I could really do with some advice!

[Rfreelance]

Hi there,

Firstly I apologise if this is long or rambly, I'm normally the person giving advice and not asking for it, so sorry if I come across idiotic. Also, a bit about me first: I'm 24, I live with agoraphobia and BPD, I also had PTSD when my mum passed 7 years ago and my doctors think I have it again now my dad has passed away (April this year).

Okay, so I have been freelance writing for nearly 5 years now and I've had my difficulties with it. I'm the best at keeping my clients happy when I'm happy but as soon as I'm sad my work slips. Recently I spent 4 weeks working my butt off and trying to make money for my partners birthday and some big looming debts, I also need to build my profile/good feedback up after going AWOL in April.
For some reason, everything has hit me in the last week and a half, and I began to fall behind. I've explained to clients that I'm having issues at home (especially as I now have 'parental responsibility' for my very badly behaved little sister). So several of my clients know and we're like "take your time" but even their understanding hasn't helped as I've fallen further and further behind on more and more work.

I now have about 8 clients to give work to, all of which is late. Most of them were expecting their work nearly 2 weeks ago and I've already given them my excuses; I really can't be any later! The more I think about the work due in the more I panic and the more I panic the more I bury my head. I don't know what to say to them or how I'll ever get any of this work done! Yet if I think "just take a break and come back to it when you're 100%" then my brain brings up everything I have to pay for, that I'll be letting my partner down massively and I end up back at square one.

I guess I just really need to know what other people would do in my situation. Do I tell my clients it's late again, even though they're patience is running thin? Do I cut my losses with these jobs and start again with new clients (sacrificing bad feedback on the freelancing sites)? Or how do I even begin to get through these jobs when panic takes over?

Thanks so much for your advice

R x

[JohnC]

Hi Rfreelance, Can you try and concentrate on just one client at a time instead of several at once? Pick your best one or two clients maybe.

[Xerosnake90]

You're attempting to cope with your problems by avoidance. I suggest you face the things that bother you instead. Get that work done, just do what you normally do. You're already behind and by worrying about it you're not accomplishing much more than another setback. Focus on your work as if you always have, with confidence so natural it's the every day norm. You've got this! If you need more time let your clients know. Don't use it as an excuse to not be proactive though.

[Anne1221]

I definitely would not let these clients down. Then you've added a new problem to your life...bad reviews online. Just buckle down and get it done but in the meantime, start learning some coping skills to calm yourself down (like meditation, etc)