Life is ruined due to anxiety

[shldlovelife]

A life experience has led to me becoming scared,anxious,unable to work or drive also commitment phobic .need to earn to lead decent life .staying with parents who are heart patients. But past experiences make me want to avoid a new job or relationship....Help please...sorry for bad English. .

[Kuma]

Don't worry about the English. Your's is not bad, and we have people from all over the world on this forum.

Your screen name says it all -- you should love life.

Don't identify yourself as someone whose life has been ruined, or who is unable to work, unable to drive, unable to have a relationship. That sounds defeatist. Instead, maybe identify yourself as someone who has gone through a difficult or traumatic experience, and is suffering temporarily as a result, but is fully committed to doing whatever it takes to overcome the adversity and get back to a good quality of life.

So what is the plan? Maybe some psychological counseling? Maybe making some small goals and achieving them one step at a time? Maybe relying on friends and family to help you get through it. Maybe pushing yourself to see if you can do some things that you did not think you were up to? (You are probably stronger than you think you are)

I don't know what your experience was, but people no better than you have overcome horrific experiences -- the Holocaust, torture, wars, kidnappings, abuse, prolonged illness, etc. -- to live good, normal, rewarding, productive lives. It is not easy and it does not necessarily happen overnight, but it does happen, for those who are committed to it. If they can do it, so can you. But you need to make a plan, you may need some help, and you need to be 100% committed to success.

Best wishes, Kuma

[Dahila]

Your life is only ruined when you let it be ruined. Read the stories or awesome people on General forum. We have tons of successful stories. My English is as bad as yours, it is my second and actually fifth to be precise. You can do, work, have relationship, you just need a bit of help. Would you like to share your story with us?
Welcome to the forum:)

[gypsylee]

Hello,

I think we all feel like our life has been ruined by anxiety at some stage. I know mine would be a hell of a lot different without it. But you have to accept that that's what you've been dealt in life and make the most of what you've got.

Instead of thinking about how you think life should be, make peace with how it is and focus on the good things. Sometimes it's hard I know, but I'm sure there are people in the world who would love to have some of the things you do. For example, you have an internet connection which suggests a reasonable standard of living. The biggest cause of misery is the difference between our expectations of life and our reality.

This isn't to say don't do anything to change your life. I find it's easier to take little steps to improve life when you aren't fretting so much about how awful it is. The other replies here have some good suggestions for making positive changes.

Hang in there :)
Gypsy

[shldlovelife]

Thanks Kuma, Dahlia, GypsyLee for your kind words.I was always introvert but outgoing.... lost all confidence. suddenly now I have fear of going out of home or driving.panic attack even when I think of going out alone...fine when parents accompanying me.got a new job but want to say no.in past always stressful at jobs....maybe not my calling,but no idea what I like.also feel palpitations and headache when anxious.only comfortable at home.but feel wasting my life...but I am also so tired of all symptoms of anxiety that feel like staying at home.no friends .all world is moving only I am stuck in this anxiety issue.last 2 jobs left because major anxiety attacks so don't want it again if I join new job which is very soon ....less than 1 week.always parents accompany everywhere but not possible in work, it was not like this earlier i was very independent.

[Kuma]

What country do you live in?