It' back and ruining my life..........SIGH

[JohnC]

I absolutely can not believe that all my old anxiety is coming back. It's hard on my wife and kids, my job suffers and so do I. All started with my father's declining health which makes me worry in itself then i start to worry about every freakin thing that pops into my pea sized brain. It's so damn debilitating and consumes my entire thought process all DAMN DAY!!!!!!!! I feel like ........ hell i don't even know what i feel anymore.

[Kuma]

I could have written your same note, word for word -- just substituting "mother" for "father." I don't have any insights for you -- I am, myself, just trying to get through each day as best I can, and hoping for better in the future. You are not alone. Best wishes, my friend.

[JohnC]

Thanks Kuma and i am sorry that you too are going through this. It really sucks.

[Exactice]

John!!!!!! The best advice I can give is dont be so hard on yourself! I have said this many of times but I just want to remind you and everyone. All the Tools you have gained to deal with your panic and anxiety is not to rid them, but to help deal with them to make it easier and easier.

Your anxiety is coming back and that is NORMAL for any Human, We will have anxiety for many stressful situations and it sounds like you are having a stressful situation now with your family. REMEMBER though the tools you have, have helped you deal with the anxiety better. Also if you notice I bet the attacks may be frequent now, but they dont last as long as they did before as you are now more educated on how to deal with it right???

So dont dwell on the fact that they are back, Look at the duration of the attack and be happy as I am sure they dont last as long and are no where near as bad as the "bad" attacks you had before right? Look at that positive side first and dont beat yourself down, pick yourself up! You deserve it!

[AliasEQ]

Hey John! :)

I have this analogy by Elliot Hulse. It's about suicidal thoughts, but I think it can be applied in this situation aswell;

"I understand the feeling is real, this idea that you want to put an end to the entire 'game' of life. I wanna offer you this - there's a law. There's a law in nature which is that of seasons. Let me give you an example of how silly the idea of suicide just might be. For example in the winter time, it's cold. It's freezing f*cking cold. And it can be so cold, that you're miserable. If a man was so cold and miserable that he decides 'perhaps I should kill myself?', because this freezing cold misery is not worth living in. Someone might offer him the idea that or 'remind' him of the law that; 'dude, you've got another 6-8 weeks and then spring is coming, things cycle through, it's just a season. I understand it's freezing f*cking cold and you feel HORRIBLE, BUT hang in there. The heat is coming back!'."

I hope it can help. As Exactice said, have some patience, that's the key to everything. It's normal to feel like sh*t sometimes, but always remember that it's just a period of your life and it will cycle through.

Wish you the best! :)

Elias

[NixonRulz]

John- just like everyone else, you are fooled into thinking there is danger when none exists

That is what anxiety is

We are consumed with the possibilities of what may happen in the future

And when you feel like it will never stop, it is easy to find yourself at the end of your rope

This isnt permanent. I promise you.

It is just getting to understand and truly believe that your thoughts should not scare you

When we watch a scary movie, we get scared but soon as it ends, we realize it is a movie and the fear subsides

With anxiety, you watch the movie in your head of all the scary future thoughts and treat them as reality so you physically react

That is the line that you need to stop crossing

Your thoughts of what may happen cannot cause a negative reaction physically

You completely understand this and accept it when you are feeling well

When anxious, not so easy to grasp

You will figure this out and OWN it

Make anxiety your bitch

[Dahila]

Yeah the problem is His dad is deadly sick and it causes so much fear, which I understand, I had been there....
John your family must support you now, you are allowed to be a bit selfish and focus on your emotions. You will survive , I did even I had not wanted to live. think about the small guys how much they need you. I do not think showing them that you are upset and explaining why , it would do any harm, I think rather the opposite. Be strong my friend.