I'm new and terrified

[AnxiousMatt]

Hello,

My name is Matt. I was diagnosed with an anxiety and panic disorder 6 months ago. I really just need to reach out right now because these symptoms make me insane.

I've been experiencing ringing in my ears 24/7. The ENT told me it had to do with my blood pressure. I eventually was prescribed beta blockers, and the ringing is still ongoing. It's very terrifying when it gets loud.

I get these sharp pains on the top of my head. It makes me think there is something wrong with my brain.

My left arm constantly tingles. Sometimes my left leg tingles. It's also terrifying.

I get these dizzy spells when the ear ringing gets louder. Smoking makes it all worse. I'm trying to quit.

My anxiety and panic surrounds my heart health. I hate feeling my heart beat and I feel it all the time.

I get angry at all of this. I get angry at my girlfriend when she doesn't deserve it. I get moody and lazy and miss work. I absolutely hate all of this.

I really don't want to live the rest of my life like this. Constantly terrified that something is really wrong. I hate taking ativan or other meds like that because I used to be a drug addict. And when I start, I just don't stop. Nothing in my life has made me want to die so badly, and be so terrified of death at the same time. I'm not suicidal. Not yet.

Am I destined to live the rest of my life like this? To live with these symptoms and thoughts. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Thank you.

[Xerosnake90]

You're not destined to live this way the rest of your life. If I told you your symptoms are all dictated by your mindset and thought process are you ready to believe it?

[Jshort89]

Hi sweetie- I'm new too, not to anxiety- but the forum. And you do feel this way at first- you feel like you are going completely nuts. I feel like I'm in a dream a lot of the time, what the dr's call "depersonalization" either way I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. BUT you DO overcome, the first year, at most, is the worst- as soon as you get rid of one symptom, you'll have another to freak out about. My advice is to familiarize yourself with anxiety. Read about it, talk to others about it. Whenever I panic about something, for instance, for the longest time I thought for sure I was schizophrenic , or would become that, I get online and read that that is a common fear for people with anxiety (when it's a completely different mental illness all together). I can't count the times my arm has felt tingly and i thought for sure I was about to have a heart attack.

As for your g/f, I annoy the hell out of my husband with this mess- constantly worrying, but they learn what triggers you, and how to calm you down.

I can promise you this, the beginning is the WORST- because it's all so new and so scary. You will never be at this point again, because you can't experience something for the first time, twice- right? I was just about anxiety free, then I got knocked up and hormones went crazy, lol.

I wish you all the best, and I'm scared too, but it's better to be scared with others than by yourself

Message me if you ever need to talk.

-Jess

[AnxiousMatt]

I'm willing to suspend my disbelief. I don't know. It's hard as hell to think it's all in my mind. Interestingly though, before I posted, the ringing in my ears was intense. Now, not so much. So it's possible, but it sure doesn't feel like it. Haha.

[AnxiousMatt]

Thanks Jess. It means a lot that you replied. It makes me feel better that other people are getting this stuff, too. And yea, my girlfriend probably knows me a lot better than I know myself and what triggers me. I think she just needs to smack me around a little more often. Haha. .. And yea, I might take you up on that offer. Because before long, I'll be a total wreck again. Thank you.

[Kuma]

Hey Matt. Unfortunately, there are a bunch of us who deal with anxiety. It is really hard to have the perspective to say to yourself, when it gets bad, "this is just anxiety." But if you can get to that place, it helps a lot. It still isn't fun, but you can get through it. Hang in there -- there is life beyond anxiety attacks.

[Jshort89]

I guarantee a slap across the face would take your mind off of stuff for a few. I may mention this to the hubs, but he'd enjoy it too much :laugh:

[gypsylee]

Hi Matt,

Anxiety for over 20 years here (on and off!)

I believe that it's not just mental - there's a big physical component. The nervous system gets out of whack and you end up on "high alert" all the time. This causes your mind to race and it becomes a vicious circle.

There are ways to help the nervous system, the best being deep breathing exercises. It takes a while to get used to it and isn't as quick and powerful as taking a sedative, but it really helps after a while. Google diaphragmatic breathing and how it impacts on the nervous system.

All the best - you definitely aren't alone, even though you sometimes feel like you invented anxiety :)

Gypsy