Hi, I'm stupid and an idiot.

[Air Breather]

Hi,

Over 10 years ago I was in a relationship with a beautiful young woman from Greece, she had the most beautiful heart a person could have, was intelligent, funny and unbelievably sexy. I messed it up and we broke up, after a month and dropping about 3 stone in weight I ended up in hospital from taking an overdose; it wasn't a cry for help, I was angry and wanted to hurt her, without going into detail it was something that I did that scared the willies out of me and now I can't get angry, can't allow myself to.

So here we are over 10 years down the line, after meeting so many women over the last 10+ years who I never had an attraction to, and along comes this young lady who takes me sideways, the first person (not gay but accept even MEN can find another man attractive) in over 10 years who I feel attracted to, and she agrees to try seeing each other.

2 weeks later she has dumped me already, but this just makes me feel so stupid; she was ill and we went to hospital, took her home and went into my natural mode of looking after someone, stayed with her either at mine or hers, brought her tea in the morning (and other times), filled her hot water bottle when she needed it and other things to help her relax, she claimed all that was smothering her and couldn't handle it.

Now I am not bothered as much in finding someone else I am attracted to after such a long time, it is just that in being me I got dumped, she wasn't even excited about being the one that brought me out of celibacy (not religious, just through choice of not being attracted to any women I met (or men ha ha!)).

I was me and I am an arse, is how I feel.

[Enduronman]

Welcome.
You aren't the only stupid idiot, I am one too! YAY!!
Relationships are a challenge for sure.. two divorces later.
Just yet another aspect of life and you will recover and rebound too.
It just takes time, time heals.
It just wasn't meant to be so quit being an arse and start over. LOL!
Have a good day.

Enduronman :)

[Air Breather]

Don't get me wrong, I have met some beautiful women over the last 10+ years, but not once has one attracted me, I did nothing differently, being a friend, being me and she literally swept the world from under me after over 10 years of being single. That I thought something might come of it, even had a teeny tiny inckling it might be something more, and she dumped me for being me.

[Air Breather]

Who she was attracted to in the first place.

[darkavenger]

Greetings Air Breather,

If I may, what exactly is the deal here with You, anxiety, and Your GF? I kind of missed the "anxiety" part.

Well anyway, from my experience. There's not one, perfect girl, there are many. And in this case, You're a womanizer obviously, therefore You need to face the consequences eventually,

Hope You're gonna get better soon in all ways,

take care!

Bryan

[Enduronman]

We live, we learn friend..
I have been with (2) women in the past 23 years so I'm probably not the best at offering relationship advice. LMAO!
But, I had met and dated dozens prior to my first child..that was when I was young and full of energy of course..
Just had to pick up the pieces and move on into another chapter of life.

E-Man. :)

[Air Breather]

You might want to read my profile before you respond.

Yes Anxiety, also depression as I am sad I let myself believe for a moment something good might happen.

A womaniser? You couldn't be further from the truth, I am the guy who stands at the back of the room next to the exit.

[darkavenger]

Sorry, didn't read the profile. And understood wrong "look after for someone". I took it for looking for some another girl, not taking care of her. My apologies.

Still, it doesn't change the facts. Women are the most unstable partners on this planet [I'm straight, unluckily for me], no matter whether You're the good guy, or the bad guy. Coping back together with Your "ex" is always, and always will be a bad idea. There are some bulletproof reasons why people got into our past, from our lives, and aren't there in our presence - it's either our own fault, or theirs, at this point of view and moment, it doesn't matter anymore.

Trying to make the "idol" for You, from Yourself would be the first step to Your overall happiness. Trust me, right after all the women will see You as a god. It's a life principal, when You don't value Yourself above all, You'll never be respected, and taken seriously by the others.

This one is pretty hard for me either, since I was altruistic asshole and r-tard for 27.5 years of my life, now I'm almost 30. I gave everything to people, sacrificed for them, my time, energy, health, money, everything, till the time I nearly met my own death, or maker.

Keep it up!

Bryan

[Air Breather]

It isn't my ex re-appearing, this is a new woman, one I only met recently and I believed the things she said, was sucked right in and feel a complete and utter arse.

[Air Breather]

Yet I am now the evil one and everything I do or don't do is testament to that.

[Enduronman]

Shake it off bruh and quit kickin yerself in the ass over it..Or at least try too.

E-Man.

[Air Breather]

I know what you mean, but she is awesome, intelligent, funny, beautiful and sexy as hell.

[Air Breather]

and I was myself, which I won't change for anyone and looked after her while she was feeling rough.

[Enduronman]

I can empathize friend..I too had lost many that I thought very highly of and still remember those moments and events but, as you already know there are billions of other bright, smart, funny, and sexy ladies out there...you've just gotta get yourself in front of them.

E-Man.

[darkavenger]

I guess I'll go to bed for today, 16 hours of work bounced on my reading sense pretty much, three general faux-pas :) I'll take my leave for now.

[Dahila]

You do not wait for something good to happen, cause you waste your time. something good is happening every minute, and a lot of good is happening to you. Just look around you. You are sensitive and smart and you will find someone who will love you, and accept the way you are, then you will easily change yourself to be what that person needs. I started a new relationship when I was 50 and being single for over ten years. I am happy and found home with him, even it not always work the way I want. You take charge of your life and smile, the first smile gives the sign :)) I like it the guy, had seen him few times then I smiled....there you go ..:)

[Air Breather]

Thanks Dahila but I still feel like an idiot, I keep getting sad that I was attracted to the first woman in over 10 years and in being me wasn't enough for her, I just feel that everything I am is a failure and had good reason in not letting myself get in that position for such a long time, being told it won't work because I am too giving has completely thrown and crushed me.

[Dahila]

Air breather, many, many years ago I had a major crush on my school mate, we dated for some time, then he broke up with me:(( He is an old and not really attractive anymore, we email from time to time. I had never forgive him and every time i see his art or his pics I just feel pain. I feel also kind of naive that I put so much in this. It was fated to fail from the beginning. Try to work it, so it does not bother you anymore:))

[Air Breather]

Thanks Dahila, I see what you mean yet she was attracted to me for me, the sex was OK, just a lot of work as she has issues with her sexual self and she felt the relationship should have taken a certain course, one that she is comfortable with, and clearly it didn't as she collapsed on the first Sunday and she wanted to go to the hospital to see the out of hours gp service, so I took her, then went into caring mode to look after her, which is part of who I am, but this wasn't good enough for her.

I do feel better today, plodding along trying to get a few things organised and all, but the feelings of sadness come in waves. Went out for a walk yesterday, made it about 1/2 mile from the car before I had an anxiety attack and had to turn around.

[Anne1221]

I think you might want to consider getting some counseling/therapy. You have gone 10 years and not met a single woman who interested you until this one? And now, she seems to be the end all/be all for you? And you're taking all the blame instead of realizing that there are many women out there who would LOVE to have the attention you have lavished on this woman? Are you clear if you're straight, or bisexual? Most of the straight guys I know have no attraction to men whatsoever, but you do. You're got to get that clear for yourself before you get into a new relationship. Just food for thought.

[Air Breather]

Hi Anne, I am definitely straight, there is no confusion about that, but as a scientist understand that all mammals will have bi-sexual relations for many reasons, from pleasure to dominance; which is why we are still the same, it would be a strange man or woman who didn't realise that after seeing it so prolifically in nature and not realise we are the same.

I have met some beautiful women over the last 10+ years but none of them have had anywhere near the same effect this one has, but I am not naive, I know out of all the woman among the 7 billlion people on the planet there will be ones I am attracted to in the same way, just not met one of them till her.

[Dahila]

Everyone is unique. I had meet some of that people, and I had never met another one like him or them. sometimes is difficult to get the same attraction as before, maybe due the maturity, and changes in way of seeing the world.
I had met one who is still the most intellectually stimulating man on this world. To have the feeling just once and never repeat them again is more than normal for me. I believe in soul mates :))

[Air Breather]

Am glad to say I wasn't sad today, didn't think about it much as was helping a friend in their garden and am about to go for a dive which will blow all my cobwebs out, the one thing that helps me with my anxiety ironically enough.

I don't really get out much so meeting people is a serious issue, and to meet someone I feel comfortable around is even harder as they are few and far between, I hate having to plan things ahead of time to control my anxieties but for once am glad for it.