Living in Norway is extremely expensive, and we have high taxes on everything. I have a student loan, and a part of me thinks that I will never be able to pay it off.


And my studies. I love studying, and I can't wait to finish my degree. I am writing my master thesis. But I have a problem of high expectations. Nothing's ever good enough. I like the research question and methodology I use for my thesis, but I have a problem with the fact that my supervisor helped me coming up with the ideas for thesis topics. I feel stupid, like I can't figure out anything by myself. I know I sound like the most ungrateful and annoying person in the world right now, because I have everything laid down for me. And I received an A on my bachelor's thesis and degree, so I am not stupid. But for some reason I can't shake that belief off. My perfectionism is causing most of my anxiety I believe. I want to be the perfect student, employee, fiance, friend, tenant, daughter, granddaughter, citizen, individual. I do everything for everyone, and I don't care about my own well-being. I don't think I deserve anything. And I felt even less perfect when my fiance communicated to me the way he did. I felt like the worst girlfriend. Pure imperfection.

I am afraid that no one really loves me, other than my parents maybe. Like my friends don't care and they could do without me. I care about what other people think and feel, and wish that I could control them. My perfectionism is a heavy burden, and I can't seem to let things go. If I make a mistake at work, even the smallest mistake, I lose sleep over it. I think my very presence offends people. I am cruel to myself.

[Im-Suffering]

Well, Im-Suffering, as regards to anxiety you are right. I do have a lot of issues, and in many ways I don't dare to face them. My fiance and I have issues due to my psychological problems, and he has hurt me several times by saying he's not sure he can be with me anymore. A few days later he says he has a huge problem communicating, and when he does, everything comes out the wrong way. We've been together for over 7 years, and despite my own issues he's always been there for me. Bless him and his love and patience! But he has his own personal issues, which I do not want to mention here, and in many ways he has felt he could never talk to me about them. So he keeps them inside, because he knows I am already suffering. So many times he has spoken like the whole world is going under, and our relationship with it. And that hurts me and my self-esteem even more. He has sworn now that he will take care of his own issues, and now that I learn new techniques to cope with my own issues, we hope that we can be happy together again. Because we really do love each other. But he's been so closed up, and I've lived in my own bubble, so things got out of control. He hurt me though, he really did. And I have to deal with that. I have made the decision to try, because he promised me he will start talking and communicating, and get help for his own issues. I have to support him, like he has done with me. He feels so bad for the way he has treated me and communicated with me, and he suffers from hurting me and dragging my self-esteem down. I know he really loves me, and I also have to believe him when he says he is IN LOVE with me as well. It's just so hard.

I guess that is eating me up lately:the constant feeling of insecurity. And I have money issues: not that I owe anyone any money or that I am poor or anything. We both have jobs although I am a student as well, we pay our rent and bills, and we have food on the table. But money scares the hell out of me. Living in Norway is extremely expensive, and we have high taxes on everything. I have a student loan, and a part of me thinks that I will never be able to pay it off. I will, but I am afraid I never will.

And my studies. I love studying, and I can't wait to finish my degree. I am writing my master thesis. But I have a problem of high expectations. Nothing's ever good enough. I like the research question and methodology I use for my thesis, but I have a problem with the fact that my supervisor helped me coming up with the ideas for thesis topics. I feel stupid, like I can't figure out anything by myself. I know I sound like the most ungrateful and annoying person in the world right now, because I have everything laid down for me. And I received an A on my bachelor's thesis and degree, so I am not stupid. But for some reason I can't shake that belief off. My perfectionism is causing most of my anxiety I believe. I want to be the perfect student, employee, fiance, friend, tenant, daughter, granddaughter, citizen, individual. I do everything for everyone, and I don't care about my own well-being. I don't think I deserve anything. And I felt even less perfect when my fiance communicated to me the way he did. Once more I felt like the worst girlfriend. Pure imperfection.

There is a lethargy, between the lines. A 'throwing the hands up and surrender'.

[Kuma]

<<My message stands on its own merits. It is authentic. Your challenges, faulty assumptions and beliefs however will keep you enmeshed in the present condition, and the others that would believe your challenge will not be able to heal as well. Thus you have done a disservice with your assumptions. To yourself and others, for it is the beliefs you just displayed that got you sick to begin with. I will not go deeper because you would not understand it, but you are incorrect in your entire guesswork. I suggest you open your mind to accepting new beliefs and thus maybe you can get on your way to recovery. I will not respond challenged again. >>

IS: This is really no different than if you were to say "Every person is a porcupine." And when it is pointed out to you that this is patently untrue, you would respond "your mind is not open enough to understand that you and everyone else is a porcupine - and I will not explain it further because you would not understand."

Your response is a cop out. You make a completely absurd assertion and then, when challenged, rather than addressing the merits, your response is, essentially, "I am right and you are too dumb to understand why." (This response could be used to "defend" any fallacious assertion).

The assertion that you made is factually untrue. It is not a matter of opinion. Saying that every illness is "always the inability to resolve ones mental or psychological problems in the correct manner" is just as untrue to saying that every person is a porcupine.

You do nobody a favor here by making up utter nonsense, asserting it as if it were a fact, and then suggesting that anyone who contests your nonsensical assertions "simply does not have a deep enough understanding."

[Steven Miller]

Any illness, is always the inability to resolve ones mental or psychological problems in the correct manner. One must also recognize or identify the problem as often it's hidden. This includes real physical conditions, cancer, heart disease, epilepsy, Alzheimer's and so on. Without understanding this, one thinks he is subject to outside conditions unwillingly thrust upon him, and are intimately tied into his views of the world, cruelty, sin, religion, karma, fate, payback, DNA, hereditary from the sins of the father passed down, whatever. The only sins of the father are the beliefs he has taught his child.

This is absurd.


Forget the problem with anxiety and it's illusions, to work on your real world life issues, and that may include some difficult decisions you have been reluctant to make, or have been putting off so long you have forgotten them. Or maybe they are painful to face and you have been ignoring them.

We agree here. Psychological conditions are often caused by outside forces such as poverty etc. But saying that physical conditions are caused by psychological forces is nonsense. Things like ALS, AIDS, EBOLA, etc. are not caused by bad karma.


My message stands on its own merits. It is authentic. Your challenges, faulty assumptions and beliefs however will keep you enmeshed in the present condition, and the others that would believe your challenge will not be able to heal as well.

It doesn't stand on its own merits. It is a tired view that the entire global intellectual, academic, and medical community rejects.


I want to be the perfect student, employee, fiance, friend, tenant, daughter, granddaughter, citizen, individual.

There is no such thing as a perfect anyone. What kind of student, employee, fiance, friend etc. do YOU want to be? It sounds like you are the kind of student who wants to come up with your own thesis. Well, why did you not? Maybe because you didn't know what you wanted your thesis to be. Well, why not? Maybe its because you are so caught up in doing what you think other people want you to do, that you haven't been able to put in the time and energy into discovery what you want.


I care about what other people think and feel, and wish that I could control them. My perfectionism is a heavy burden, and I can't seem to let things go. If I make a mistake at work, even the smallest mistake, I lose sleep over it. I think my very presence offends people. I am cruel to myself.

You have a clear sense of what is going on, then. I would suggest that you can't let things go because if you did, you'd have nothing else to grab hold of. Well, grab hold of yourself. If you can bear the thought of being a totally, completely selfish person for just a little while, you might turn up something that is of great value to yourself and others.

[Anne1221]

Lilac..don't you think you could find the help you need if you found a good, trained therapist to talk to? There's got to be someone who you can reach out to who can guide you. You can start out by telling your doctor some of the things you're feeling.

[Lilac]

Hi Anne, I am seeing a therapist, and we're working on it. I just that I get so frustrated over these symptoms...

[Im-Suffering]

Allow me to give it another go this morning. I am forever hopeful that some of this will click, with any individual. If you do have health problems, it is much better to look for their reason in your immediate experience …

… try to understand that the particular dilemma of illness is not an event forced upon you by some other agency. Rather realise that to some extent or another your dilemma or your illness has been chosen by you …

If you realise that your beliefs form your experience, then you do have a very good chance of changing your beliefs, and hence your experience.

You can discover what your own reasons are for choosing the dilemma or illness by being very honest with yourself. There is not need to feel guilty since you meant very well as you made each choice – only the choices were built upon beliefs that were beliefs and not facts.

If you are in serious difficulties of any kind, it may at first seem inconceivable, unbelievable or even scandalous to imagine that your problems are caused by your beliefs. In fact, the opposite may appear to be true. You might have lost a series of jobs, and it may seem quite clear to you that you are not to blame in any of these circumstances.

You may be in the middle of one or several unsatisfactory relationships, none of which seem to be caused by you, while instead you believe you are an unwilling victim or participant. You may have a dangerous drug or alcohol problem, or you may be married to someone who does.

In most cases, even the most severe illnesses or complicated living conditions are caused by an attempt to grow, develop or expand in the face of difficulties that appear to be insurmountable to one degree or another.

An individual will appear to be striving for some goal that appears blocked, and hence he or she uses all available energy and strength to circumnavigate the blockage.

The blockage is usually a belief which needs to be understood or removed rather than bypassed.

You are not healthy … no matter how robust your physical condition, if your relationships are unhealthy, if your relationships are unhealthy, unsatisfying, frustrating or hard to achieve. Whatever your situation is, it is a good idea to ask yourself what you would do if you were free of it. An alcoholic’s wife might wish with all her heart that her husband would stop drinking – but if she suddenly asked herself what she would do, she might – surprisingly enough – feel a tinge of panic. On examination of her own thoughts and feelings, she might well discover that she was so frightened of not achieving her own goals that she actually encouraged her husband’s alcoholism, so that she would not have to face her own ‘failure’. Obviously this hypothetical situation is a quick example of what I mean, with no mention of the innumerable other beliefs and half-beliefs that would encircle the man’s and the woman’s relationship.

Large numbers of people do indeed live unsatisfactory lives, with many individuals seeking goals that are nearly unattainable because of the conglomeration of contradictory beliefs that vie for their attention. They are at cross-purposes with themselves.

That is all.

[Anne1221]

Lilac, good for you! A good therapist will help greatly. I hope you like him/her. Sometimes it's hard to find one you really like. Has he/she suggested any type of medication? Just wondering.......Glad I don't live where you do, I hate cold!!

[Lilac]

Yes, I like my therapist a lot. He is both very professional and compassionate, and we are doing cognitive therapy. It is indeed starting to work out quite well, as I am now overcoming my eating disorder and also my health anxiety. We haven't discussed medications no; he believes I can solve my issues with therapy, and I agree with that. I was prescribed (and I think you and I actually discussed this earlier in one of my previous threads ;P) benzodiazepines for my panic attacks, but I ran out of them. I haven't asked my doctor to prescribe me more, because they turned out to be highly addictive. Besides, I don't feel the need to use them anymore :) My main issue right now is that I still feel like s*** physically, but mentally I'm doing quite alright. Sure I start to think when I don't feel very well, but I'm not scared of what it could be this time. But I think I have to call my doctor tomorrow and make an appointment, because I have a lot of pain in my stomach, and yesterday I felt nauseated and vomited a little. I found just a little blood in it, and that is definitely something I should get checked out. In my young age it's probably "just" an infection or a wound/rupture in my throat or stomach, but nonetheless important (I'm not afraid of stomach cancer, throat cancer, etc. :P It is highly unlikely)