Need someone to talk to...first time ever opening up online

[zoiden]

Hi all,

I kind of just wanted someone to talk to. I'm 23, I started an online business a couple of years ago that I put so much time into and it ended up being a temporary success. Long story short, I ended up slacking with the business and it ended up failing. As a result, I went back to college to work on my degree. I am currently starting Fall semester and I can't help but feel so depressed and stressed because I do not feel like school offers me what I want. I also feel a lot of anxiety because I was very close to having a successful business after putting so much time and effort into it but had just ended up letting it fail. As a result, I feel very demotivated and trapped when I think of trying to start another business. I feel like school for me is just a band aid to reassure myself that I won't end up homeless, but I'm honestly miserable. The subject I am studying in college is not a factor, it's a subject I want to learn (Computer science) but I just don't feel like school will offer me what I want.

I feel extremely torn now between two things. I feel like I HAVE to stay in school or else I can find myself in a very bad situation in a few years (financially) but I also feel like what I really want to do is have a go at another self made business. I also just have so much anxiety in general about the whole situation that I feel like I can't do both now. Even though I've been doing well in school, I feel it is a drag for me. I don't know what to do...I feel like I am headed for disaster. I feel like I cannot focus on anything. Even being in school and doing really well, I am not satisfied. I got straight A's last semester and I didn't feel any joy. I feel depressed because I don't feel fulfilled with school because I want to own a successful business and be my own boss. I am just so scared to put school on hold and start a business again only to have it fail...again. Then I don't know what I will do or if I will be homeless.

I don't know exactly what I will get out of opening up to you all...I just feel trapped and torn to the point where I feel I won't get anything done and I will squander all my opportunities...

[Steven Miller]

The subject I am studying in college is not a factor, it's a subject I want to learn (Computer science) but I just don't feel like school will offer me what I want.

It's fine if you want to learn computer science, but if you don't want a career where you can use it then it doesn't make sense to get a degree in it.


I also feel like what I really want to do is have a go at another self made business.

What kind of business? You might consider getting a business degree.

Anxiety is caused by acting inauthentically, by behaving in ways that you don't want to behave, and not doing things you want to do. The best way to cope is to really feel out what you actually want to do. This is the hard part, but also the fun part. "Having a successful business" isn't enough. What kind of business? What sort of change will this business make?

[JustaGal]

Hi all,

I kind of just wanted someone to talk to. I'm 23, I started an online business a couple of years ago that I put so much time into and it ended up being a temporary success. Long story short, I ended up slacking with the business and it ended up failing. As a result, I went back to college to work on my degree. I am currently starting Fall semester and I can't help but feel so depressed and stressed because I do not feel like school offers me what I want. I also feel a lot of anxiety because I was very close to having a successful business after putting so much time and effort into it but had just ended up letting it fail. As a result, I feel very demotivated and trapped when I think of trying to start another business. I feel like school for me is just a band aid to reassure myself that I won't end up homeless, but I'm honestly miserable. The subject I am studying in college is not a factor, it's a subject I want to learn (Computer science) but I just don't feel like school will offer me what I want.

I feel extremely torn now between two things. I feel like I HAVE to stay in school or else I can find myself in a very bad situation in a few years (financially) but I also feel like what I really want to do is have a go at another self made business. I also just have so much anxiety in general about the whole situation that I feel like I can't do both now. Even though I've been doing well in school, I feel it is a drag for me. I don't know what to do...I feel like I am headed for disaster. I feel like I cannot focus on anything. Even being in school and doing really well, I am not satisfied. I got straight A's last semester and I didn't feel any joy. I feel depressed because I don't feel fulfilled with school because I want to own a successful business and be my own boss. I am just so scared to put school on hold and start a business again only to have it fail...again. Then I don't know what I will do or if I will be homeless.

I don't know exactly what I will get out of opening up to you all...I just feel trapped and torn to the point where I feel I won't get anything done and I will squander all my opportunities...

Do you feel good about speaking to a student counselor/resource at school? They offer many resources for exactly what you are experiencing. Couldn't hurt to give it a try. The advantage of that is they have heard your story many times and know ways that can help you sort it all out with a viable plan. Take advantage.

[Exactice]

Hey Zoiden,
Success and Failure is measured by what you have done at the end of your life. "I Never Failed, it was just a 200 step process" - Thomas Edison. You are frustrated and a little demoralized. That is normal. Its now up to you to see the good of what you have done or keep dwelling on it.

What I mean is, you were on the verge of making a successful business. So that means you are CAPABLE of doing it! You just need to make sure you dont slack off again! Thats it! School is just an added bonus that will "Help" but doesnt guarantee anything. So you need to focus, get it out of the way and then pursue your success.

Dont be hung up on your struggles but learn from them so the next go around it will be easier. This goes along with Anxiety. You learn all these tools to handle a panic attack or an anxiety attack. An attack comes on, you use those tools to make it easier and easier to deal with. Dont get mad at yourself for having them. These tools dont make them go away they make it easier to deal with when the come on.

So with school and the skills you learned from your start up business. It will be easier to do the second, third or maybe even 10th time around who knows! Its up to you!

[Kuma]

One option would be to finish the degree, but to commit to yourself that when you complete it, you will then try to start your own business again -- assuming that, at the time, you still want to do so.

With the degree in your pocket, starting the business may be less risky -- and less likely to provoke anxiety -- because if it succeeds, you are in great shape, and if for any reason it does not succeed, you can get a good job with a computer degree. So you have something to fall back on.

Strikes me as a rational strategy, but of course only you can decide that.

[zoiden]

Thanks all for the suggestions...I appreciate the good advice. For those who are depressed/anxious, what makes it difficult to escape the depression is sometimes (most of the time, or at least in my case) it requires hard work to be able to change your circumstances and improve your situation. When you are depressed and feeling hopeless though, even simple work can sometimes be hard...it sucks :eek:

[Kuma]

Yup -- it is really hard to get motivated and be focused and productive when you are feeling depressed. Many of us (including me) have faced that. I try to power through it, keeping in mind that I have obligations to my colleagues and my family to do my best. But it isn't easy.

[Enduronman]

What a great post with some really solid advice and support! :)

E-Man.