Hello from NJ

[prouddad]

Hi everyone. I joined up in hopes of finding some answers and help getting my anxiety under control. I had anxiety as a child that seemed to develope after taking ritilin for ADD around 3-th grade. I was able to get it under control by time I hit my teens and have done reasonably well with that until a few years ago. I cant trace it to a particular event although the death of my Dad followed by the death of my dog and complicated by some family/marital issues seemed to match up with the time when it began to worsen. I have since reconciled the family/marital issues and loosing my father. I am now 39 and the anxiety is at an all time high for me. I have even woken up in the middle of sleep with a panic attack. Until the last couple of months I have been able to control with 5mg of Buspar once a day, I even tried going off of it on 2 occasions when the anxiety had stopped. Now the 5mg does not seem to be enough. I plan to up it to 5mg twice daily in hopes that it gets better along with incorporating several weekly visits to the gym, and getting back to doing regular yoga. Currently if I am not doing something I tend to be breathing very shallow, maybe hyper ventilating, always feel bloated, dizzy, have trouble going to sleep or feeling comfortable anywhere.
I am a 39 y/o male who owns the family business (been around 50 years). I am overweight at about 250 and 6'1". Although life isnt perfect it is good and I tell myself that. I am fortunate compared to many. I think I cause anxiety by having the anxiety.My wife is supportive. She is also starting her masters in behavioral health as well as being a certified yoga teacher. Often I feel like she is the source of my anxiety with her ignorance of her own health. She doesnt practice yoga (even though she is a cert. teacher), she drinks nothing but diet coke and she smokes about a pack a day.
I feel like I am rambling a bit so I will stop here.
Cheers,

[Enduronman]

Hey Prouddad!

We ALL have anxiety friend, in some form or another.
It sounds like you have a pretty good grip on your symptoms with the exception of sleep. Sleep is of the utmost of importance. Crucial.
Do you have a good relationship with your doctor so you could discuss the sleep issues, the breathing and dizziness issues?
I can see where the wife may be causing some if the troubles with being trained to be healthy and yet drinking the cokes and smoking too...doesn't seem to make sense to you.
Rambling is good, it's how we get to know one another...
Welcome friend!

Enduronman :)

[Kuma]

Hey NJ - welcome. (I won't ask you what exit). Your story is not unusual around here. Of course, the specifics vary, but the general themes are similar. Read some and you will see... I used to think my anxiety came, in part, from my wife. But I have come to believe that, while anxiety can be exacerbated by events, relationships and external forces, it ultimately comes from within. And, in any event, the only person you can change is yourself. Best wishes with that, and all else.