Dealing with the feelings of impending doom

[prouddad]

I could use some help with a way to stop taking everything to the worst possible outcome. If I dont get hold of my wife for a few hours my mind will start to wonder into all the reasons why that could be. I know 99.99% chance its because she set her phone down and walked away. If im in a large crowd my mind might start to think about a terrorist attack. Lay in bed and think about the house catching fire or a home invasion. Etc.. I know this isnt the case, but it will sometimes be enough to trigger an attack then or shortly after. I think that my ADD might contribute to the problem because I find it difficult to concentrate on the moment or stay engaged in what I should be doing. When my mind wonders it will generaly take things to the worst possible outcome.

[Anne1221]

I don't know how to help you because I do the same thing. It's so frustrating. The medication I take helps a lot but I still find myself doing this on occasion.

[Im-Suffering]

I could use some help with a way to stop taking everything to the worst possible outcome. If I dont get hold of my wife for a few hours my mind will start to wonder into all the reasons why that could be. I know 99.99% chance its because she set her phone down and walked away. If im in a large crowd my mind might start to think about a terrorist attack. Lay in bed and think about the house catching fire or a home invasion. Etc.. I know this isnt the case, but it will sometimes be enough to trigger an attack then or shortly after. I think that my ADD might contribute to the problem because I find it difficult to concentrate on the moment or stay engaged in what I should be doing. When my mind wonders it will generaly take things to the worst possible outcome.

Before we discuss beliefs I will say generally people do not question them, therefor your beliefs are your truth, and they attract similar ideas to you. You never thought to question who you are, you were not able to help yourself, because beliefs are your statements of fact. These facts generate thoughts for example, of a home invasion.

With that as a preface, we shall begin. Now, it does not matter if the scenario is the tree outside your front door uprooting to come and attack you. The fear of (insert name) is backed by doubt, no exceptions. And when I say no exceptions I generally mean it. For example, the doubt about your wife's safety, or fidelity, leads to worry which triggers your anxiety. Indecision which we will now discuss, is fertile soil for the weeds of doubt.

Now, your indecision about how you feel in all cases, is backed by your beliefs about reality. "I am unsafe, the world is unsafe", "I am not there to protect my wife" "my home is vulnerable, and I don't know if I'm capable of protecting myself, or my family", "I always picture the worst possible outcome", "bad things do happen to good people", for example. The belief, whatever it may be, renders you incapable of sound judgement or capable of making a decision, in all cases. Remember, these are statements of fact, unquestioned.

Or maybe we have deeper issues : "I do not trust my wife", "I do not trust people", "or the world", "I myself am untrustworthy, a failure as a husband"

In any case, your indecision and lack of confidence in your own integrity as a decision maker, a trustworthy individual, or maybe an important part of society, or valuable.....any number of false beliefs will prevent decisions such as :

"I trust my wife, and I trust the world she inhabits, all is well"

Now a belief is true for you, so it does you no good to say "she put down the phone and walked away", that will seem a self lie and you will worry all the more.

The belief needs to change.

Indecision without a firm sense of self, will lead to doubt, ultimately worry and then fear. Fear will then trigger the body into anxiety.

Indecision, about your capabilities or even who you are, will lack firmness of character opening the mind to whatever stray thoughts happen to pass that will reinforce the overall weakness. Attracting to it scenarios of doom and gloom, as you term it.

That's the way of it, work on the mental pictures, and the beliefs. Question them, once you break their truth they are open for examination and can be altered. They lose their power. A belief however must be replaced with one more beneficial. Without beliefs the ego will see itself as being killed off, so do not just uproot them, replant constructive ones, deliberately, giving the ego solid ground in its reality.

It takes work, so work at it, period. In the midst of a worrisome thought, question it instead of cowering, "ok, so I am afraid of a terrorist attack while at the restaurant, why am am I having this feeling?" "What is my truth, what belief bridges this faulty thought to my conscious" a belief is always tangled with secondary beliefs, in a web of bridged corroborating ideas about yourself and reality.

If the fear is too strong while you think the thought, wait until it subsides and start questioning. Use a notepad and journal yourself, making changes to beliefs and statements of truth that are no longer valid. You will find some come from childhood. That's ok.

That is all. The information that has come out in this post is very good, I'm happy with it.

[prouddad]

Before we discuss beliefs I will say generally people do not question them, therefor your beliefs are your truth, and they attract similar ideas to you. You never thought to question who you are, you were not able to help yourself, because beliefs are your statements of fact. These facts generate thoughts for example, of a home invasion.

With that as a preface, we shall begin. Now, it does not matter if the scenario is the tree outside your front door uprooting to come and attack you. The fear of (insert name) is backed by doubt, no exceptions. And when I say no exceptions I generally mean it. For example, the doubt about your wife's safety, or fidelity, leads to worry which triggers your anxiety. Indecision which we will now discuss, is fertile soil for the weeds of doubt.

Now, your indecision about how you feel in all cases, is backed by your beliefs about reality. "I am unsafe, the world is unsafe", "I am not there to protect my wife" "my home is vulnerable, and I don't know if I'm capable of protecting myself, or my family", "I always picture the worst possible outcome", "bad things do happen to good people", for example. The belief, whatever it may be, renders you incapable of sound judgement or capable of making a decision, in all cases. Remember, these are statements of fact, unquestioned.

Or maybe we have deeper issues : "I do not trust my wife", "I do not trust people", "or the world", "I myself am untrustworthy, a failure as a husband"

In any case, your indecision and lack of confidence in your own integrity as a decision maker, a trustworthy individual, or maybe an important part of society, or valuable.....any number of false beliefs will prevent decisions such as :

"I trust my wife, and I trust the world she inhabits, all is well"

Now a belief is true for you, so it does you no good to say "she put down the phone and walked away", that will seem a self lie and you will worry all the more.

The belief needs to change.

Indecision without a firm sense of self, will lead to doubt, ultimately worry and then fear. Fear will then trigger the body into anxiety.

Indecision, about your capabilities or even who you are, will lack firmness of character opening the mind to whatever stray thoughts happen to pass that will reinforce the overall weakness. Attracting to it scenarios of doom and gloom, as you term it.

That's the way of it, work on the mental pictures, and the beliefs. Question them, once you break their truth they are open for examination and can be altered. They lose their power. A belief however must be replaced with one more beneficial. Without beliefs the ego will see itself as being killed off, so do not just uproot them, replant constructive ones, deliberately, giving the ego solid ground in its reality.

It takes work, so work at it, period. In the midst of a worrisome thought, question it instead of cowering, "ok, so I am afraid of a terrorist attack while at the restaurant, why am am I having this feeling?" "What is my truth, what belief bridges this faulty thought to my conscious" a belief is always tangled with secondary beliefs, in a web of bridged corroborating ideas about yourself and reality.

If the fear is too strong while you think the thought, wait until it subsides and start questioning. Use a notepad and journal yourself, making changes to beliefs and statements of truth that are no longer valid. You will find some come from childhood. That's ok.

That is all. The information that has come out in this post is very good, I'm happy with it.
First off. Thank you so much for your very well thought out and written post. If I am understanding you correctly you are saying to challenge those fears. Not sure how I can do that. In case of home invasion, every morning I find out that the fear was unwarranted. I could spy on my wife to find out her status, etc... Or are you saying that my beliefs are not congruent with reality. If that is the case, my first response is to challenge your statement with facts about why my beliefs are warranted. Which is the challenge that I go through with myself all the time. I know that my fears are real, just very, very low probability. Before I go any further let me know if im on the right track.

[NixonRulz]

First off. Thank you so much for your very well thought out and written post. If I am understanding you correctly you are saying to challenge those fears. Not sure how I can do that. In case of home invasion, every morning I find out that the fear was unwarranted. I could spy on my wife to find out her status, etc... Or are you saying that my beliefs are not congruent with reality. If that is the case, my first response is to challenge your statement with facts about why my beliefs are warranted. Which is the challenge that I go through with myself all the time. I know that my fears are real, just very, very low probability. Before I go any further let me know if im on the right track.

If I may, Im-Suffering....

Your beliefs ARE your reality

If you believe it, how is your mind to know any different to talk you out of it?

Your brain will do as it is directed

If you are confident and BELIEVE that the world has some scary stuff but the odds are so small those things will happen, your mind and body will not react in fear becasue they BELIEVE that you are not afraid

I know that is a bit tougher to do with GAD, but it is easily done if you just set the mind down the right path

[prouddad]

I may need to stop watching the news and participating in political/current events forums. I will try to make the shift and concentrate on the good. I have trouble finding much good in the world. I guess im more of a glass half empty person.

[Im-Suffering]

I may need to stop watching the news and participating in political/current events forums. I will try to make the shift and concentrate on the good. I have trouble finding much good in the world. I guess im more of a glass half empty person.

Your overall world view is colored by your beliefs. You don't have trouble finding good in the world because the world is inherently no good, you have trouble finding good because your beliefs attract corroborating evidence, such as the news for example. Beliefs come first. The ego is the sum total of the beliefs. You are meant to examine them periodically for validity, and make updates to suit you. Constructively, to live well.

Mental clarity would say, "yes there are home invasions in the world, but that in no way means I will suffer that fate" your emotions would be neutral. Now if your emotions were strong, and you became fearful, you set in motion the probability for attraction, by your energy focus, whether desired or not. The laws of attraction cannot recognize between pulling toward you or pushing away, so you get what you want and what you don't. With enough emotion, you get what you expect, no exceptions.

So apply all of this to your level of fear, level of emotional energy directed at any of the scenarios contemplated.

There is much more but I haven't the time this evening, but this should offer a brief explanation. The OP of mine offered much more information if you wish to give it a few reads and contemplate quietly.