Hi im new..

[EnglishAnxiety]

Hi, I'm Joan and I'm new and I've recently come to terms with the fact that I have irrational anxiety.

I feel really stupid saying this. I haven't really told anyone what I'm anxious about and why I'm anxious about it because it all seems very silly when I say it out loud. I'm embarrassed.

I have an irrational fear of terrorism. I get anxious, like really anxious. No one understand (neither do I). I have never been a direct victim of terrorism it just feels like its an impending doom, it really hinders my life.

I also have anxiety about silly things like worrying if I have locked doors, turned hair straighteners off etc. So much so that I check on them, repeatedly. Maybe my terrorism anxiety stems from these silly things that I worry about?

I feel really silly that I have said it now. How embarrassing.

Thanks for reading..
Joan.

[Kuma]

No need to be embarrassed around here, Joan. First, you are no "crazier" than the rest of us. Second, the forum is anonymous, which helps people speak candidly about things they might not easily talk about live.

Have you tried anything to help with your anxiety? One thing that might help is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It tends to be a fairly short term therapy and -- while nothing works perfectly for everyone -- it has a pretty good track record.

Best wishes, Kuma

[Kixxi]

Hi, I'm Joan and I'm new and I've recently come to terms with the fact that I have irrational anxiety.

I feel really stupid saying this. I haven't really told anyone what I'm anxious about and why I'm anxious about it because it all seems very silly when I say it out loud. I'm embarrassed.

I have an irrational fear of terrorism. I get anxious, like really anxious. No one understand (neither do I). I have never been a direct victim of terrorism it just feels like its an impending doom, it really hinders my life.

I also have anxiety about silly things like worrying if I have locked doors, turned hair straighteners off etc. So much so that I check on them, repeatedly. Maybe my terrorism anxiety stems from these silly things that I worry about?

I feel really silly that I have said it now. How embarrassing.

Thanks for reading..
Joan.

Welcome to our little community Joan. First let me tell you that you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I been suffering with agoraphobia and GAD for seven years and I still don't understand why I feel the way I feel sometimes. There are so many people in this world who suffer anxiety in silence. But rest assured that you'll find people listening here.

Also your fears are not much different to what many anxiety sufferers have. The worrying is something I have to deal with to. I have found that cognitive behaviour therapy has seriously reduced my worrying, so it might be good for you to? There are some online sources for cognitive behaviour therapy, if your not comfortable to see a therapist yet. However, I would recommend a therapist, even if you feel embarrassed. You'd be surprised just how many people are struggling with similar things and it's quite a common phenomenon.

[EnglishAnxiety]

No need to be embarrassed around here, Joan. First, you are no "crazier" than the rest of us. Second, the forum is anonymous, which helps people speak candidly about things they might not easily talk about live.

Have you tried anything to help with your anxiety? One thing that might help is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It tends to be a fairly short term therapy and -- while nothing works perfectly for everyone -- it has a pretty good track record.

Best wishes, Kuma

Thank you for the reply Kuma.

I will look into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

Joan

[EnglishAnxiety]

Welcome to our little community Joan. First let me tell you that you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I been suffering with agoraphobia and GAD for seven years and I still don't understand why I feel the way I feel sometimes. There are so many people in this world who suffer anxiety in silence. But rest assured that you'll find people listening here.

Also your fears are not much different to what many anxiety sufferers have. The worrying is something I have to deal with to. I have found that cognitive behaviour therapy has seriously reduced my worrying, so it might be good for you to? There are some online sources for cognitive behaviour therapy, if your not comfortable to see a therapist yet. However, I would recommend a therapist, even if you feel embarrassed. You'd be surprised just how many people are struggling with similar things and it's quite a common phenomenon.


Thank you for your reply Kixxi.

I feel increasingly overwhelmed each day. I haven't discussed the extent of my anxiety to people in my life but they are aware that I worry. It is constantly in my mind. I have tried to stop watching the news and reading the newspaper which has helped. It is hard when terrorism is an actual threat and there are different things happening each day which makes me worry and panic. I'm glad I've found this site so I can vent some of my feelings to someone who understands.

[Kixxi]

Thank you for your reply Kixxi.

I feel increasingly overwhelmed each day. I haven't discussed the extent of my anxiety to people in my life but they are aware that I worry. It is constantly in my mind. I have tried to stop watching the news and reading the newspaper which has helped. It is hard when terrorism is an actual threat and there are different things happening each day which makes me worry and panic. I'm glad I've found this site so I can vent some of my feelings to someone who understands.

I understand fully. I hid my anxiety for quite some time when I first came to England. My fiancé is British, so I had to move from Belgium to England. I didn't want to appear weak to my new family, so I hid it for quite some time. However, I did tell them at one point and they were so understanding. The only thing that can become a bit of a pain is that everyone wants to help you much they will want you to try things your not ready for. I don't regret telling them though, because it has helped me to deal with it a lot. And I can stand up for myself when I'm not ready for something.

I know that you feel like you have no control at the moment and I really understand the desperation and loneliness that stems from that. You will always find someone here, no matter if you decide to tell your friends and family or not. You will overcome this. It takes a bit of reprogramming and some homework, but bit by bit you will get better. And we'll be here for you every step of the way.

[EnglishAnxiety]

I understand fully. I hid my anxiety for quite some time when I first came to England. My fiancé is British, so I had to move from Belgium to England. I didn't want to appear weak to my new family, so I hid it for quite some time. However, I did tell them at one point and they were so understanding. The only thing that can become a bit of a pain is that everyone wants to help you much they will want you to try things your not ready for. I don't regret telling them though, because it has helped me to deal with it a lot. And I can stand up for myself when I'm not ready for something.

I know that you feel like you have no control at the moment and I really understand the desperation and loneliness that stems from that. You will always find someone here, no matter if you decide to tell your friends and family or not. You will overcome this. It takes a bit of reprogramming and some homework, but bit by bit you will get better. And we'll be here for you every step of the way.

Thank you so much Kixxi. Feels good to get it off my chest and finally express what I'm actually feeling!

Its really good to know there is someone to talk to about this. This anxiety is a very isolating feeling.

[Kixxi]

You can say that again. It's hard to live with people who don't have this condition. And you can't really feel angry about it, because they don't really know what you are going through. Don't get me wrong, I felt angry before because people went places I could not. But then you start thinking that they don't know how it feels and they do try to help you any way they can. However, this feeling was a lot worse for me when nobody knew. Because I was suffering in silence and I just felt angry and alone all the time.

[EnglishAnxiety]

You can say that again. It's hard to live with people who don't have this condition. And you can't really feel angry about it, because they don't really know what you are going through. Don't get me wrong, I felt angry before because people went places I could not. But then you start thinking that they don't know how it feels and they do try to help you any way they can. However, this feeling was a lot worse for me when nobody knew. Because I was suffering in silence and I just felt angry and alone all the time.


I get really frustrated I feel like shouting "Why aren't you worried about these things?!" and because they aren't worried it makes me feel even more alone, even more ridiculous. For example, if I feel like I haven't turned off hair appliances or locked doors I panic but other people are like "oh it'll be fine don't worry" but I cant get it off my mind! So frustrating.

[Kixxi]

I understand completely. I can't understand why people around me don't worry about the things I do. Or don't seem to worry about the things that I do. I really know where you are coming from. Writing down my worries and changing them into a positive has really helped to reduce this type of thinking. I am currently on this site to deal with negative thoughts and my anxiety: http://www.paniccenter.net/Default.aspx. You may find it interesting to. It's got quite some tools and you can also give it to health professionals if you decide to contact one. Since I am insanely busy every day, I use this a lot. I'm also on the forum a lot when things get really difficult. It's just nice to hear that there are people who know what you are going through.

What you are feeling at the moment is so completely normal and typical for anxiety. I always compare myself with an overly sensitive car alarm :D Some people can handle worries and anxiety better than others. We are just a little more sensitive to these things. It can stem from so many things, but you can get over it. I have had my relapses and setbacks, don't get me wrong, but I also had victories :) Baby steps forward is the way to go. I tried rushing and running before I could walk and went straight into relapse and made my agoraphobia worse than ever. Small steps and gaining that confidence back is definitely a must :)

[Kuma]

People who suffer from anxiety tend, as a rule, to significantly overestimate risk. One of the things CBT teaches us to do is to more accurately evaluate risk. Take, for example, your fear of terrorism. The risk of you being caught up in a terrorist incident is not exactly zero. But it is probably extraordinarily small. Maybe the odds are one in a half a million, or one in a million, that this will happen to you some time within the next 40 years. (I am assuming you do not regularly travel to Syria, or fight in an insurgency, etc.). You probably cannot calculate the odds precisely, but you can estimate them roughly. How many people are there in the United Kingdom who more or less do the same things you do (go to work, take care of your kids, go on a beach holiday - whatever you spend your time doing)? And how many of those people have been caught up in a terrorist incident? It is not zero. But it is quite close to zero, I suspect. You are probably living your life as if the risk is much higher. Maybe you are worrying about it as if the risk were one in three or one in five. If you can learn what the real risk is -- and internalize that -- you may well become much less anxious about it. After all, you do not get anxious about other things that have a one in a million chance of injuring or killing you, such as being struck by lightening or having a Tsunami sweep you out to sea when you are at the beach. You know these things have more than a zero chance of happing, but not much more, so you don't worry about them. With respect to the "checking behaviors" -- which many of us have -- CBT (and your own discipline) can help you break the habit. You can learn to check once, and then let it go. And force yourself not to check again. And eventually you get used to that. It takes practice and commitment, but it is a habit, and it can be broken.